[for lulai] Kept Looking Forward On Paths Sideways [1/3]
Title: Kept Looking Forward On Paths Sideways
For: lulai
From: Anonymous
Pairing: Suho/Tao
Rating: NC-17
Length: 24K
Summary: Joonmyun’s life is about to fall apart. Cue Tao to help him fall in a different way.
Warning(s): Genderswitch (some members are girls), het sex
Author's Note: Tao, Yixing, Jongdae, and Chanyeol are all girls in this fic, respectively named Tao, Yiying, Jongae, and Chanmi.
Thanks for all the great prompts! I really wanted to write them all but this one stuck out somehow~ Thank you to the mod for putting up with my final stretch tardiness ;_; also thank you to my baby-beta, M. I really wanted to write more with this (and it’s already the longest thing I’ve ever written…) but time got away from me. Title ripped from the song Kissing Families by Silversun Pickups. I hope you enjoy!!
Joonmyun wakes up to the shrill ring of his cellphone instead of the calming ocean sounds alarm clock he had recently bought. Rolling over, the blue glow of the numbers on the face of the clock inform him it’s only 6:47 in the morning, which is far too early to be awake on a Saturday as far as he’s concerned. Especially when one’s had the night that Joonmyun’s had.
He rolls back over, hoping whoever’s calling him will quit soon. However, after the voicemail alert goes off, he doesn’t find himself drifting back to sleep, but instead being annoyed again by his phone ringing. Growing tired of it, he finally hauls himself out of bed, grabbing his phone from where it sat on his dresser.
10 missed calls: Kim Minseok
Starting to become worried of what his assistant could want this early on a Saturday, he forgoes checking the voicemail for calling the man back directly.
Minseok picks up after just one ring.
“Joonmyun!” he almost shouts in said man’s ear, which doesn’t bode too well with the headache Joonmyun’s nursing from all the incessant ringing.
“It had to be two, huh? One we could’ve made off as a girlfriend, but two, and suddenly they know it’s prostitutes. You had to have two, Joonmyun?”
“What are you going on about?” he asks sourly, sitting back on the edge of his bed with a scowl on his face.
“Joonmyun, listen to me,” Minseok says shortly, “Dispatch emailed you with photographs of your dates yesterday with two clearly different women. If we pay them within a week, they will cut the story and delete the photos.”
“And if not…” Joonmyun cuts in hastily. “Shit, hyung.” It’s too early for this. The rest of his life is probably too early for this, actually, seeing as this should’ve never happened.
“Yeah, shit indeed,” Minseok grates out. Joonmyun scrubs a hand across his face. “How much are they asking for?”
“5 million won,” Minseok replies, “and I’m not contributing anything towards that.”
Joonmyun sucks in a shaky breath. Five million won would… that would put a severe dent on both his bank account and his pride. It’s not like Dispatch had done anything deserving of that sum, all they had to do was follow Joonmyun around for a few moments.
But it was the few moments that really counted, he supposed.
“Can’t we, like, expose them for corruption or something?” Joonmyun questions weakly, biting his thumbnail to keep himself occupied as he thinks.
“Says the man caught with not one but two prostitutes in the same day?” Minseok scoffs.
“They’re not hookers,” Joonmyun bites out in return, forgoing sitting for sprawling out with his back on the bed.
“Do you pay them?”
“Not with money,” Joonmyun starts, but Minseok cuts him off with an annoyed sound hissing through the receiver. “I don’t care to know the details,” Minseok grates out.
Both men are silent for a moment. Joonmyun can hear the slight rustling of what he assumes to be bedsheets on the other end of the call. He raises an arm over his eyes, willing himself to wake up from this horrible dream.
Except it’s not a dream, and it’s all of his own doing. The sound of Minseok’s breathing still fills up the otherwise silent phone line.
“What are we gonna do, hyung?” Joonmyun finally says nearly inaudibly, squeezing his eyes shut tight.
“I’m about to do more for you than I probably should,” Minseok sounds tired and Joonmyun feels a twist of guilt and regret in his stomach. “I’m going to think of a solution to this. We need to avoid a scandal, since I’m assuming you want to keep your cushy job.”
Joonmyun nods before realizing Minseok can’t see him. “Right, of course.”
Minseok sighs and the sound rings in Joonmyun’s ears. “Thanks, hyung,” Joonmyun says after a moment.
“Don’t thank me yet, neither of us may have jobs by the end of the week.”
--
Sleep doesn’t come to Joonmyun after Minseok’s phone call. He checks his email and stares at the pictures Dispatch had attached as proof. If anger could somehow materialize in front of his eyes, Joonmyun would’ve burned a hole straight through his smartphone’s screen. And he supposes if he makes up some lie about how they’re just friends, Dispatch will go ahead and publish it to see what the public has to say about that. Wonderful.
He spends a while doing sit-ups on the floor in attempt to quell his frustration, sweat sticking his shirt to his back despite his high rise’s perfect temperature setting.
Finally resigned to clean himself at 7:15, he takes a shower, spending extra time simply standing under the warm spray of his pressure controlled showerhead. Joonmyun really enjoyed his life, he decided as he stood there. He really liked his job, his apartment, his way of life. But something was going to change, and soon. As he watches the soap bubbles collect and flow down the drain at his feet, a sense of powerlessness starts to overwhelm him the longer he stands there. Trying to shake the feeling, he turns off the shower, grabbing a towel to dry himself before padding back to his bedroom.
Joonmyun dresses in black slacks and a button up dress shirt out of habit, eating a small breakfast of toast and a peach shortly afterwards, carefully preparing coffee with the ideal ratio of grounds to water. Minseok finally calls him back at 7:48. Joonmyun scrambles to answer his cellphone after the second ring.
“Joonmyun,” Minseok breathes out. “I have a plan. Well, I have a tentative plan.”
“Just tell me Minseok,” Joonmyun replies, gripping the edge of his granite counter with his left hand, mug of coffee left temporarily forgotten in front of him.
“My, well, friend, he suggested that maybe… maybe you’re getting married and -“
Joonmyun lets out a strangled sound against his will. “I’m what?”
“Just listen, okay?” Minseok snaps in response. “This sounds fucking ridiculous but it’s the only thing I could think of, okay? If you were planning on getting married we could spin the story that the two girls were friends of yours or friends of hers. Then it’d look like you were picking out an engagement ring, and maybe looking for a fancy hotel with a nice restaurant to propose to her in.”
“That hotel did have a nice restaurant, with a renowned chef,” Joonmyun informs Minseok quickly, corners of his mouth pulling in a smile. “Min hyung, you’re a genius.”
“Well, it was mostly Lu Han, and -“
“Your friend happened to be available for talking before 8 in the morning?”
Minseok pauses for a moment before quipping back, “Well, he’s a very good friend.”
“A good friend indeed I suppose,” Joonmyun drawls, corners of his mouth crinkling up in a smirk.
“Do you want to know the rest of the plan or what?” Minseok snaps. Joonmyun can hear the impatient edge to his words.
“Lay it on me hyung.”
“Please never say that again, ever,” Minseok groans. “You’ll have to actually get married for this plan to work. Airtight, perfect, picturesque marriage.”
A frown works itself to Joonmyun’s face, brow creasing. “How am I going to find someone who’d marry me on such short notice?” He knows none of the girls he’s ever dated - or given gifts in exchange for well, certain favors - would be willing to marry him.
“Here’s the catch,” Minseok starts, “Lu Han knows a girl. She’s a really pretty girl, studying at Hongik now, from China. I don’t know many other details, just that she wants to become a Korean citizen, and obviously marriage would expedite this procedure. We haven’t talked to her yet, but we could set up a meeting for later today, even.”
“He knows her well?” Joonmyun questions, finger tracing along a line in the pattern of the granite. “They’re fairly close,” Minseok answers, “he was her TA for her Korean language class, but you could say they sort of hit it off. I’ve met her more than a few times as well.”
Joonmyun hums into the receiver. His mind was working a mile a minute - he wanted to keep his job, sure, but was it worth it to chain himself to some girl he would barely know? And what about the future divorce settlement, would he lose a lot?
But then again, his career would surely be dead if word of his… activities did get out. Nowhere would want to hire him. Government work was practically out of the question. Ah, the pluses and minuses of working for the Korean government.
“I’m free to meet with her today, I haven’t got any plans,” Joonmyun finally replies.
“Good,” Minseok answers, almost too chipper considering Joonmyun’s current status. “I’ll text you the details later.”
He sets his phone down, and takes a sip of his coffee. His nose wrinkles up in disgust when the lukewarm bitterness registers on his tastebuds.
--
Tao wakes up with an unsuppressed groan as her phone noisily rings under her pillow. Recognizing Lu Han’s special ringtone, she answers just before it cuts to voicemail.
“Hello?” she answers, voice gravelly from sleep deprivation.
“Good morning Princess Peach!” Lu Han blares happily in her ear. She groans again, rolling over away from the window in her room. Sunlight was peeking in through the slats in her blinds.
“What time is it even?” she asks, pulling her comforter over her head.
“It’s approximately 8 in the morning!”
“And why are you calling me?”
Lu Han tsks in her ear, “be nice to ge, okay?”
“Well ge,” she drawls, her voice starting to normalize to its normal cottony intonation, “I went to bed approximately 4 hours ago, so.”
