5 Times JUMP Read Fanfiction + 1 Time They Found The HSJ-thon
Title: 5 tImes JUMP Read Fanfiction + 1 Time They Found the HSJthon
Genre: Comedy?
Pairings:
[inoo x daiki]
[takaki x chinen]
[keito x ryutaro]
[hikaru x yabu]
[yamada x yuuto]
Rating: G
Notes: Written for the HSJ-thon
The fics mentioned at the end are here if you haven't read them yet:
here at chibilover14
here at strawberryrin
I
Hey! Say! JUMP were lounging around during their break time. Yabu was doing more paperwork for their upcoming performance, Hikaru was practicing his next skit, Inoo was trying to help Daiki grow [via stretching], Yamada was eating strawberries, Chinen was spinning for no reason, Ryutaro was playing with his hamster, Keito was reading a 50,000 page book and Yuuto was on his laptop. Fairly normal. Too normal for Yuuto. So he decided to google “Hey! Say! JUMP” just to see what would come up. He looked at the first link given and clicked on it.
“Whoa,” Yuuto said loudly, “look at this website I found! It has JUMP fanfiction! Who would’ve known!” Everybody stopped what they were doing because they were fairly interested. They all walked over and crowded around Yuuto’s laptop.
“It’s very organized,” Yabu said, always being the observant one.
“Yeah, they’ve got them in categories and everything,” Ryutaro said, looking at the long list.
“That’s so coo- WAIT. Why is there an ‘Inoodai’ category?!” Daiki shouted in a very flustered state. He tried to secretly steal a glance at Inoo but Inoo must have had the same idea because they both looked at each other at the same time and turned bright red in the face. The JUMP members watched amused as they both turned their heads down to look at their feet while trying to control their blushing.
“There’s a JJ Express category!”
“And a Ya-Yah-Yah one!”
“Ehhh…an OC category. Wait, what does OC mean?”
“Why do all the writers keep saying ‘OTP’ and ‘OT3’? What does that mean?”
“Maybe it’s some sort of code for something!”
“It goes on and on! I think they’ve made every pair possible within Hey! Say! JUMP,” Yamada said incredulously.
“Here’s just a few apparently: Yamajima, Yamabu, Hikakeito, Hikainoo, Takachii, Takabu, Keitamoto, Keitojima, Inoodai, Tadaiki, Takahasshi, Asadai, Yabuki, Chiitaro, Yabuinoo, Yabumoto, Takainoo, Takayama, Daichii, Daikamoto, Takajima…And Hikabu!! What DON’T they have?” Hikaru said in a happy voice.
II
Keito sat in front of his computer in his room. He was staring at the fanfiction website from earlier today. He had opened up his internet and had just thought of coming here to check it out…but just thinking of actually reading the fanfictions made him blush. Well…it would be fine if he just looked at ONE….right? He looked around as if to see if anybody was watching him and quickly clicked on the “Keitamoto/Keitaro” category. He scanned the fanfics and chose one to read.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```
“The sun was setting and Ryutaro was walking too fast.
Keito couldn’t do anything about it. All he could do was
whisper quietly to Ryutaro’s fading back, “I love you.”
Keito sniffled and closed the window. That was a sad one, he thought. Angsty, but good. He wiped a way a tear and clicked on the “crack fanfics” category.
III
Daiki was over at Inoo’s house after agreeing to have a sleepover with him. They were watching tv and it was obviously still a little akward from the whole fanfiction/blushing to the color fuschia thing that happened today. However, they just pretended like it didn’t happen and kept their eyes on the screen. When a commercial came up Daiki glanced over at Inoo but quickly looked back at the screen when Inoo turned to look at him.
“……You want to see the fanfics, don’t you?”
“I didn’t say that!!!”
“I could tell you were thinking it though.”
“Shut up and go turn on your computer.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
They were now hanging out in Inoo’s room. Inoo was running around and cleaning up, being the neat freak he was, and Daiki was sitting in front of his laptop looking at the different fanfics. There was a comfortable silence until Daiki opened his mouth.
