(no subject)
Title: Three Days Later
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Angst, Romance
Beta: carboncastel
Disclaimer: Please just let them own each other already. I don’t.
Summary: Kame is getting married. Jin is… well, invited. Sequel to Wedding Day.
Author’s Note: Time setting is 2016. And the story actually starts at the scene where Wedding Day left off, but I think it can, to some extent, stand by itself, too. After this fic, I think and hope I'm ready to start a multi-chapter fic. Please watch out for it! Enjoy reading this one! :)
oOo
Jin reached Kame’s spot in front of the mirror. The KAT-TUN leader’s smile was the widest yet, and Jin, looking into Kame’s eyes, slowly opened his mouth to speak.
“Kame, what are you still doing?! The ceremony’s about to start! Why - oh. Akanishi,” Koki burst into the room, evidently panicking, but stopped abruptly when he spotted Jin. “You came.”
“Um, yeah…” Jin awkwardly replied, unable to meet the rapper’s gaze.
“Well, let’s get going, shall we?” Koki turning his back to them and approaching the door again.
Even before Kame could reply, the soloist discreetly but forcefully tugged at his necktie, so that it instantly had to be redone.
“He’ll be there in a minute. He just needs to fix his tie.”
“Oh okay. Let’s fix it,” Koki said, coming nearer.
“No, we can do it,” Jin said hurriedly, almost lurching to step between Koki and Kame. He managed to act normal, though. “Go back to the function hall and entertain everyone. That’s the best man’s job, isn’t it?” Jin added with a fake laugh.
Koki cast a concerned glance at Kame who merely stared back without a word. After a moment, though, he nodded and Koki took it as permission to obey Jin.
“What was that about, Akanishi?”
Kame spoke as soon as the door closed behind Koki, and his voice had none of the geniality his smile displayed just moments ago. Clearly, he sensed that Jin was up to something, and Jin could already guess that this was going to end badly.
They were here now, though. Jin debated with himself as to why he should go, and he went not so much for the wedding but for the frail, ridiculous hope that he would win Kame over. It was selfish, he knew it, and he knew that he did not deserve what he was hoping for. But in this room now, he had to, at any rate, believe what he wanted to be able to say what he had to.
“I - it’s - I just - ” Jin stammered. If he was going to say anything, now was his only chance. “Kamenashi, I - ” Jin gulped and said the only thing on his mind. “Don’t get married.”
A thick silence hung in the air. Like it was not air at all. Like awkwardness suddenly became a different type of substance, replacing oxygen, that took up the space not occupied by the two men. It was the kind of quiet that was shocked and relieved and angry and scared all at the same time. Kame stared, his face remaining blank. The tentative lack of reaction encouraged Jin to speak again and ultimately explain himself.
“Please don’t get married,” Jin said, taking a step closer. “I - I can’t see you get married. I won’t - ”
Tears were beginning to form in the corners of Jin’s eyes as he uttered probably the most honest words he had said in a few good months. Or years.
“I won’t be able to live with it - with myself - if you got married.”
Jin’s eyes were pleading, and yet Kame managed to give a cold laugh through a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Good one, Akanishi. Did you plan this with the other groom’s men? This is really creative of you - ”
“Kame, I’m serious - ”
“So am I,” Kame cut him with a livid tone. “You think it’s that easy? It’s about time you learned that you can’t get every single thing you decide to fancy.”
“Kame, I love you - ”
Kame momentarily displayed shock, but quickly regained his angry stance.
“I did, too,” he said, and Akanishi jolted at the sudden confession, albeit being in past tense. “And it was not easy moving on. You can’t just come back and ruin what I’ve worked hard on.”
“You’re saying that because you know you still have feelings for me - ”
“I’ve found the perfect person for me,” Kame continued, his voice growing louder to drown Jin’s words. “And she’s going to get what she deserves. And that is me, the whole of me, and nothing less.”
Jin could feel the earth falling away. From the start, he knew that his chances were slim. He had imagined being rejected over and over again in his mind ever since he received word that Kame was getting married. But hearing it straight from Kame now, it felt immeasurably worse.
“That’s why I’m going to pretend that what you said was just a prank. That’ll make life easier for the both of us.”
With that, Kame exited the room. He didn’t look angry, but there was barely any emotion observable in his pale face anyway.