“Why so late? Were you out partying with Jongae again?” She giggles softly. “No, I hit some inspiration for this painting I’ve been working on.” She lazily brings a hand to rub at her eye, noting the red paint that still remained on her fingertips. Having had no motivation to shower or wash up last night, she sort of just disrobed and fell into bed. It was nearing the end of the semester, so naturally projects were piled high for her.
“Well, I wanted to call you right away because I have a proposition for you?”
“A proposition?” she asks with a mock gasp, “and what would Baozi think of you proposing to me?”
His laughter fills her ear and she smiles at the sound, eyes crinkling up even as they’re closed. “He would probably murder me I think.”
“I would probably murder you first, ge,” she answers teasingly. “What did you want to talk about though?”
“I think we should meet in person for this,” he says after a beat, voice sounding sort of tense. “Why ge? Is it serious?”
“Well…” he trails off. “It has to do with you becoming a Korean citizen.” She gasps audibly, “tell me!” she pleads, sitting up in bed.
“I really think we need to meet up to talk about this, Tao.”
“Fine,” she concedes with a yawn, settling back down into the warm cocoon of her sheets. “When and where?”
He hums as if thinking, before answering, “How about at the Caffe Bene in Hongdae at around 11?” She nods unconsciously, “Then I could sleep more. Which one though?”
“The one by exit 9.”
“Mmkay,” Tao agrees sleepily, “I’ll see you then.”
A nervous excitement fills Tao, making her stomach churn a bit. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she quickly sets an alarm for 9:30 before promptly falling back to sleep as soon as her head hits her pillow.
--
Tao arrives at the café around 11:17, combat boot straps jingling slightly as she enters the door. Unzipping her coat as she looks around quickly, she finds Lu Han and Minseok at a round table with comfortable chairs in the corner of the room.
“You’re late,” Lu Han singsongs as Tao sits to join them. Tao shoots him a withering glance before placing her hands delicately around the mug in front of her. “I assume this is for me?” she asks, glancing up from what she guessed was a sweet potato latte.
“Yup, your favorite,” Minseok smiles at her. “Hopefully it’s not too cold yet.”
Tao hazards a sip, smiling as she places the mug back down, keeping her hands around it for warmth. It was so cold in Seoul in January, and her skinny black jeans weren’t very insulating. “Perfect temperature,” she says. When it was evident Minseok and Lu Han were just going to continue looking at her, she asks, “So, what’d you call me here for? What’s this about citizenship?” she asks, smile overtaking her face.
Minseok fidgets a bit in his armchair while Lu Han tries to smile. His eyes are creepy when he’s like this, Tao notes offhandedly.
“You have to promise not to freak out,” Lu Han starts. Tao quirks an eyebrow up, but says “…okay” after a beat. “You can also say no,” Lu Han continues.
“Just tell me!” Tao’s basically bouncing in her seat. See, her goals in life right now were simple, mainly: 1: obtain her bachelor’s degree and 2: become a Korean citizen.
“You see,” Minseok says, “our friend is in, well, sort of a bind? And you’re also in need of help becoming a citizen as well, so we, well, we thought maybe you could help each other out?”
Tao takes another sip of her coffee. “What kind of bind? And help each other out how?”
Minseok looks down at his hands, writhing in his lap. “Well…” he begins. “Our friend is a rich politician…” Lu Han interjects where Minseok trails off, “But he’s young, and sort of attractive, so don’t worry. He got caught in a sort of compromising position and we thought of a way to explain it all away so he can keep his job.”
“But?” Tao asks, curious as she leans her face in her hand, elbow perched on the table.
“But…” Lu Han laughs awkwardly. “You’d um. You’d be getting married to him?”
“What?” Tao squawks before narrowing her eyes, sitting back straight in her chair. “Are you trying to arrange me with someone?” she hisses.
“Well, no. Well, yeah, kind of,” Lu Han answers lamely, hand rubbing at the back of his neck.
“You are both very aware of how I feel about arranged marriages,” she says icily. Minseok scoots back in his chair, further away from her, almost imperceptibly. Tao herself was supposed to be in an arranged marriage already. Supposed being the operative word because as soon as Tao received Korean citizenship, she could live her life out in Seoul and never have to go back to China and face her parents and their crushing expectations again.
“But!,” Lu Han says, voice raised slightly, “after two years you get your Korean citizenship, and then bam! You can divorce or whatever.”
Minseok nods next to Lu Han.
“I…” Tao starts, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Stupid. “I can’t believe you’d even think I’d be okay with this…”
“Taozi,” Lu Han starts, leaning in to brush her cheek with his hand. She recoils from his touch. “We just thought, no really I thought, maybe, it’d be worth it to spend two years with some guy in exchange for a lifetime of freedom? More or less?”
Tao shakes her head. “I don’t know, ge. I don’t think…”
“Do you want to meet him?” Minseok says suddenly. “He’s coming at 11:30.”
Tao stands up right out of her chair. “Most certainly not,” she says, grabbing her purse and slinging it on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” she almost sobs. Lu Han stands up to stop her, but she’s already halfway to the door by the time Minseok grabs Lu Han’s wrist to stop him.
Tao almost stomps into a man approximately the same height as her and dressed in a grey pea coat and black slacks as he stills to hold the door open for her. “Thanks,” she mutters, making her way out and down the street once again.
Joonmyun shoots a glance at her retreating form before noticing Minseok sitting at a table with Lu Han standing up. “Hey,” he greets warmly, sitting down in the seat Tao just vacated. “Sorry I’m a bit early,” he says, glancing at the now closed door. “I wonder what happened to her?”
“That was Tao,” Lu Han whimpers, practically falling into a seated position in his chair.
--
Tao trudges back home through the slush, barely looking up from the path in front of her feet. She was mad, fuming, over the fact that Lu Han, the person she was closest to in Korea and who she would’ve considered her best friend, had suggested she marry someone she’d never met before. For that guy’s convenience. It was like the world was playing some kind of huge joke on her that she wasn’t privy to. She snorts, drawing a look from a woman carrying her tiny dog in an equally tiny pink sweater. Tao pays no mind, wrapped up in her own thoughts, used to getting sideways glances from curious passerbys over her height and her choice of dress and amount of piercing holes in her head. Whatever.
Seoul’s sky was a light grey that day, not a single ray of sunshine anywhere in sight, evidently having hidden after the morning. Her cheeks were cold, tinged pink, tears long dried up in the cold air swirling around her huddled form. She felt so betrayed by Lu Han; she still couldn’t even believe what he had suggested.
“…two years…” replayed like a broken record in her mind, and while it was tempting, an easy solution to her problem, Tao wasn’t about to change her entire life for some guy she’d never even met.
She could handle herself on her own.
Finally making it back to her apartment, she shrugs off her coat, hanging it on the hook next to the door before fumbling out of her boots. Her socks weren’t wet, but her feet were still cold as she wiggles her toes, hoping to generate some heat.
She makes the quick trip to her kitchenette, complete in approximately two strides, huffing when she notices she’s out of fruit. She really didn’t feel like going back out today. Sighing and allowing herself the pleasure of eating something not healthy after the morning she’d had, she opens a bag of jollypong, settling down on the small couch in her room.
Tao’s apartment basically was one room, with a separate room housing a small bathroom. Her bed was on the other side of a screen complete with water-color inspired flowers, and there was a small closet on the wall the head of her bed was against as well. It served its purpose for her needs, anyway.
She idly plays around on her phone, checking her Weibo and Meipai before placing the phone on the floor next to her couch. She rolls the top of the jollypong up after deciding she’d munched enough, that following her phone on the floor, before curling up into herself for a nap.
Tao awakens disoriented, a few stray kernels of jollypong falling from her chest as she sits up. She briefly wonders why she’d woken up before hearing her phone chirp “katalk” four times in a row. She smiles down at her phone as she scrolls up to read the messages from Jongae. Deciding that yes, she probably did need to get out of her house, and yes, chicken and beer would be a great mood booster, she quickly thumbs out a positive response to Jongae’s invitation. She pads to her bathroom, moaning quietly at the state of her hair and makeup from her bout of crying and subsequent nap when she catches herself in the mirror. Quickly shucking her clothes, she hops in her small shower stall, turning the hot water up as far as it can go.
--
Joonmyun sits at home, idly staring at a blank text message composition screen. He toyed with the idea of texting the girls he’d been caught with, even just a “hi, we’re probably done, but don’t tell anyone” just to have someone to talk to. Their whole lifestyle was built around being discrete, so Joonmyun wasn’t too worried about them outing him to the media or anything.
Joonmyun feels like a slob, but he supposes clothing imitates feelings, or maybe it was life imitates art? He sighs, placing his phone on the coffee table in front of him, hiking his sweatpants-clad legs onto the table as well, taking a long pull from the beer he’d been nursing.
Honestly, he feels scared, so scared about how the end of this week would turn out. Squeezing his eyes shut as if to try to will the thoughts away - he and Minseok and Lu Han had contemplated new solutions for a good portion of the afternoon, to no avail - he decides to finish the twelve pack in his fridge. Maybe then he’d be blissfully not thinking.
--
Tao wakes up to a mouth that tastes like roadkill on a bed that is decidedly not her own. She groans, rolling over to crack open her eyes, and comes face to face with a sleeping Jongae. Falling to the floor with a yelp and their shared blanket, she startles Jongae awake as well.
“Good morning, Taozi~” Jongae singsongs, sitting up to rub at her eyes.