“I….I’ve waited so long to ask you this, but..will you go on a date with me?” Inoo’s heart skipped a beat and he whirled around to stare wide-eyed at Daiki.
“W-What?”
“What?”
“What did you just say?”
“Oh, I was quoting one of these fanfics. Aren’t they so cheesy?” Daiki laughed and continued browsing. Inoo looked downwards to hide his disappointment. He continued cleaning up his room but in a much slower pace and his movements were less motivated. There was another long stretch of silence that, again, got broken by Daiki.
“Umm…I’ve liked you for the longest time. Will you kiss me?” Daiki asked, not turning from the computer screen. Inoo frowned. His heart was dying from rejection and Daiki was STILL quoting those stupid fanfictions? Inoo swallowed and licked his lips.
“More quoting?” Inoo managed to say. Daiki whirled around in the chair. He gave the surprised Inoo a flirty smile and whispered:
“No…”
IV
Yabu, Hikaru, Yamada and Yuuto were all hanging out at Hikaru’s house because his mom had insist on him inviting them over. They were all in his room using his two laptops and just lazing around.
“Haha, in this one we get married and move to Guam. That’s not a bad idea,” Hikaru said with a teasing smile directed towards Yabu. Yabu gave a shy smile back but quickly started going over some of JUMP’s paperwork again. Hikaru just pouted at how un-fun Yabu was being. His pout soon disappeared however when he heard a giggle from Yuuto’s direction.
“What’s so funny?” Hikaru asked.
“I…heehee…I found…TEEHEE…YAMAJIMA NC-17 STORIES,” Yuuto shouted in both delight and amusment. He burst into laughter and quickly clicked on one. He was giggling and having fun reading the fanfics until Yamada walked by. He was eating a strawberry and looking at something he had picked off of Hikaru’s bedroom ground when he got a good look of what Yuuto was reading. Rage was building up in Yamada’s buff 15 year old body and Yuuto was done for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~```
Later they found Yuuto choking on several strawberries that looked like they had been forced down his windpipe, Hikaru’s brand new laptop in shreds found at the park across the street, and Yamada gone, saying something about feeling sick and going home.
V
Takaki was babysitting Chinen and Ryutaro for the night as an easy way to earn extra money. He “babysitted” them everday during rehearsals anyways. He had brought over his brand new laptop and so currently Chinen and Ryutaro were “oohing” and “ahhing” at it.
“It’s so shiny!” Chinen squealed happily.
“Have you used it yet?” Ryutaro asked curiously.
“Nope. You guys can choose the very first website this laptop goes to then!” Takaki offered sweetly, just like the Okaa-san he is.
“Really?” Ryutaro asked suspiciously.
“You’re the best Yuu-yan!” Chinen again, squealed. They both hugged Takaki and went back to the very shiny laptop. After 5 minutes it was pretty obvious that even though they were excited over Takaki’s small offer, they had no idea what website to go to. After another half an hour of just staring at the desktop background, [which happened to be a picture of JUMP], Chinen finally got it.
“LET’S GO TO THE JUMP FANFIC WEBSITE!!”
“Whoa that’s genius!” They opened up a window and typed in the address. Takaki smiled at their happy faces but instantly frowned when Chinen clicked on the “Daichii” category.
“Hey Chii, why don’t you try the Takachii category?” Takaki said quickly.
“Ahh? Yeah sure Yuu-yan.” Chinen clicked on the category and looked up at Takaki. “Why do you want me to look at this category and not me and Daiki’s?” Takaki blushed and looked up at the ceiling.
“Uhh…because they have good fanfics in this category..?”
“Pshh…I KNOW WHY Chii, and it’s TOTALLY not that,” Ryutaro said in a smug voice.
“Well my dearest Mori-chan, maybe I should tell dear Chii why your eyes keep going over to the Keitamoto/Keitaro link. Wouldn’t that be an interesting story to tell?” Takaki said in a sweet voice, though his face was the exact opposite of that emotion. Ryutaro flashed bright red in the face.