And no, Jin didn’t believe pretending would make his life easier at all. Finding out that Kamenashi, in fact, once had feelings for him only made it doubly hard, and Jin just didn’t know what to do anymore. Jin turned in his spot and attempted to yell after Kame, but his voice would not come out and his feet would not move. It was just too much. Jin stared at the door and, unable to rationalize with himself any further, let his tears fall.
oOo
Jin was amazed with how he was able to keep himself sane and his life organized. All he had to do was stay away from work for a while, practically begging the management to give him some time off (“Just a few days!” he even pleaded over the phone). He also refrained from watching television as the media would surely flood the news with gossip, and perhaps some truthful news, about the wedding. Instead, he kept himself busy with his keyboard, trying out new tunes for his coming album.
Not once did he unfold the newspapers left at his door either, merely throwing them over the foyer table each morning that they came. He shut himself from the world in order to cope, and he knew that just a few more days and his mask, the one that wouldn’t show the hurt he was suffering from, would be ready. He would come back to work and act as if nothing happened.
No one knew that he confessed to Kame anyway, except for the both of them. (Maybe Koki had an idea but he would never tell.) And Kame was starting his new life with his wife now. Without a doubt, those few minutes before getting married wherein Jin declared his feelings were considered part of Kame’s past. And Kame, being himself, would never want to go backwards and dig up what should now be forgotten.
He ended up not going to the wedding after all. As he had claimed in front of Kamenashi, he couldn’t bring himself to watch as the younger man promised to spend the rest of his life with someone else, so that after their short exchange in the hotel suite, Jin got back to his car and drove away. The night that came then was spent like any other night. Clubbing, music, alcohol, women. Jin acted normal, save for the fact that he had not had any contact with the outside world, even his closest friends. He had to be normal. He had to be okay.
It had been three days and all Jin did was read English materials (practicing with the language, of course) and slowly write new songs, so that his living room eventually became cluttered with US magazines and music sheets, which he hurriedly arranged in a passably neat pile as the soft chime of his doorbell rang.
“Ohayou gozaimasu, Akanishi-san,” the sophisticated-looking girl at the doorway smiled and bowed.
Jin immediately recognized her as Kame’s bride, the famous Katsumi Reiko. What was she doing here? Did Kame tell her about Jin’s confession? Maybe she was here to tell Jin to stay away from Kame, as he belonged to her now. Well, Jin didn’t need telling. Kame had made it clear that Jin was no longer welcome in any way in his life. As much as Jin was a bastard about most things, he was not about to force himself on a married man. Happily married, Jin thought sullenly to himself.
“What can I do for you?” Jin asked, slightly nervous.
He stood aside and let her in, and the two of them proceeded to the living room. Katsumi didn’t bother sitting down.
“Akanishi-san,” the girl turned to him, her face somber. “Over the past three days, have you seen Kazuya?”
“Ha?”
Jin wasn’t able to restrain his unceremonious reaction. He had not had any contact with Kame or anyone from the wedding. Was Katsumi here to investigate if Jin had tried anything else after she and Kame got married?
“I - I haven’t seen him since - since your wedding day,” Jin replied, his throat going dry.
Katsumi made a polite smile, though Jin noticed that her eyes were a bit sad.
“Katsu - Kamenashi-san,” Jin corrected himself, remembering that Reiko was now part of the Kamenashi household. “Is there a problem?”
“It remains ‘Katsumi’ for me, I’m afraid,” she replied with the same sad smile, but it made Jin’s eyebrows furrow even closer together.
“I don’t understand…”
“Akanishi-san, I would have thought that Kazuya would come here immediately,” she explained slowly, the heartbreakingly gracious smile never leaving her lips. “It is here, after all, where his happiness lies.”
“Do you - you mean to say - you didn’t get married?” Jin mentally kicked himself for blurting it out so bluntly like that when the lady in front of him was clearly suffering about it.
Katsumi nodded.
“But - why?”
“Let’s just say that… some people appear perfect for each other, but it doesn’t mean they are meant to be.”
Her eyes began to fill with tears.
“Katsumi-san…”
Akanishi took a step closer, wanting to comfort the girl. He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently hugged her. They were virtually strangers but he knew it was the least he could do in such a circumstance. He felt like he was consoling himself, too. What happened at the wedding? Was it Kame who decided not to get married? Where is he now? Jin had so many questions and none of them were polite enough to be asked to Kamenashi’s brokenhearted ex-fiancée.