“Why were we on your twin bed,” Tao moans, curling back up into the blanket she’s trapped in after helplessly flailing around, unable to become unstuck. She looks down at a shirt that is not hers as well.
“And why am I wearing your shirt?”
“I took you home last night after we drank for some amazing sex, are you saying you don’t remember?” Jongae grins, stretching her arms above her head, cracking her neck.
“Where’s my bra,” Tao bemoans, ignoring her friend.
“We had sex. You don’t believe me?”
“Shut up,” Tao practically cries, Jongae’s voice sounding too loud and grating this early in the morning.
“I took care of you after you practically vomited on yourself, you shouldn’t be telling me to shut up,” Jongae chides, scooting to the side of the bed, legs hanging over the side as she looks down at Tao.
“Thanks,” Tao mumbles, turning her head and receiving a face full of fluffy blanket.
“Do you wanna sleep more?” Jongae asks with a chuckle, voice a little more gentle. “Please,” Tao barely gets out, before Jongae’s picking her up bridal style and laying her back down.
“Christ you’re heavy,” Jongae whines, rubbing her back after she’s all but flopped Tao back onto her small bed.
“Screw you,” Tao says eloquently before falling back to sleep.
The next time Tao wakes up, she sees a glass of water and some ibuprofen on Jongae’s night stand. Gratefully taking all four (liver be damned), she sits up and calls for Jongae to let her know she’s awake again. After Jongae replies back that she’s in the kitchen, Tao regrettably leaves the comfort of Jongae’s bed, following her voice.
“Good afternoon, sunshine,” Jongae smiles up from a textbook and a cup of coffee. “Want some coffee Taozi?”
“Yes,” Tao practically has stars in her eyes, headache almost forgotten. “I love you Jongae,” she says, eyes curving up as she smiles. “I know,” Jongae singsongs, hopping up to grab Tao a mug as Tao takes a seat at the chair next to Jongae’s.
“By the way, you got a few messages while you were sleeping,” Jongae says, pointing to her phone and placing a mug of hot coffee in front of Tao, “they seemed urgent.”
“You’ve been reading my phone messages?” Tao frowns, shooting what she hopes to be a menacing look at Jongae, but the other girl’s lips curve further into a smirk as she raises her hands defensively.
“They pop up on the screen and I could see them. It’s not like I can read Mandarin anyway.”
Tao unlocks her phone with a quick swipe of her thumb - a few messages from Lu Han via kakao telling her he’s sorry and he still loves her (which she rolls her eyes at), but her veins turn icy when she sees a text message from her mom.
From: Mother
Daughter. I sent you an email yesterday. You have not responded yet. Please do.
She snorts at the “please”. Was her mom attempting to soften her command? Yawning, she locks her phone, placing it down on the table.
“Where are my clothes from last night?” Tao asks. “I put them in the wash and they’re drying now,” Jongae smiles up at Tao. Tao can’t help but return her smile with a warm one of her own. “Have I ever told you I love you?” Tao giggles.
“Hmm,” Jongae fake contemplates, bringing her index finger to her chin, “I think just this morning after we woke up in each other’s arms.”
Tao rolls her eyes while Jongae bursts out laughing, booming chuckles filling her small apartment.
--
Tao starts up her laptop when she’s finally home, stomach pleasantly full of delivery jjajangmyun that she’d shared at Jongae’s. She checks her email mechanically, eyes falling on an email from her mother with a gasp. She had almost forgotten about that. She tentatively clicks it open after going through all her other emails.
Dear Tao,
Hello. Please confirm that you will graduate in August. We need to start the plans for your wedding, and this will be easier once I know when you are coming home. Also, we can buy your plane ticket soon. Wufan says he does not hear from you very often. You should make more of an effort to get to know each other so that your marriage is smoother.
Please reply soon.
Mother
Tao snorts out loud, not sure where to even start addressing first in the email. Her pointer hovers over the reply button, before she realizes how easy it would be to continue ignoring her mother from another country.
Archiving the email, closing the browser, and snapping her laptop shut, she rubs at her closed eyes with the back of her palms. She has a long night of reading ahead of her.
--
Around 11pm it hits Tao that her parents expected her back in China next August, and that she also technically had no reason for her visa extension to go past that date, either. She tries to push the thought out of her mind, but fat tears make their way down her face, wetting the page she was still trying to read despite her clouded vision.
Tossing the textbook on the opposite couch cushion, she brings her knees to her chest, worrying at her bottom lip with her upper teeth. If she didn’t have some sort of gainful employer who would sponsor a work visa, or if she wasn’t in grad school or something similar, she’d have to leave Korea. She’d have no other choice.
Reaching for her phone, she quickly sends a kakao message to Lu Han.
To: Lu Ge light of my life~ <3
I’m sorry. I’m not really mad at you or Minseok ge.
To: Lu Ge light of my life~ <3
Can we talk on the phone? Are you sleeping?
Balancing her phone on the top of her bent knee, she tries to take deep, calming breaths as she waits for his reply.
Her phone’s ringtone almost startles her into dropping her phone - she had been expecting a kakaotalk instead of an actual call. It is sort of late.
“Hello?” she answers tentatively, fingers digging into her shin where her hand rests.
“Taozi,” Lu Han breathes out, as if unbelieving Tao really answered the phone. “I couldn’t help but call you, I hope it’s not too late for you. When I saw you called Minseok ge I just thought it was so cute. I call him that too sometimes.”
Tao smiles a bit when she hears Minseok call softly from the background, “Don’t say embarrassing things!” The muscles in her back relax a bit.
“Ge, I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” she says softly, but Lu Han cuts in almost immediately, “Tao, no it should be me to say sorry. I wasn’t thinking correctly and I just ah… I was looking for a solution to the problem. I didn’t realize what’d it make you think.”
“No, I,” she tries to interrupt him, but he’s sort of babbling about what a dumb idea it was in the first place.
“But Lu Han,” she says, voice strained, “it was a good idea. Is a good idea.”
“And - “ he stops, probably processing her statement. “Wait, what?”
“I wanna…” she trails off, chewing at her thumb nail before replying again, “I wanna try. To meet him. Just to… just to see, you know?”
“Tao, you know you don’t have to,” he explains gently, and she almost wishes he was here with her on her couch instead of on the other end of the phone line, so he could hold her and pet her head, whisper reassurances to her.
“I know, but, my mom emailed me today,” she says, voice cracking as she tries to keep in her tears.
“Oh Taozi,” he sighs, before mumbling something to Minseok quietly. “How about we set you guys up for dinner tomorrow?”
Sniffling, she nods her head before replying, “that sounds good, yeah.”
“Do you want Minseok to come with you?”
She scrunches up her nose, imagining meeting this government dude (her future husband, her mind helpfully supplies) with Minseok fretting at her side. “No, I think that’s okay,” she says, after a beat, “Thank you, Lu Han.”
“Anything for you, Tao,” he breathes out and she giggles into the phone receiver. “I’ll text you the details soon anyway. Minseok will pencil you into Joonmyun’s schedule.”
“That’s his name?”
“Yes,” he confirms, “Kim Joonmyun.”
“Okay...” she says trailing off, gnawing at her bottom lip in thought.
“Remember, it doesn’t have to… doesn’t have to be anything. You know that, right?”
“Right,” she confirms, before they bid each other goodnight.
After some intense searching on her phone, she finally finds a picture of Kim Joonmyun, on the homepage for some government financial office (she doesn’t recognize the fancy words). He stands out, young and chipper in his picture, among his other co-workers, none of whom look younger than 40.
“Interesting,” Tao murmurs, rubbing her thumb along his cheek, glowing from her phone screen, before realizing what she’s doing, tossing her phone to a pile of clothes on her floor.
It takes her a long time to fall asleep.
--
Tao all but flops into her seat Monday morning next to Jongae. Chanmi isn’t there yet.
“What’s up, Tao?” Jongae asks, shooting a look over at Tao. “You look angry or something.”
“Don’t I always look angry?” she asks dryly, procuring a notebook and pen from her backpack. “Hmmm,” Jongae muses, tapping a long index finger to her chin. Her nails are painted a soft purple-grey color, Tao notes absently. “You look murderous usually, but in a cute sort of way?”
Tao snorts while Jongae continues, “but today you just look like pissed at the world. Is something up?”
Tao fidgets in her seat as more people file into their class, desks forming a U-shape around the teacher’s desk and board behind that. Tao releases her lower lip she had been subconsciously gnawing at. “I’ll tell you and Channie on Wednesday okay? We can go to a café after Modern Painting ends.”
Jongae hums in agreement, smiling when Chanmi stumbles in just after the professor. “One day she’ll come on time” she murmurs, a bemused grin on her face as Chanmi’s lanky frame bends in a few apologetic bows, her braided pigtails bobbing along with her.
“Perhaps,” Tao agrees, as Chanmi hastily takes the open seat to Jongae’s left.
--
Tao spends her afternoon Monday worrying about everything - what’s she’s wearing, what she’s even doing here, what if they hate each other right off the bat, what if he’s actually an old ugly creep and ugh.
An hour early for their dinner still, Tao plops herself down on a comfy chair in a bubble tea cafe before calling Lu Han, biting at the flesh next to her thumbnail. Fidgeting, she glances down to make sure her top isn’t too revealing or scandalous. She’s wearing a plain, grey, fitted sweater atop a pair of tight black jeans, and they don’t even have any holes in them. She opted for Doc Martens today as well, but whatever, it’s cold outside. She even ditched her dark purple lipstick for a more “socially-acceptable” rose color. Absently running her fingers along the bottom seam of her sweater, she tries to take deep breaths.
