This song, obtained through other sources, reminded me I've been meaning to come here for quite some time. Even though I don't need this place anymore...it needed this. My final entry ( Read more... )

It's a lot like sonar, this "memory"...but even without an absolute picture in my mind, I know it's Truth.

I remember what Laura's dad did to me in her parents' bedroom.

( Read more... )

1 year post-op, 161.2lb

It's a...hard thing to wrap your head around. Losing 200lb. But I have, since my highest weight July '07.

I'm starting to get scared I'm losing too much weight, because you can see my ribcage pretty well if I lift my hands above my head (it's somewhat visible above the flatness of my pita breasts with my arms down, but ( Read more... )

1 year post-op; 162.7lbIt's official. The last pertinent entry in my medical records request listed me as 163.5lb in August 1992, when I was just 12 years old. That was when I started to gain weight...probably after Laura's dad. The next earliest entry in the records request listed me as 114.5lb, at age 11 ( Read more... )

And I can't contain it all here. It'll take so long, and my heart's so full. So it'll have to be bare-bones for now.

1 year post-op; 164.7lb, surgeon's goal achieved; 160lb lost since surgery (197lb since highest)I was probably in the recovery room this time last year, or perhaps already in my hospital room. My old self was dead, and my new birth ( Read more... )

It's too much for right now. But I did want to cover this ( Read more... )

I just found out Mercury's been retrograde since September 7th. That explains SO much. The May Mercury Retrograde didn't seem to affect me as much as the January one did, but the September one sure has ( Read more... )

I'm just enough "out of it" today that this might work.

Today, I'm not typing notes in our database, not tracking deadlines, not frantically trying to keep up with my workload. I'm not writing boring words about boring topics for the sake of a paycheck because it's Friday and not Saturday or Sunday.

No. Today I play on a piano of words. And I ( Read more... )

Isn't insanity being able to perceive what no one else can?

Am I finally there...?

...

the e-mails with my mom prove it.

( Read more... )

No, seriously. It's awesome to be unable to handle anything and barely hold back tears. Funny how it always seems like random shit I wasn't expecting happens on days like this ( Read more... )