“I’m sorry,” she said with a laugh, all the while the tears glistened on her cheeks, as she gently extricated herself from the hug. “My tears got on your shirt.”
“Ah, daijoubu,” Jin replied, unsure of how he should feel and act.
“I’m sorry for bothering you today, Akanishi-san,” Katsumi apologized yet again, bowing in front of Jin. “The truth is - I just wanted to drop by and tell you that - ”
She hesitated. Jin could imagine the regret and remorse raging inside her, and it made him feel guilty.
“Please find him,” she finally said, her gaze cast on the carpeted floor between the two of them.
Jin opened his mouth to reply, but realized he didn’t know what to say. Katsumi closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
“Please find him, and make it right for the both of you. Don’t let it go to waste,” she said, finally raising her eyes to meet Jin’s.
She spoke the last phrase with not so much as bitterness, but more of determination and command, as if instead saying “Don’t let my suffering go to waste.”
Jin stared for a while, still shocked, and then nodded. He understood.
oOo
As soon as Katsumi left, Jin snatched his phone from the depths of the dirty laundry pile in his room and, ignoring the 47 missed calls from YamaPi, Ryo, and Koki dated three days ago, dialed Kame’s mobile number. The line rang and rang and rang, but no Kame picked up on the other end to say that “Hey! I’ve been waiting for your call!”
Jin paced his apartment, running his hand through his hair over and over again, confused and excited and scared all at the same time. Why didn’t they push through with the wedding? Did it mean that he still had a chance? And where was Kame now? He tried Kame’s landline number, and was met with endless ringing just as well.
“Koki,” Jin’s voice suddenly sounded hoarse when he spoke as soon as he heard the line pick up.
“Akanishi?”
“Where is he?”
“Who?”
“Don’t play dumb with me,” Jin said, unintentionally sounding offensive. “Where is Kame?”
“I don’t know, Akanishi,” Koki replied coldly, clearly affronted.
“Look, I’m sorry,” Jin immediately tried to correct the mood. “I just need to know where he is right now.”
“I told you, I don’t know,” Koki repeated in the same indifferent tone. Jin wanted to pull his hair out in frustration.
“Koki,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady. “I know you do. Please. Just - please…”
There was a pause. Jin felt that the rapper was carefully weighing up what he should say. Then, Jin heard a sigh.
“Akanishi,” Koki began. “I can’t tell you.”
Even with the negative response, Jin’s hopes went up. Koki indeed knew where Kame was.
“What do you mean?”
“Kame specifically told me not to tell you.”
“Why?” Jin pressed on. He let himself settle on his living room couch but did not relax. His whole being was focused on this crucial conversation.
“I don’t know - ”
“Come on, he must have told you why - don’t be such a - ”
“A what, Akanishi?” Koki sounded cross again.
“N - nothing.”
Jin willed himself to calm down.
“Koki,” he started again. “I need to know where he is. You might not know what this is about, or you might have some kind of idea, I don’t know- but, please listen to me, this is important. I have to find him. I need to find him. Please, Koki. Tell me where he is,” Jin pleaded, ending up ranting altogether.
“Okay, I get it already,” an irritable Koki said from the other end of the line. “But Akanishi, I still can’t tell you, okay?”
Jin failed to reply, slumped on his couch in disappointment.
“He told me not to tell you, and I think I know why,” Koki continued, his voice going just a little bit shaky with discomfort over the topic. “I don’t understand much of it, but - ”
Jin held his breath. Koki let out another sigh.
“I understand how you feel.”
Jin gulped and tried to say “Thank you,” but the words did not come out properly, so that Koki continued.
“I just hope I’m doing the right thing here by telling you - ”
“Yes, yes! Of course you are!”
“I mean to say,” Koki cut short the eager verbalizations from the soloist. “I hope I’m not helping you get a chance to hurt him.”
That shut Jin up alright.
“You’re not,” Jin managed to say. “I’m not going to do anything like that.”
“Good,” Koki said, suddenly sounding businesslike. “As I said, I can’t tell you - ”
“What - ”
“So if anyone ever asks, I never told you that Kame is at his home, alright?”