This didn’t have to be anything, she reminds herself, I could say no.
Slowly sipping a green bean bubble tea, she waits until 5:45, before tossing her empty cup in the trash on her way out to the restaurant.
Here goes nothing.
Tao trails into the restaurant hesitantly at 5:57. She tries to put on a brave face as she marches up to the server waiting at the stand.
“Table for one?” the girl asks happily, smiling at Tao. “I’m actually meeting someone,” she starts, before the server cuts back in. “Oh you’re here with Kim Joonmyun?” Tao nods in reply.
“Right this way!” she says, guiding Tao to a table with a man she vaguely recognizes. At least she has someone accompanying her on her way to the next few years of her life. Suppressing a shudder, she thanks the server and sits, finally facing Joonmyun.
“Hi,” he says with a small smile. “Hello,” she greets back, hands grabbing her own thighs under the table, fingers digging into the tensed muscle. What was she even doing?
Her eyes flit around the restaurant, noting the fancy decor, the comfortable and nicely spaced seating, and the fact that there’s not that many other people around.
“I thought if there weren’t a lot of people somewhere the restaurant usually wasn’t good,” spills out of her mouth before she can stop it. She cringes, thinking about how Yiying had told her before how she gets when she’s nervous. Defensive. Abrasive. Prickly.
But he laughs anyway, an almost ugly smile lighting up his delicate features. He opens his mouth to say something else, but then the server’s there with a pitcher of water.
“Anything else to drink?” she asks, and Tao definitely wants a drink, maybe something strong like American whiskey because there is no way she’s going to make it through this dinner in one piece -
“How about a red wine?” he asks, looking up at Tao for approval.
“That’d be lovely,” she says with a smile, and well, that’s that. “We’ll take the house red if you could, thank you,” he says to their server with a warm smile. And she wonders if he’s like that with everyone, smiles and talks to people like he’s flirting with them, but she decides now is not exactly an opportune moment to ask.
Every bit of social etiquette seems to fly out the window because Tao can’t even think of a single other thing to say to the man (her future husband) sitting across from her. “Um,” she states eloquently. The smile stays on his face, still so warm.
“Let’s look at the menu, shall we?” he asks, and she just nods dumbly, moving to open the menu in front of her.
The restaurant looked like a normal if not slightly upscale place, but upon glancing over the prices on the menu, Tao stifles a gasp. She had been brought up in wealth, sure, but her past three and a half years as a student have made her a little more thrifty.
“Are you trying to buy my hand?” she asks casually, smiling behind her menu when she hears Joonmyun choke on a breath. “I just like this place,” he says, small pout on his face when she hazards a glance up. It’s kind of cute? Interesting.
They fall into an easy conversation after that, Tao having loosened up a bit (perhaps thanks in part to the wine), and before she realizes it, they’ve talked about themselves and she’s learned a lot, but they still have yet to address the reason they’re both there, eating together.
Joonmyun orders dessert, cheesecake (one of Tao’s favorites), and she decides to take the plunge.
“So why are we getting married?” she asks, and the easy smile he’d been wearing all night falters for a moment. “You might as well tell me the truth,” she adds, “no lies between couples or something, right?”
“Well,” he starts, fork cutting his slice into uniform pieces, “you know I’m a government official,” she nods. “I’m pretty highly ranked so to say? So scandals and what not are very sensitive. Essentially… I was photographed with two different women in one day.”
Tao arches a brow. “You’re dating two women?” she asks, taking a bite of her dessert.
“No, no,” he says, mouth quirked up to the side as he thinks. Probably about how to soften his words, how to sound the best.
“So they were hookers?” she cuts in, and he almost chokes on a bite.
“What is with you people? They’re not hookers they were just…”
“This is so cliché, you’re a sugar daddy? Oh my god.”
Before he has a chance to speak again, their server comes over to refill their water, and like that, the topic is dropped.
Tao makes her way home on the subway, mulling over her night. Joonmyun might be the sort of man she would allow to take her out on a second date, if only to hear him fumble his way around her, him not expecting her to be so… her. But there wouldn’t be a second date, but a fucking marriage instead. Tao gulped as she tried her best to remember that.
--
When Tao finally gets home, after a short contemplation about her life, she decides she should probably get her best friend’s input on her situation.
She calls Yiying after changing into her pajamas, washing her face, and brushing her teeth. Tao burrows into the comforter, propping her back up against her headboard as the phone rings the familiar Skype dial tone. Yiying finally answers and Tao can close her eyes and this, this is what feels like home.
“Tao,” she chirps happily, “how’ve you been?”
“Yiying,” she breathes out, falling into the soft lull of their conversation. But then she remembers what she had called for.
“So, you know how I want to stay in Korea…” she trails off, hears Yiying huff on the other end. “And leave me forever? Yes, of course.”
Tao giggles into the phone receiver. “I think I found a solution?”
“Oh?” Yiying asks, making a surprised sound, “what is it?”
“I’m,” Tao swallows, “getting married to a Korean guy?”
Yiying’s melodic laughter fills Tao’s ear. “Does that mean I can’t kiss you the next time I see you?” Yiying asks. The corners of Tao’s mouth pull into a smirk as she imagines the slight pout that had undoubtedly taken residence on her friend’s face.
“Yiyiiing,” she whines, fighting a smile as she’s comforted by Yiying’s joking, “I’m being serious.”
“What?” she asks, finally registering, “you’re serious?”
“If I get married, I can get my citizenship in like, two years. Then I don’t have to worry about being deported while looking for a job or something.”
“I don’t understand how you’re taking this so… nonchalantly,” Yiying says after a few beats of silence. “A marriage is a huge undertaking. And you’re not even dating anyone?”
“A friend of a friend needs to get married, quickly,” she explains, looking down at her fingers following the patterns of her pajama bottoms.
“This sounds like a fucking drama plot,” Yiying breathes out, and Tao giggles.
“Two years?” she asks, and Tao nods, before making a small affirming noise. “Two years.”
“I guess… if it’s what you want, I can’t really convince you out of it, no?”
“Probably not,” Tao says with a wry grin, smirking.
“For the record, I think you’re insane.”
--
Tao doesn’t take long to weigh the pros and cons, because she honestly would rather do anything than move back to China and get married to that douchebag her parents had set her up with, just to be shipped off like another trinket lining the glass cabinets of their sitting room.
She pulls up Joonmyun’s name on her kakao friends list, sending him a few quick messages:
to: Kim Joonmyun
can we meet somewhere private tmrw?
to: Kim Joonmyun
…4 talking I mean
from: Kim Joonmyun
Kakao_emoticon_angel
Tao snorts. She hadn’t expected Joonmyun to be like that, playful. But she supposes she’d figure him out soon enough anyway.
to: Kim Joonmyun
Kakao_emoticon_face_punch
from: Kim Joonmyun
By talking you mean beating me up, don’t you? D:
from: Kim Joonmyun
But if you wanted to stop by my office tomorrow, that would be private.
to: Kim Joonmyun
U have ur own office? Swanky~
to: Kim Joonmyun
Just tell me where & when. I have class until 2 tmrw.
--
And this is how Tao finds herself in Joonmyun’s office the next day, perched awkwardly on a chair in front of his desk as he finishes a call about taxes and fiscal quarters and… a lot of other stuff Tao doesn’t care to understand.
“I want to be proposed to. And I want you to swear off those whores you were seeing,” Tao says when Joonmyun finally hangs up the phone, a flick of her wrist and he’s choking on air.
“Tao, you can’t just say that here!” he implores, glancing at the door (which Tao had definitely shut on her way in, anyway).
“Sorry,” she concedes, smiling.
“But you’ll do it?” he asks, blinking, almost unbelieving.
“Yes,” she breathes, hands shaking slightly where they’re drawn up in her lap.
“Should we just go now? And get the certificate?”
“I just said I wanted to be proposed to,” she pouts, “and what would your mother think about you not having a ceremony? Are you ashamed of me or something?” she asks petulantly, tilting her head to the side trying not to grin as she watches him flounder for words.
“You don’t even know her and you’re already siding with her,” he grumbles. “I just thought we could get it done sooner rather than later.”
“It takes time to plan a wedding,” Tao points out, “at least a few months. Maybe when I have some time off from school but before graduation?”
“Hm,” he replies, lips drawn up in thought. “It’ll be small though, right?” Joonmyun asks, a hopeful sparkle in his eye. “Well…” Tao trails off, not able to fight back her smile this time. “Sure.”
“Should we start planning stuff out now?” he asks.
“Slow down,” she says with a laugh, “you haven’t even proposed yet.”
He purses his lips as if he wants to say something more, but then schools his face back to a more neutral expression. “What?” she asks amusedly. She wasn’t quite attuned to his facial cues yet, so she wasn’t sure if she’d said something wrong.
“No, I just… ah,” he stops for a second, looking up to meet her eye with a brilliant smile, “I really need to thank you for all this. I can’t even explain how much you’re helping me out. You’re sort of saving my life.”
Tao feels her face color as she tries to brush him off, hand waving with a small laugh. (So cheesy.)
“You’re probably getting the sour end of the deal, having to stick around with me for two years.
“I doubt that,” he says with a smile that she (somewhat) easily returns.
“Should we go pick out a ring tonight?” he asks after a beat, and she smiles.
