Last night I had to put my cat to sleep. He was my best friend for the past 18 years, and it was one of the hardest things I had to do.

In the time leading up to my decision, I didn't want to do it, I was selfish and could not let him go. That morning he was laying in his bed, sleeping, I would peek in at him, give him a pat and he'd acknowledge me ( Read more... )

In architecture the stone arch was considered the strongest structure. At the top of the arch was a single stone, referred to as the keystone, this was the most important stone in the structure. Without it, everything would just fall apart. Growing up, I always saw my father as the keystone of my family.

Over the past few weeks, I have been living ( Read more... )

Have you ever cried so much, that your eyes burn?

We didn't really hangout, I mean, he was an old roommate, and still lived with my brother. I didn't think his passing would effect me as much.

I called my brother when I found out, and I thought I would be okay, but ... the words ... they wouldn't come out. It felt like I was drowning, my mind ( Read more... )

Today starts the first day of your birthday week. I had planned a couple fun things, and I was hoping to spend the week with you.

Maybe I should be glad that you found someone else to spend that time with, but I'm not.

Its a sore that still hurts.

Sometimes, I'm okay with this. But I'm thinking now, its because we don't talk, that I'm able to not think about you.

Sometimes, I think about you, and I'm not okay with this. I can't breath, the tears well up, and my head becomes cloudy.

I feel like I'm floating in an ocean, it doesn't matter what I do, I'll just bob here, never sinking, never ( Read more... )

How many times can you play a song before it stops making you feel worse. How many times will you play it before you realize, it won't make you feel better.

I didn't want this, and I'm not sure I'm equipped to handle this. All I can do is just keep moving forward, and hope this changes, and the hurting stops.

Everything was going so well, it was ( Read more... )

"I was more offended by him calling you my boyfriend then him calling me a bitch"

I don't know how I feel about you. That's not true, I know exactly how I feel, and it frightens me, because I'm not sure how you feel about me. I know it's something big, but I do not know how deep it goes.

You had the opportunity to cut me loose, I fucked up, big. But you forgave me, and we got past it.

You once said "I don't need to smoke weed to ( Read more... )

I feel like some of us are better at it than others ( Read more... )

Sometimes I get in these weird depressed moods and remember that I have a live journal account. I go back and read the previous entries - everything is so depressing ( Read more... )