Spamalot

[superlemon]

The best spam email I have received to date:

Do you want your dick be even more attractive than your face?

Do you even have to ask?! Seriously, if my dick was even half as attractive as my face I'd be rolling in ladies. All I ever hear when I'm trying to work my magic is how ugly my junk is.

Comments

[instantdharma]

Aaaaah hahahahahhahaha!!

PS: Stop listening to emo.

[superlemon]

Don't judge my occasionally emo indulgence. I will cut you, and then be very sad about it.

[smellylint]

and maybe knit a sweater with her face on it?

[superlemon]

Actually I was thinking I would write some angsty poetry about how the darkness in my soul compelled me to cut my best friend when really all I want is to be loved. And then knit a sweater with THAT on it.

;-)

[catalysticmind]

It's only good if it takes ten minutes to unroll it for a piss.

Re: ;-)

[superlemon]

Oh man, that one's excellent as well.

[artemis908]

I know the answer to how to make your dick more attractive than your face... stop showering from the neck up for about 4 months.

[superlemon]

But what if your problem isn't that it's just dirty and gross, but misshappen and perhaps spiny? Or resembling the Lock Ness Monster? Come on, Jen. Have some sympathy for the severely unattractive dicks of the world. They need lovin' too!

[artemis908]

I happen to think the Lock Ness Monster is hot

[superlemon]

Well then there are a lot of guys out there who would be interested in getting your number.

[smellylint]

in all seriousness, i have seen some ugly junk. well naughty bits in general are not what i would call attractive, but i know that you've had some problems getting poon, so i do not judge you. make your dick pretty and do it proudly.

[superlemon]

Well yeah, peen isn't generally the stuff that Cover Girl commercials are made of.

Thank you for not judging my horribly misshapen genitals. You're like Mother Teresa with a platinum grill. Bless you.