“I’d love to.”
--
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3
For: lulai
From: Anonymous
Pairing: Suho/Tao
Rating: NC-17
Length: 24K
Summary: Joonmyun’s life is about to fall apart. Cue Tao to help him fall in a different way.
Warning(s): Genderswitch (some members are girls), het sex
Author's Note: Tao, Yixing, Jongdae, and Chanyeol are all girls in this fic, respectively named Tao, Yiying, Jongae, and Chanmi.
Thanks for all the great prompts! I really wanted to write them all but this one stuck out somehow~ Thank you to the mod for putting up with my final stretch tardiness ;_; also thank you to my baby-beta, M. I really wanted to write more with this (and it’s already the longest thing I’ve ever written…) but time got away from me. Title ripped from the song Kissing Families by Silversun Pickups. I hope you enjoy!!
Joonmyun wakes up to the shrill ring of his cellphone instead of the calming ocean sounds alarm clock he had recently bought. Rolling over, the blue glow of the numbers on the face of the clock inform him it’s only 6:47 in the morning, which is far too early to be awake on a Saturday as far as he’s concerned. Especially when one’s had the night that Joonmyun’s had.
He rolls back over, hoping whoever’s calling him will quit soon. However, after the voicemail alert goes off, he doesn’t find himself drifting back to sleep, but instead being annoyed again by his phone ringing. Growing tired of it, he finally hauls himself out of bed, grabbing his phone from where it sat on his dresser.
10 missed calls: Kim Minseok
Starting to become worried of what his assistant could want this early on a Saturday, he forgoes checking the voicemail for calling the man back directly.
Minseok picks up after just one ring.
“Joonmyun!” he almost shouts in said man’s ear, which doesn’t bode too well with the headache Joonmyun’s nursing from all the incessant ringing.
“It had to be two, huh? One we could’ve made off as a girlfriend, but two, and suddenly they know it’s prostitutes. You had to have two, Joonmyun?”
“What are you going on about?” he asks sourly, sitting back on the edge of his bed with a scowl on his face.
“Joonmyun, listen to me,” Minseok says shortly, “Dispatch emailed you with photographs of your dates yesterday with two clearly different women. If we pay them within a week, they will cut the story and delete the photos.”
“And if not…” Joonmyun cuts in hastily. “Shit, hyung.” It’s too early for this. The rest of his life is probably too early for this, actually, seeing as this should’ve never happened.
“Yeah, shit indeed,” Minseok grates out. Joonmyun scrubs a hand across his face. “How much are they asking for?”
“5 million won,” Minseok replies, “and I’m not contributing anything towards that.”
Joonmyun sucks in a shaky breath. Five million won would… that would put a severe dent on both his bank account and his pride. It’s not like Dispatch had done anything deserving of that sum, all they had to do was follow Joonmyun around for a few moments.
But it was the few moments that really counted, he supposed.
“Can’t we, like, expose them for corruption or something?” Joonmyun questions weakly, biting his thumbnail to keep himself occupied as he thinks.
“Says the man caught with not one but two prostitutes in the same day?” Minseok scoffs.
“They’re not hookers,” Joonmyun bites out in return, forgoing sitting for sprawling out with his back on the bed.
“Do you pay them?”
“Not with money,” Joonmyun starts, but Minseok cuts him off with an annoyed sound hissing through the receiver. “I don’t care to know the details,” Minseok grates out.
Both men are silent for a moment. Joonmyun can hear the slight rustling of what he assumes to be bedsheets on the other end of the call. He raises an arm over his eyes, willing himself to wake up from this horrible dream.
Except it’s not a dream, and it’s all of his own doing. The sound of Minseok’s breathing still fills up the otherwise silent phone line.
“What are we gonna do, hyung?” Joonmyun finally says nearly inaudibly, squeezing his eyes shut tight.
“I’m about to do more for you than I probably should,” Minseok sounds tired and Joonmyun feels a twist of guilt and regret in his stomach. “I’m going to think of a solution to this. We need to avoid a scandal, since I’m assuming you want to keep your cushy job.”
Joonmyun nods before realizing Minseok can’t see him. “Right, of course.”
Minseok sighs and the sound rings in Joonmyun’s ears. “Thanks, hyung,” Joonmyun says after a moment.
“Don’t thank me yet, neither of us may have jobs by the end of the week.”
--
Sleep doesn’t come to Joonmyun after Minseok’s phone call. He checks his email and stares at the pictures Dispatch had attached as proof. If anger could somehow materialize in front of his eyes, Joonmyun would’ve burned a hole straight through his smartphone’s screen. And he supposes if he makes up some lie about how they’re just friends, Dispatch will go ahead and publish it to see what the public has to say about that. Wonderful.
He spends a while doing sit-ups on the floor in attempt to quell his frustration, sweat sticking his shirt to his back despite his high rise’s perfect temperature setting.
Finally resigned to clean himself at 7:15, he takes a shower, spending extra time simply standing under the warm spray of his pressure controlled showerhead. Joonmyun really enjoyed his life, he decided as he stood there. He really liked his job, his apartment, his way of life. But something was going to change, and soon. As he watches the soap bubbles collect and flow down the drain at his feet, a sense of powerlessness starts to overwhelm him the longer he stands there. Trying to shake the feeling, he turns off the shower, grabbing a towel to dry himself before padding back to his bedroom.
Joonmyun dresses in black slacks and a button up dress shirt out of habit, eating a small breakfast of toast and a peach shortly afterwards, carefully preparing coffee with the ideal ratio of grounds to water. Minseok finally calls him back at 7:48. Joonmyun scrambles to answer his cellphone after the second ring.
“Joonmyun,” Minseok breathes out. “I have a plan. Well, I have a tentative plan.”
“Just tell me Minseok,” Joonmyun replies, gripping the edge of his granite counter with his left hand, mug of coffee left temporarily forgotten in front of him.
“My, well, friend, he suggested that maybe… maybe you’re getting married and -“
Joonmyun lets out a strangled sound against his will. “I’m what?”
“Just listen, okay?” Minseok snaps in response. “This sounds fucking ridiculous but it’s the only thing I could think of, okay? If you were planning on getting married we could spin the story that the two girls were friends of yours or friends of hers. Then it’d look like you were picking out an engagement ring, and maybe looking for a fancy hotel with a nice restaurant to propose to her in.”
“That hotel did have a nice restaurant, with a renowned chef,” Joonmyun informs Minseok quickly, corners of his mouth pulling in a smile. “Min hyung, you’re a genius.”
“Well, it was mostly Lu Han, and -“
“Your friend happened to be available for talking before 8 in the morning?”
Minseok pauses for a moment before quipping back, “Well, he’s a very good friend.”
“A good friend indeed I suppose,” Joonmyun drawls, corners of his mouth crinkling up in a smirk.
“Do you want to know the rest of the plan or what?” Minseok snaps. Joonmyun can hear the impatient edge to his words.
“Lay it on me hyung.”
“Please never say that again, ever,” Minseok groans. “You’ll have to actually get married for this plan to work. Airtight, perfect, picturesque marriage.”
A frown works itself to Joonmyun’s face, brow creasing. “How am I going to find someone who’d marry me on such short notice?” He knows none of the girls he’s ever dated - or given gifts in exchange for well, certain favors - would be willing to marry him.
“Here’s the catch,” Minseok starts, “Lu Han knows a girl. She’s a really pretty girl, studying at Hongik now, from China. I don’t know many other details, just that she wants to become a Korean citizen, and obviously marriage would expedite this procedure. We haven’t talked to her yet, but we could set up a meeting for later today, even.”
“He knows her well?” Joonmyun questions, finger tracing along a line in the pattern of the granite. “They’re fairly close,” Minseok answers, “he was her TA for her Korean language class, but you could say they sort of hit it off. I’ve met her more than a few times as well.”
Joonmyun hums into the receiver. His mind was working a mile a minute - he wanted to keep his job, sure, but was it worth it to chain himself to some girl he would barely know? And what about the future divorce settlement, would he lose a lot?
But then again, his career would surely be dead if word of his… activities did get out. Nowhere would want to hire him. Government work was practically out of the question. Ah, the pluses and minuses of working for the Korean government.
“I’m free to meet with her today, I haven’t got any plans,” Joonmyun finally replies.
“Good,” Minseok answers, almost too chipper considering Joonmyun’s current status. “I’ll text you the details later.”
He sets his phone down, and takes a sip of his coffee. His nose wrinkles up in disgust when the lukewarm bitterness registers on his tastebuds.
--
Tao wakes up with an unsuppressed groan as her phone noisily rings under her pillow. Recognizing Lu Han’s special ringtone, she answers just before it cuts to voicemail.
“Hello?” she answers, voice gravelly from sleep deprivation.
“Good morning Princess Peach!” Lu Han blares happily in her ear. She groans again, rolling over away from the window in her room. Sunlight was peeking in through the slats in her blinds.
“What time is it even?” she asks, pulling her comforter over her head.
“It’s approximately 8 in the morning!”
“And why are you calling me?”
Lu Han tsks in her ear, “be nice to ge, okay?”
“Well ge,” she drawls, her voice starting to normalize to its normal cottony intonation, “I went to bed approximately 4 hours ago, so.”
“Why so late? Were you out partying with Jongae again?” She giggles softly. “No, I hit some inspiration for this painting I’ve been working on.” She lazily brings a hand to rub at her eye, noting the red paint that still remained on her fingertips. Having had no motivation to shower or wash up last night, she sort of just disrobed and fell into bed. It was nearing the end of the semester, so naturally projects were piled high for her.