Jin stared at his living room wall for a moment, processing what Koki just said.
“Akanishi, do you understand?”
“Y - yeah, I do.”
oOo
Jin had been knocking for at least fifteen minutes now, and still no one answered. Koki sounded quite sure when he said that Kame was just at home. Did Koki lie to Jin? Or did Kame somehow suddenly decide to leave as Jin drove to his house? Jin rapped at the door a few more times, loud but without much conviction.
The soloist heaved a resigned sigh as he took a step back to stare up at the simple yet tastefully built façade of Kamenashi’s home. It was really quiet. Jin took another step back. And another. Just as he picked up the pace walking toward the gates, he heard the door swing open. Jin wheeled around and saw him: hair a little disheveled, with bags under his eyes, there stood in the doorway Kamenashi Kazuya.
Jin was too keyed up to recognize the look of resentment on Kame’s face, and he ran up to the younger man’s porch. Before he could reach him, Kame had already gone back into the house, leaving the door open behind him. Jin took it as permission for him to enter.
Jin closed the door behind him and proceeded to the living room, where he found Kame sitting on a couch and staring into blank space. He seemed really shaken. Even after three days? Jin asked himself. He was now confused.
“Kame…” he spoke, unsure of what to say next.
Kame glanced at him, a harsh, piercing glare, before setting his gaze anywhere in the living room but at Jin. The older man stood there, waiting and unsure, staring nervously. The scene remained stationary for a few moments, until Kame broke the silence.
“What are you doing here,” he said in such a low voice that Jin wasn’t sure if it was a question at all, or merely a sound churned out to alleviate the unease. To his surprise, though, Kame continued. “I thought I made it clear when - ”
“Why didn’t you get married?” Jin asked.
He wouldn’t be able to take Kame’s unkind words, especially since he sincerely felt that the younger was only pretending to be proud and tough at the moment. He didn’t want Kame to pretend. Not to him.
Kame opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. Jin carefully sat adjacent to him. The soloist didn’t want to sit across him. If he did, it would feel like a head-on battle, and it was not that. He was not here to confront. They sat in silence, waiting for the words to come.
“It was her.”
oOo
“Kazuya, are you alright?”
Her kind eyes peered at him, showing nothing but genuine concern.
“What - yes, why wouldn’t I be?” Kame replied, laughing a bit to ease his own nerves.
Reiko smiled at him. If Kame had to make a list of reasons why he wanted to marry her, the smile would have to be on the top three. Kame smiled back, but his grin faltered as he discerned a hint of trouble concealed behind Reiko’s joyful face. Sure enough, Kame’s bride spoke again, and even as the smile slowly faded, she still looked beautiful.
“Koki-kun told me that Akanishi-san was - ” she began, and Kame instantly understood.
“It’s nothing - ”
“Kazuya, it’s not,” she said, and the sad smile was back upon her countenance. “He is, after all, your true love.”
oOo
“So we agreed not to push through with - with the wedding,” Kame ended, his voice cracking up a bit.
“Why would she agree to - ” Jin began, leaning in Kame’s direction, whereas the younger man still refused to face him. “She knows that - that you - ”
“I love her,” Kame said suddenly, as if trying to convince himself as much as Jin. “We share - shared - ” Kame corrected himself. “ - everything with each other, so she knows…”
His voice trailed off, and Jin didn’t mind. It must have been immensely uncomfortable for Kame and Reiko to come to terms with the former’s sexuality, to begin with, and then to deal with Kame who, from what Jin gathered, was still trying to move on from his feelings for the soloist when he entered the relationship with Reiko.
“I don’t expect your selfish mind to understand, Jin,” Kame said.
His voice was strong and determined, but the look in he had in his eyes was that of defeat. Jin began to wonder if coming here was a good idea at all.
“All you see are chances to satisfy your own wants. You never think of others. You never think of whom you might be hurting by doing something.”
Kame’s words pierced through Jin’s soul. Kame always saw through Jin, and this time was no exception. Guilt streamed through Jin’s veins as he sat there, surveying the man he had equated to his happiness, and realized that, indeed, he had, all this time, been self-centered and unconcerned.
