The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight ( Read more... )

I've never felt so lost and in the dark. I let the depression get the best of me last night and became someone I hate once again. Even if it was only for a night, I let the old asshole come back around. I am disappointed in myself and today I feel absolutely weak and damaged. I know I am stronger than all of this and I know I can beat it. I know I ( Read more... )

Today we went to the ranch. It's so awesome to have a place to go and feel so at peace with everything. I got there and my aunt had some chores for me, so I did those and then had fun. Me and my cousin talked today about his divorce and he seemed so surprised at the advice I had for him. He and I hung out a lot today, he even got me on a bull again ( Read more... )

Today I woke up and went to see the doctor. He did all the normal tests, then ran an ultrasound and told me there are four spots that are possibly cancerous. This is not the first time I have been down this road. I let him give me the first shot today for another round of chemo. As to be expected, I was crushed when I heard the news, hear I am ( Read more... )

Today was a good day for the most part. Last night I helped Jay with homework and we hung out. She is amazing and it's crazy how after so long and so much I can still feel so much for her. She drives me crazy in only that way that she can, accept for now I have to be quiet about it. I know she knows how I feel cuz she knows me better than anyone. ( Read more... )

It's Thursday morning, two weeks to the day I decided I needed to wake up and save my marriage. I was too late, but not to late to save a friendship. She doesn't need me as her man anymore, but she needs that guy that has always been there deep inside. The best friend that made her feel not so crazy. I read her journal entries today and realized I ( Read more... )

I'm sittin here on Mother's Day morning with my two gorgeous kids. We are sitting here talking about Mamaw and their Gramma and I have no feelings on her. Mamaw was the only mom I ever knew, the only woman ever who never gave up on me. No matter how drunk I got and pissed in her plants, no matter how many times she had to tell me which way to turn ( Read more... )

Tonight Jay's gone to a party and I am sittin here watchin TV and studying pharmacy stuff. I am very thankful that I decided to watch John Edward Cross Country, because a mother of a 4 year old boy that passed away said the words "Always Blessings, Never Losses." I've had a hell of a time at things lately, it seems like just as I am getting over ( Read more... )

Slowly Fades Away ( Read more... )

So, here it is December 7th at 12:27am and I am just now writing again. There has been a lot going on. Jessi and I have been doing great. That woman is my world. I wish that people could see the way we are together when no one else is around. Then maybe everyone would see how in love we are and that no one will ever tear us apart. If you are ( Read more... )