“Well, I wanted to call you right away because I have a proposition for you?”
“A proposition?” she asks with a mock gasp, “and what would Baozi think of you proposing to me?”
His laughter fills her ear and she smiles at the sound, eyes crinkling up even as they’re closed. “He would probably murder me I think.”
“I would probably murder you first, ge,” she answers teasingly. “What did you want to talk about though?”
“I think we should meet in person for this,” he says after a beat, voice sounding sort of tense. “Why ge? Is it serious?”
“Well…” he trails off. “It has to do with you becoming a Korean citizen.” She gasps audibly, “tell me!” she pleads, sitting up in bed.
“I really think we need to meet up to talk about this, Tao.”
“Fine,” she concedes with a yawn, settling back down into the warm cocoon of her sheets. “When and where?”
He hums as if thinking, before answering, “How about at the Caffe Bene in Hongdae at around 11?” She nods unconsciously, “Then I could sleep more. Which one though?”
“The one by exit 9.”
“Mmkay,” Tao agrees sleepily, “I’ll see you then.”
A nervous excitement fills Tao, making her stomach churn a bit. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, she quickly sets an alarm for 9:30 before promptly falling back to sleep as soon as her head hits her pillow.
--
Tao arrives at the café around 11:17, combat boot straps jingling slightly as she enters the door. Unzipping her coat as she looks around quickly, she finds Lu Han and Minseok at a round table with comfortable chairs in the corner of the room.
“You’re late,” Lu Han singsongs as Tao sits to join them. Tao shoots him a withering glance before placing her hands delicately around the mug in front of her. “I assume this is for me?” she asks, glancing up from what she guessed was a sweet potato latte.
“Yup, your favorite,” Minseok smiles at her. “Hopefully it’s not too cold yet.”
Tao hazards a sip, smiling as she places the mug back down, keeping her hands around it for warmth. It was so cold in Seoul in January, and her skinny black jeans weren’t very insulating. “Perfect temperature,” she says. When it was evident Minseok and Lu Han were just going to continue looking at her, she asks, “So, what’d you call me here for? What’s this about citizenship?” she asks, smile overtaking her face.
Minseok fidgets a bit in his armchair while Lu Han tries to smile. His eyes are creepy when he’s like this, Tao notes offhandedly.
“You have to promise not to freak out,” Lu Han starts. Tao quirks an eyebrow up, but says “…okay” after a beat. “You can also say no,” Lu Han continues.
“Just tell me!” Tao’s basically bouncing in her seat. See, her goals in life right now were simple, mainly: 1: obtain her bachelor’s degree and 2: become a Korean citizen.
“You see,” Minseok says, “our friend is in, well, sort of a bind? And you’re also in need of help becoming a citizen as well, so we, well, we thought maybe you could help each other out?”
Tao takes another sip of her coffee. “What kind of bind? And help each other out how?”
Minseok looks down at his hands, writhing in his lap. “Well…” he begins. “Our friend is a rich politician…” Lu Han interjects where Minseok trails off, “But he’s young, and sort of attractive, so don’t worry. He got caught in a sort of compromising position and we thought of a way to explain it all away so he can keep his job.”
“But?” Tao asks, curious as she leans her face in her hand, elbow perched on the table.
“But…” Lu Han laughs awkwardly. “You’d um. You’d be getting married to him?”
“What?” Tao squawks before narrowing her eyes, sitting back straight in her chair. “Are you trying to arrange me with someone?” she hisses.
“Well, no. Well, yeah, kind of,” Lu Han answers lamely, hand rubbing at the back of his neck.
“You are both very aware of how I feel about arranged marriages,” she says icily. Minseok scoots back in his chair, further away from her, almost imperceptibly. Tao herself was supposed to be in an arranged marriage already. Supposed being the operative word because as soon as Tao received Korean citizenship, she could live her life out in Seoul and never have to go back to China and face her parents and their crushing expectations again.
“But!,” Lu Han says, voice raised slightly, “after two years you get your Korean citizenship, and then bam! You can divorce or whatever.”
Minseok nods next to Lu Han.
“I…” Tao starts, feeling tears well up in her eyes. Stupid. “I can’t believe you’d even think I’d be okay with this…”
“Taozi,” Lu Han starts, leaning in to brush her cheek with his hand. She recoils from his touch. “We just thought, no really I thought, maybe, it’d be worth it to spend two years with some guy in exchange for a lifetime of freedom? More or less?”
Tao shakes her head. “I don’t know, ge. I don’t think…”
“Do you want to meet him?” Minseok says suddenly. “He’s coming at 11:30.”
Tao stands up right out of her chair. “Most certainly not,” she says, grabbing her purse and slinging it on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I can’t,” she almost sobs. Lu Han stands up to stop her, but she’s already halfway to the door by the time Minseok grabs Lu Han’s wrist to stop him.
Tao almost stomps into a man approximately the same height as her and dressed in a grey pea coat and black slacks as he stills to hold the door open for her. “Thanks,” she mutters, making her way out and down the street once again.
Joonmyun shoots a glance at her retreating form before noticing Minseok sitting at a table with Lu Han standing up. “Hey,” he greets warmly, sitting down in the seat Tao just vacated. “Sorry I’m a bit early,” he says, glancing at the now closed door. “I wonder what happened to her?”
“That was Tao,” Lu Han whimpers, practically falling into a seated position in his chair.
--
Tao trudges back home through the slush, barely looking up from the path in front of her feet. She was mad, fuming, over the fact that Lu Han, the person she was closest to in Korea and who she would’ve considered her best friend, had suggested she marry someone she’d never met before. For that guy’s convenience. It was like the world was playing some kind of huge joke on her that she wasn’t privy to. She snorts, drawing a look from a woman carrying her tiny dog in an equally tiny pink sweater. Tao pays no mind, wrapped up in her own thoughts, used to getting sideways glances from curious passerbys over her height and her choice of dress and amount of piercing holes in her head. Whatever.
Seoul’s sky was a light grey that day, not a single ray of sunshine anywhere in sight, evidently having hidden after the morning. Her cheeks were cold, tinged pink, tears long dried up in the cold air swirling around her huddled form. She felt so betrayed by Lu Han; she still couldn’t even believe what he had suggested.
“…two years…” replayed like a broken record in her mind, and while it was tempting, an easy solution to her problem, Tao wasn’t about to change her entire life for some guy she’d never even met.
She could handle herself on her own.
Finally making it back to her apartment, she shrugs off her coat, hanging it on the hook next to the door before fumbling out of her boots. Her socks weren’t wet, but her feet were still cold as she wiggles her toes, hoping to generate some heat.
She makes the quick trip to her kitchenette, complete in approximately two strides, huffing when she notices she’s out of fruit. She really didn’t feel like going back out today. Sighing and allowing herself the pleasure of eating something not healthy after the morning she’d had, she opens a bag of jollypong, settling down on the small couch in her room.
Tao’s apartment basically was one room, with a separate room housing a small bathroom. Her bed was on the other side of a screen complete with water-color inspired flowers, and there was a small closet on the wall the head of her bed was against as well. It served its purpose for her needs, anyway.
She idly plays around on her phone, checking her Weibo and Meipai before placing the phone on the floor next to her couch. She rolls the top of the jollypong up after deciding she’d munched enough, that following her phone on the floor, before curling up into herself for a nap.
Tao awakens disoriented, a few stray kernels of jollypong falling from her chest as she sits up. She briefly wonders why she’d woken up before hearing her phone chirp “katalk” four times in a row. She smiles down at her phone as she scrolls up to read the messages from Jongae. Deciding that yes, she probably did need to get out of her house, and yes, chicken and beer would be a great mood booster, she quickly thumbs out a positive response to Jongae’s invitation. She pads to her bathroom, moaning quietly at the state of her hair and makeup from her bout of crying and subsequent nap when she catches herself in the mirror. Quickly shucking her clothes, she hops in her small shower stall, turning the hot water up as far as it can go.
--
Joonmyun sits at home, idly staring at a blank text message composition screen. He toyed with the idea of texting the girls he’d been caught with, even just a “hi, we’re probably done, but don’t tell anyone” just to have someone to talk to. Their whole lifestyle was built around being discrete, so Joonmyun wasn’t too worried about them outing him to the media or anything.
Joonmyun feels like a slob, but he supposes clothing imitates feelings, or maybe it was life imitates art? He sighs, placing his phone on the coffee table in front of him, hiking his sweatpants-clad legs onto the table as well, taking a long pull from the beer he’d been nursing.
Honestly, he feels scared, so scared about how the end of this week would turn out. Squeezing his eyes shut as if to try to will the thoughts away - he and Minseok and Lu Han had contemplated new solutions for a good portion of the afternoon, to no avail - he decides to finish the twelve pack in his fridge. Maybe then he’d be blissfully not thinking.
--
Tao wakes up to a mouth that tastes like roadkill on a bed that is decidedly not her own. She groans, rolling over to crack open her eyes, and comes face to face with a sleeping Jongae. Falling to the floor with a yelp and their shared blanket, she startles Jongae awake as well.
“Good morning, Taozi~” Jongae singsongs, sitting up to rub at her eyes.
“Why were we on your twin bed,” Tao moans, curling back up into the blanket she’s trapped in after helplessly flailing around, unable to become unstuck. She looks down at a shirt that is not hers as well.