“I don’t…you kn-I was not! And…jsasldfkj…TAKAKI!” Ryutaro said in his flustered state. Takaki and Ryutaro fought for the rest of the day while Chii just sat there contently reading the fanfictions in both the Takachii and Daichii categories.
VI
Everybody was in their dressing room relaxing during break. Except for something was very very different today. All the members had brought their laptops in and were concentrating on their screens with a scary intensity. Their manager walked in and smiled. They all were studying very hard, is what she had thought. But if she had looked at their screens she would have known that yes, they were studying, studying the fanfictions that is.
“Why do all these people write me as the blushy, school girl type? I am NOT like that,” Daiki complained.
“And why do I always seem to be the pushy jerk who gets jealous easily?” Takaki whined.
“Hey, at least you don’t come off as the idiot who can’t say anything right and is romantically challenged,” Hikaru muttered.
“…But that’s true isn’t it?” Yabu said quietly.
“Shut up or no trip to Guam for you.”
Yuuto was searching Google again for more fanfiction websites and found a link to one website that had a lot of visitors. He clicked on it.
“WHOA!! IT’S AWHOLE HEY! SAY! JUMP-THON!!”
“THAT’S SO COOL!”
“GIMME THE LINK!”
“WHOA, THERE’S SO MANY FANFICS!”
“AND IDEAS!”
They sat in silence for awhile as they searched the different ideas. However, the complaints seemed to be adding up.
“How come there are so many Hikakeito fanfictions?” Yabu said miffed.
“WHY DO ALL THE PROMPTS ABOUT ME HAVE TO BE CENTERED AROUND MY HEIGHT?!” Daiki said, on the verge of tears.
“…..There’s not enough Keitaro fanfics…” Keito said to himself. He quickly typed a comment about that and closed the window before anybody could see what he had just done.
“Hey! Why am I depicted as the dense bully in this one?” Hikaru complained.
“What’s it called?”
“5 Times Hikaru Stole Keito’s Lunch and 1 Time Keito Actually Gives It To Hikaru.”
There was a silence as everybody read the fanfic. All of JUMP, excluding Hikaru, started laughing really hard after they finished.
“Haha! Hikaru, you’re so dumb in here!”
“Ahhh!! Poor Keito, being attacked by the idiot of our group!”
“Poor Keito! I’ll share my lunch with you!!”
“What are you talking about? It’s a fanfiction.”
“Awww~ The ending was so cute!~”
“What a good message at the end.”
“I like my line about Keito being a saint or being plain stupid.”
“This writer is GOOD. She’s got Hikaru right on spot!”
“Well Hikaru, this ‘strawberryrin’ has got you all figured out.”
All the members thanked this so called ‘strawberryrin’ for writing out Hikaru’s bullying ways and Hikaru just went back to sulking. Soon afterwards everybody’s hearing was invaded by a girly whine coming from the general direction of Inoo Kei.
“WHY, OH WHY AM I LIKE THIS IN THIS PROMPT?” Inoo squealed in a voice that was 3 octaves higher then his usual voice. He told everybody that it was the prompt “5 Times Inoo Tried To Flirth With Hikaru” and everybody went off to read it. There was this long silence as everybody tried to absorb all the crack that they had just read. Then, as if on cue, they all busted into roars of laughter that was shaking the whole Jimusho.
“ZOMG INOO! Who would’ve known you were such a FLIRT!!”
“HAHA OH MY GOD! That’s sexy Inoo. Good thing you did research.”
“Inoo, I forgot to bring my library card but if I had it, I would defintitely check you out.”
“Hahahahhahahaha.”
“THIS IS TOTAL CRACK!”
“I want to see Inoo-chan in a dress.”
“If only Inoo was like that in real life.”
“Who is the author who is responsible for this crack?!”
“Who wrote this?!”
“It was a girl called ‘chibilover14’”
And so that’s how the rest of the day ended up. Hey! Say! JUMP had locked their room’s door so nobody could bother them as they sat there reading prompts from the HSJ-thon for the rest of the day.
End.