“Maybe, if you worked up the courage long ago to tell me that you felt something for me, it wouldn’t have been this hard. Or this complicated. It wouldn’t have been this way - ”
Kame looked so broken, and Jin couldn’t help but blame himself. He didn’t understand the younger man. Coming here, he thought that things would fall into place and it would all be alright. Seeing Kame this way, though…
“If not for you…” Kame continued in a quieter voice. “I would have been married by now. Happy. In love.”
“You invited me - ” Jin dared respond with the only excuse he could think of. “You shouldn’t have - if you had feelings for me still, you shouldn’t have - ”
“You shouldn’t have come,” Kame replied, his voice growing softer as tears began to flow down his cheeks. He buried his face in his hands. “And if you did, we shouldn’t have had that talk and - ”
Jin laughed, but he had tears in his eyes just as well.
“We should have made a script, then,” he said, trying to sound angry over Kame’s ridiculous statements. “You should have sent it with the invitation, you know? ‘You’re invited to my wedding, but don’t talk to me because I still have feelings for you and they might resurface if we share so much as a greeting - ’”
“Shut up, baka,” Kame said, his breathing going uneven as his tears poured more than ever.
“Kame, I came here because Katsumi-san told me to,” Jin finally said.
He heard a gap in Kame’s heavy breathing as the younger man turned to look at him, surprise evident in the tearstained orbs.
“She - she told me to find you - and - and make it right,” Jin said, getting up from his seat and transferring to the space beside Kame on the long sofa. “She’s a really spirited woman. I now understand why…”
This time, Jin’s voice trailed off, unsure of what more to say. Kame’s tears continued to emerge silently.
“What else did she say…?”
Jin sighed and placed a hand on Kame’s shoulder so that the latter turned to him.
“She told me,” Jin started, coming closer. “Not to let it go to waste.”
“What do you mean?” Kame asked, a quizzical look on his face which was mere inches away from Jin’s.
“This chance,” Jin replied, his eyes fixed on Kame’s lips. “This chance that I’ve been given,” he completed his sentence, looking into Kame’s eyes right before letting their lips meet for the first time.
Jin ran his thumb across Kame’s cheek, wiping away the tears, wishing in his heart that he could sweep away Kame’s doubts just as easily. He poured into the kiss everything he had said, and everything he wanted to say still. Somehow, words were now useless as this silent and serene but intimate exchange of feelings between them was the only way to let Kame know how he felt, how he had loved the younger man all along.
“Jin,” Kame whispered. Jin wasn’t sure if it was a sound of protest, or an involuntary moan. “We can’t…”
Jin tried to say “Kame” but ended up as garbled noise as they kissed again, Jin meekly slipping his tongue into Kame’s mouth. The younger one was passive at first, still obviously questioning if this was the right thing to do. Eventually, though, after much wordless pleadings from Jin, Kame responded, with equal passion that even surprised the older man.
“Jin…” Now the soloist was positive that what he heard was a moan rather than an objection, as he let his tongue glide over Kame’s jawline and neck. Slowly, as Jin’s lips gently kissed and brushed Kame’s shoulder and collarbones, he felt Kame’s hands travel up his back until the younger man was finally holding him in an embrace. At this, he stopped and raised his gaze to meet Kame’s.
“I love you,” Jin said, boldly looking Kame in the eye. “That’s all I wanted to say when I got to the hotel, you know,” he added softly.
Kame stared for some moments, evidently deep in thought but all the while his gaze never leaving Jin.
Then, just before Kame closed his eyes and leaned in once more, he finally said, “I love you, too.”
It was a rather scared and tentative whisper, but his one hand tenderly and unhurriedly traveled to meet Jin’s. Kame held his hand for a moment before slowly entwining their fingers together, and it told Jin that he was, he thought to himself as they shared another sincere kiss, forgiven and at last being granted a chance to love.
oOo
Katsumi Reiko is, well, OC so… please don’t mind her. I’m actually unsure if there is a Japanese celebrity named as such so if there is, well, it’s not patterned after her.
At first I wanted to write two versions of this sequel, since some wanted a happy ending and some a sad one, but in the end I came up with just one because I think (and hope) that it covered both the misery and joy of the hypothetical scenario. I actually tried to write the sad ending first and got so emo as I did and then it turned out like this, and I felt that I couldn't write anything sadder for this anymore. So yeah, hope you enjoyed it either way. Tell me in the comments?
Link to Wedding Day
Fic list here~