“And why am I wearing your shirt?”
“I took you home last night after we drank for some amazing sex, are you saying you don’t remember?” Jongae grins, stretching her arms above her head, cracking her neck.
“Where’s my bra,” Tao bemoans, ignoring her friend.
“We had sex. You don’t believe me?”
“Shut up,” Tao practically cries, Jongae’s voice sounding too loud and grating this early in the morning.
“I took care of you after you practically vomited on yourself, you shouldn’t be telling me to shut up,” Jongae chides, scooting to the side of the bed, legs hanging over the side as she looks down at Tao.
“Thanks,” Tao mumbles, turning her head and receiving a face full of fluffy blanket.
“Do you wanna sleep more?” Jongae asks with a chuckle, voice a little more gentle. “Please,” Tao barely gets out, before Jongae’s picking her up bridal style and laying her back down.
“Christ you’re heavy,” Jongae whines, rubbing her back after she’s all but flopped Tao back onto her small bed.
“Screw you,” Tao says eloquently before falling back to sleep.
The next time Tao wakes up, she sees a glass of water and some ibuprofen on Jongae’s night stand. Gratefully taking all four (liver be damned), she sits up and calls for Jongae to let her know she’s awake again. After Jongae replies back that she’s in the kitchen, Tao regrettably leaves the comfort of Jongae’s bed, following her voice.
“Good afternoon, sunshine,” Jongae smiles up from a textbook and a cup of coffee. “Want some coffee Taozi?”
“Yes,” Tao practically has stars in her eyes, headache almost forgotten. “I love you Jongae,” she says, eyes curving up as she smiles. “I know,” Jongae singsongs, hopping up to grab Tao a mug as Tao takes a seat at the chair next to Jongae’s.
“By the way, you got a few messages while you were sleeping,” Jongae says, pointing to her phone and placing a mug of hot coffee in front of Tao, “they seemed urgent.”
“You’ve been reading my phone messages?” Tao frowns, shooting what she hopes to be a menacing look at Jongae, but the other girl’s lips curve further into a smirk as she raises her hands defensively.
“They pop up on the screen and I could see them. It’s not like I can read Mandarin anyway.”
Tao unlocks her phone with a quick swipe of her thumb - a few messages from Lu Han via kakao telling her he’s sorry and he still loves her (which she rolls her eyes at), but her veins turn icy when she sees a text message from her mom.
From: Mother
Daughter. I sent you an email yesterday. You have not responded yet. Please do.
She snorts at the “please”. Was her mom attempting to soften her command? Yawning, she locks her phone, placing it down on the table.
“Where are my clothes from last night?” Tao asks. “I put them in the wash and they’re drying now,” Jongae smiles up at Tao. Tao can’t help but return her smile with a warm one of her own. “Have I ever told you I love you?” Tao giggles.
“Hmm,” Jongae fake contemplates, bringing her index finger to her chin, “I think just this morning after we woke up in each other’s arms.”
Tao rolls her eyes while Jongae bursts out laughing, booming chuckles filling her small apartment.
--
Tao starts up her laptop when she’s finally home, stomach pleasantly full of delivery jjajangmyun that she’d shared at Jongae’s. She checks her email mechanically, eyes falling on an email from her mother with a gasp. She had almost forgotten about that. She tentatively clicks it open after going through all her other emails.
Dear Tao,
Hello. Please confirm that you will graduate in August. We need to start the plans for your wedding, and this will be easier once I know when you are coming home. Also, we can buy your plane ticket soon. Wufan says he does not hear from you very often. You should make more of an effort to get to know each other so that your marriage is smoother.
Please reply soon.
Mother
Tao snorts out loud, not sure where to even start addressing first in the email. Her pointer hovers over the reply button, before she realizes how easy it would be to continue ignoring her mother from another country.
Archiving the email, closing the browser, and snapping her laptop shut, she rubs at her closed eyes with the back of her palms. She has a long night of reading ahead of her.
--
Around 11pm it hits Tao that her parents expected her back in China next August, and that she also technically had no reason for her visa extension to go past that date, either. She tries to push the thought out of her mind, but fat tears make their way down her face, wetting the page she was still trying to read despite her clouded vision.
Tossing the textbook on the opposite couch cushion, she brings her knees to her chest, worrying at her bottom lip with her upper teeth. If she didn’t have some sort of gainful employer who would sponsor a work visa, or if she wasn’t in grad school or something similar, she’d have to leave Korea. She’d have no other choice.
Reaching for her phone, she quickly sends a kakao message to Lu Han.
To: Lu Ge light of my life~ <3
I’m sorry. I’m not really mad at you or Minseok ge.
To: Lu Ge light of my life~ <3
Can we talk on the phone? Are you sleeping?
Balancing her phone on the top of her bent knee, she tries to take deep, calming breaths as she waits for his reply.
Her phone’s ringtone almost startles her into dropping her phone - she had been expecting a kakaotalk instead of an actual call. It is sort of late.
“Hello?” she answers tentatively, fingers digging into her shin where her hand rests.
“Taozi,” Lu Han breathes out, as if unbelieving Tao really answered the phone. “I couldn’t help but call you, I hope it’s not too late for you. When I saw you called Minseok ge I just thought it was so cute. I call him that too sometimes.”
Tao smiles a bit when she hears Minseok call softly from the background, “Don’t say embarrassing things!” The muscles in her back relax a bit.
“Ge, I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” she says softly, but Lu Han cuts in almost immediately, “Tao, no it should be me to say sorry. I wasn’t thinking correctly and I just ah… I was looking for a solution to the problem. I didn’t realize what’d it make you think.”
“No, I,” she tries to interrupt him, but he’s sort of babbling about what a dumb idea it was in the first place.
“But Lu Han,” she says, voice strained, “it was a good idea. Is a good idea.”
“And - “ he stops, probably processing her statement. “Wait, what?”
“I wanna…” she trails off, chewing at her thumb nail before replying again, “I wanna try. To meet him. Just to… just to see, you know?”
“Tao, you know you don’t have to,” he explains gently, and she almost wishes he was here with her on her couch instead of on the other end of the phone line, so he could hold her and pet her head, whisper reassurances to her.
“I know, but, my mom emailed me today,” she says, voice cracking as she tries to keep in her tears.
“Oh Taozi,” he sighs, before mumbling something to Minseok quietly. “How about we set you guys up for dinner tomorrow?”
Sniffling, she nods her head before replying, “that sounds good, yeah.”
“Do you want Minseok to come with you?”
She scrunches up her nose, imagining meeting this government dude (her future husband, her mind helpfully supplies) with Minseok fretting at her side. “No, I think that’s okay,” she says, after a beat, “Thank you, Lu Han.”
“Anything for you, Tao,” he breathes out and she giggles into the phone receiver. “I’ll text you the details soon anyway. Minseok will pencil you into Joonmyun’s schedule.”
“That’s his name?”
“Yes,” he confirms, “Kim Joonmyun.”
“Okay...” she says trailing off, gnawing at her bottom lip in thought.
“Remember, it doesn’t have to… doesn’t have to be anything. You know that, right?”
“Right,” she confirms, before they bid each other goodnight.
After some intense searching on her phone, she finally finds a picture of Kim Joonmyun, on the homepage for some government financial office (she doesn’t recognize the fancy words). He stands out, young and chipper in his picture, among his other co-workers, none of whom look younger than 40.
“Interesting,” Tao murmurs, rubbing her thumb along his cheek, glowing from her phone screen, before realizing what she’s doing, tossing her phone to a pile of clothes on her floor.
It takes her a long time to fall asleep.
--
Tao all but flops into her seat Monday morning next to Jongae. Chanmi isn’t there yet.
“What’s up, Tao?” Jongae asks, shooting a look over at Tao. “You look angry or something.”
“Don’t I always look angry?” she asks dryly, procuring a notebook and pen from her backpack. “Hmmm,” Jongae muses, tapping a long index finger to her chin. Her nails are painted a soft purple-grey color, Tao notes absently. “You look murderous usually, but in a cute sort of way?”
Tao snorts while Jongae continues, “but today you just look like pissed at the world. Is something up?”
Tao fidgets in her seat as more people file into their class, desks forming a U-shape around the teacher’s desk and board behind that. Tao releases her lower lip she had been subconsciously gnawing at. “I’ll tell you and Channie on Wednesday okay? We can go to a café after Modern Painting ends.”
Jongae hums in agreement, smiling when Chanmi stumbles in just after the professor. “One day she’ll come on time” she murmurs, a bemused grin on her face as Chanmi’s lanky frame bends in a few apologetic bows, her braided pigtails bobbing along with her.
“Perhaps,” Tao agrees, as Chanmi hastily takes the open seat to Jongae’s left.
--
Tao spends her afternoon Monday worrying about everything - what’s she’s wearing, what she’s even doing here, what if they hate each other right off the bat, what if he’s actually an old ugly creep and ugh.
An hour early for their dinner still, Tao plops herself down on a comfy chair in a bubble tea cafe before calling Lu Han, biting at the flesh next to her thumbnail. Fidgeting, she glances down to make sure her top isn’t too revealing or scandalous. She’s wearing a plain, grey, fitted sweater atop a pair of tight black jeans, and they don’t even have any holes in them. She opted for Doc Martens today as well, but whatever, it’s cold outside. She even ditched her dark purple lipstick for a more “socially-acceptable” rose color. Absently running her fingers along the bottom seam of her sweater, she tries to take deep breaths.
