So many things have happened since the last time I wrote.  I used to feel I was so eloquent but... let's face it- I was vague and hipster-movement-inspired. ...Something of the sort.

I last wrote in January of 2012. Since this time a great number of things have happened.  Only a few are really important in retrospect but I do wonder if, while I'm ( Read more... )

I'm terrified of living and unsure that it is genuine or wrapped up in anxiety.

[I really cannot figure out how to write anything anymore...]

these guys are kind of magical. dominic and sebastian evans. they played live for our sale and their voices... mesmerizing. i can't get over how much they make me want to dance and cry. OutsideOverThere
here's a sample of one of my favorites they played.. calla lilly ♥

wow. i'm a lucky girl. <3

you disappointed and hurt me. it's simple, really.
in petty ways, i want you to keep asking about me.
i want you to feel badly for what you did. -how you left this.
to know that i've been stupid and hurt myself in tribute to this.
but i also want you to grow up.
and i want you to understand what you caused.
that things can't and won't be the same between ( Read more... )

&& i remember wanting ever so much for him to see me at my worst.
to see what i'd ignored and purposely hid. [bitter tastes.]
i wanted that trust and love.

who do others in my life want to see them at their worst?
i miss inquiring.

i'm just not ready to breathe without you.
mitchell smith. michtell smith. mitchell smith.
i want to change my mind.

"trust me." and like a fool, i did.
people tell me that i'm a little too kind for my own good. that i'll give too much of myself away without a thought or care in the world if someone asks me to or i think it might end well. i trusted him and he made me cry. it's terribly unfair that anyone, let alone a boy i've known for such a short while, can ( Read more... )

Although spending time with them can be very stressful, I'm moreso fond of these delightful little memories we create each time we're in Portland. I hope to keep up with the swing dance scene after she moves. It's lovely. I enjoy that I'm laughing at myself without feeling too embarrassed during dance as well. It's a terrific first, and one I hope ( Read more... )

sometimes we tear into those old habits because we've lost our familiars. because it's an answer. maybe more of a question.
it's funny- my measurement of bad. are there degrees to something being bad? i used to consider it all black and white.

i've been angry, hurt, torn between left and right.
people say that what i do is because i have control ( Read more... )