This didn’t have to be anything, she reminds herself, I could say no.
Slowly sipping a green bean bubble tea, she waits until 5:45, before tossing her empty cup in the trash on her way out to the restaurant.
Here goes nothing.
Tao trails into the restaurant hesitantly at 5:57. She tries to put on a brave face as she marches up to the server waiting at the stand.
“Table for one?” the girl asks happily, smiling at Tao. “I’m actually meeting someone,” she starts, before the server cuts back in. “Oh you’re here with Kim Joonmyun?” Tao nods in reply.
“Right this way!” she says, guiding Tao to a table with a man she vaguely recognizes. At least she has someone accompanying her on her way to the next few years of her life. Suppressing a shudder, she thanks the server and sits, finally facing Joonmyun.
“Hi,” he says with a small smile. “Hello,” she greets back, hands grabbing her own thighs under the table, fingers digging into the tensed muscle. What was she even doing?
Her eyes flit around the restaurant, noting the fancy decor, the comfortable and nicely spaced seating, and the fact that there’s not that many other people around.
“I thought if there weren’t a lot of people somewhere the restaurant usually wasn’t good,” spills out of her mouth before she can stop it. She cringes, thinking about how Yiying had told her before how she gets when she’s nervous. Defensive. Abrasive. Prickly.
But he laughs anyway, an almost ugly smile lighting up his delicate features. He opens his mouth to say something else, but then the server’s there with a pitcher of water.
“Anything else to drink?” she asks, and Tao definitely wants a drink, maybe something strong like American whiskey because there is no way she’s going to make it through this dinner in one piece -
“How about a red wine?” he asks, looking up at Tao for approval.
“That’d be lovely,” she says with a smile, and well, that’s that. “We’ll take the house red if you could, thank you,” he says to their server with a warm smile. And she wonders if he’s like that with everyone, smiles and talks to people like he’s flirting with them, but she decides now is not exactly an opportune moment to ask.
Every bit of social etiquette seems to fly out the window because Tao can’t even think of a single other thing to say to the man (her future husband) sitting across from her. “Um,” she states eloquently. The smile stays on his face, still so warm.
“Let’s look at the menu, shall we?” he asks, and she just nods dumbly, moving to open the menu in front of her.
The restaurant looked like a normal if not slightly upscale place, but upon glancing over the prices on the menu, Tao stifles a gasp. She had been brought up in wealth, sure, but her past three and a half years as a student have made her a little more thrifty.
“Are you trying to buy my hand?” she asks casually, smiling behind her menu when she hears Joonmyun choke on a breath. “I just like this place,” he says, small pout on his face when she hazards a glance up. It’s kind of cute? Interesting.
They fall into an easy conversation after that, Tao having loosened up a bit (perhaps thanks in part to the wine), and before she realizes it, they’ve talked about themselves and she’s learned a lot, but they still have yet to address the reason they’re both there, eating together.
Joonmyun orders dessert, cheesecake (one of Tao’s favorites), and she decides to take the plunge.
“So why are we getting married?” she asks, and the easy smile he’d been wearing all night falters for a moment. “You might as well tell me the truth,” she adds, “no lies between couples or something, right?”
“Well,” he starts, fork cutting his slice into uniform pieces, “you know I’m a government official,” she nods. “I’m pretty highly ranked so to say? So scandals and what not are very sensitive. Essentially… I was photographed with two different women in one day.”
Tao arches a brow. “You’re dating two women?” she asks, taking a bite of her dessert.
“No, no,” he says, mouth quirked up to the side as he thinks. Probably about how to soften his words, how to sound the best.
“So they were hookers?” she cuts in, and he almost chokes on a bite.
“What is with you people? They’re not hookers they were just…”
“This is so cliché, you’re a sugar daddy? Oh my god.”
Before he has a chance to speak again, their server comes over to refill their water, and like that, the topic is dropped.
Tao makes her way home on the subway, mulling over her night. Joonmyun might be the sort of man she would allow to take her out on a second date, if only to hear him fumble his way around her, him not expecting her to be so… her. But there wouldn’t be a second date, but a fucking marriage instead. Tao gulped as she tried her best to remember that.
--
When Tao finally gets home, after a short contemplation about her life, she decides she should probably get her best friend’s input on her situation.
She calls Yiying after changing into her pajamas, washing her face, and brushing her teeth. Tao burrows into the comforter, propping her back up against her headboard as the phone rings the familiar Skype dial tone. Yiying finally answers and Tao can close her eyes and this, this is what feels like home.
“Tao,” she chirps happily, “how’ve you been?”
“Yiying,” she breathes out, falling into the soft lull of their conversation. But then she remembers what she had called for.
“So, you know how I want to stay in Korea…” she trails off, hears Yiying huff on the other end. “And leave me forever? Yes, of course.”
Tao giggles into the phone receiver. “I think I found a solution?”
“Oh?” Yiying asks, making a surprised sound, “what is it?”
“I’m,” Tao swallows, “getting married to a Korean guy?”
Yiying’s melodic laughter fills Tao’s ear. “Does that mean I can’t kiss you the next time I see you?” Yiying asks. The corners of Tao’s mouth pull into a smirk as she imagines the slight pout that had undoubtedly taken residence on her friend’s face.
“Yiyiiing,” she whines, fighting a smile as she’s comforted by Yiying’s joking, “I’m being serious.”
“What?” she asks, finally registering, “you’re serious?”
“If I get married, I can get my citizenship in like, two years. Then I don’t have to worry about being deported while looking for a job or something.”
“I don’t understand how you’re taking this so… nonchalantly,” Yiying says after a few beats of silence. “A marriage is a huge undertaking. And you’re not even dating anyone?”
“A friend of a friend needs to get married, quickly,” she explains, looking down at her fingers following the patterns of her pajama bottoms.
“This sounds like a fucking drama plot,” Yiying breathes out, and Tao giggles.
“Two years?” she asks, and Tao nods, before making a small affirming noise. “Two years.”
“I guess… if it’s what you want, I can’t really convince you out of it, no?”
“Probably not,” Tao says with a wry grin, smirking.
“For the record, I think you’re insane.”
--
Tao doesn’t take long to weigh the pros and cons, because she honestly would rather do anything than move back to China and get married to that douchebag her parents had set her up with, just to be shipped off like another trinket lining the glass cabinets of their sitting room.
She pulls up Joonmyun’s name on her kakao friends list, sending him a few quick messages:
to: Kim Joonmyun
can we meet somewhere private tmrw?
to: Kim Joonmyun
…4 talking I mean
from: Kim Joonmyun
Kakao_emoticon_angel
Tao snorts. She hadn’t expected Joonmyun to be like that, playful. But she supposes she’d figure him out soon enough anyway.
to: Kim Joonmyun
Kakao_emoticon_face_punch
from: Kim Joonmyun
By talking you mean beating me up, don’t you? D:
from: Kim Joonmyun
But if you wanted to stop by my office tomorrow, that would be private.
to: Kim Joonmyun
U have ur own office? Swanky~
to: Kim Joonmyun
Just tell me where & when. I have class until 2 tmrw.
--
And this is how Tao finds herself in Joonmyun’s office the next day, perched awkwardly on a chair in front of his desk as he finishes a call about taxes and fiscal quarters and… a lot of other stuff Tao doesn’t care to understand.
“I want to be proposed to. And I want you to swear off those whores you were seeing,” Tao says when Joonmyun finally hangs up the phone, a flick of her wrist and he’s choking on air.
“Tao, you can’t just say that here!” he implores, glancing at the door (which Tao had definitely shut on her way in, anyway).
“Sorry,” she concedes, smiling.
“But you’ll do it?” he asks, blinking, almost unbelieving.
“Yes,” she breathes, hands shaking slightly where they’re drawn up in her lap.
“Should we just go now? And get the certificate?”
“I just said I wanted to be proposed to,” she pouts, “and what would your mother think about you not having a ceremony? Are you ashamed of me or something?” she asks petulantly, tilting her head to the side trying not to grin as she watches him flounder for words.
“You don’t even know her and you’re already siding with her,” he grumbles. “I just thought we could get it done sooner rather than later.”
“It takes time to plan a wedding,” Tao points out, “at least a few months. Maybe when I have some time off from school but before graduation?”
“Hm,” he replies, lips drawn up in thought. “It’ll be small though, right?” Joonmyun asks, a hopeful sparkle in his eye. “Well…” Tao trails off, not able to fight back her smile this time. “Sure.”
“Should we start planning stuff out now?” he asks.
“Slow down,” she says with a laugh, “you haven’t even proposed yet.”
He purses his lips as if he wants to say something more, but then schools his face back to a more neutral expression. “What?” she asks amusedly. She wasn’t quite attuned to his facial cues yet, so she wasn’t sure if she’d said something wrong.
“No, I just… ah,” he stops for a second, looking up to meet her eye with a brilliant smile, “I really need to thank you for all this. I can’t even explain how much you’re helping me out. You’re sort of saving my life.”
Tao feels her face color as she tries to brush him off, hand waving with a small laugh. (So cheesy.)
“You’re probably getting the sour end of the deal, having to stick around with me for two years.
“I doubt that,” he says with a smile that she (somewhat) easily returns.
“Should we go pick out a ring tonight?” he asks after a beat, and she smiles.
“I’d love to.”
--
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3