[for lulai] Kept Looking Forward On Paths Sideways [2/3]
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3
Following their last class on Wednesday, Tao, Chanmi, and Jongae pile into the Hello Kitty cafe near their university. After ordering a few drinks and a waffle to share, Tao lets Chanmi go ahead and pick the seating.
She flops into a booth after mulling over the choices, grinning up at Tao and Jongae. Jongae rolls her eyes. “Why always so picky?” she asks, plopping down across from Chanmi. Tao takes the seat next to Chanmi.
“I wanted the seat with the best kitty visage point,” Chanmi says with a smile, head bobbing slightly to the quiet background music, eyes flitting around cute pictures lining the walls.
“On the prowl for pussy, huh? I see you, Chanmi,” Jongae says with a wicked smirk, and Tao bursts out laughing. She wipes at the corners of her eyes for stray eyeliner-tears when Chanmi hits Jongae on the arm.
“Whatever, this is just the closest I can ever get to cats I suppose,” she says with a frown, her awkward long limbs sinking into the pink pleather bench.
“And Jongae,” Tao giggles, reaching for a fork. “Hey!” Jongae cuts in indignantly, “you’re sort of feline too.” Tao looks her dead in the eye and imitates a purr. Chanmi almost falls out of her seat laughing, and a group of high school aged girls scuttle over a table further from them.
“Anyway,” Jongae cuts in, chewing thoughtfully on a piece of waffle, “I heard our little Taozi had some news to tell us,” she grins, gaze catching Tao’s. And Tao, Tao is suddenly so nervous. She was hoping to put off this part of the conversation for a while.
“Ooh?” Chanmi asks, eyes wide as she sips a latte, dusted with pink sugar.
“Yeah,” Tao answers, eyes down as she takes a few sips of her own drink. “Guys, I have something important to tell you,” she says after a moment.
“And please don’t like… freak out or something?” she adds nervously, fingers absently twisting at an earring.
“What is it?” Jongae asks, blinking in confusion.
“I um…” Tao trails off, unsure of how to voice her thoughts in the best way possible, maybe she should -
“I’m getting married,” she blurts out rapidly, before freezing. Jongae drops the fork she was holding, and it clatters noisily on the plate. Nobody says anything.
She had at least expected Chanmi of all people to congratulate her with loud whoops, but both she and Jongae’s faces are just well… shocked. Both of them stare at Tao with their mouths wide open, and suddenly Tao feels self-conscious, because here they are, more or less mute.
“Can either of you like, say something?” she prompts, looking down trying to blink the tears from her eyes. It wouldn’t look very good to cry when she’s announcing that she’s engaged, right?
“Uhhh,” Jongae cuts in, stealing a glance at Chanmi who looks equally like a deer in headlights, “I had expected an ‘I have a boyfriend!’ announcement to come before the ‘I’m getting married’ one.”
“So who is the guy?” Chanmi cuts in when Tao doesn’t react to Jongae. “Were you keeping him a secret?” she asks, eyebrows wiggling suggestively. Tao giggles, a bit relieved.
“We were kind of keeping it a secret,” she lies, running her finger along the rim of her mug, grimacing slightly at the oxblood lipstick collected on her fingertip now, “he’s sort of a government official?”
Jongae lets out a low whistle. “So he’s a sugar daddy? Where’d you meet him?”
“Jongae!” Tao whines, giving Jongae a light shove, “I met him through Lu Han and Minseok… he’s not that much older, only 27.”
“Only 27,” Jongae rolls her eyes, “still, I can’t believe you had a boyfriend all this time! Wait, how long has it been?”
“Um...” Tao trails off. She should’ve expected this part of the interrogation. “A little over a year?”
“You didn’t tell us you were dating someone for over a year?” Jongae asks bluntly, eyebrows furrowing in anger.
“I’m sorry?” Tao offers. Jongae huffs in reply, but Chanmi seems to be taking this whole situation better than Jongae is. “Can we meet him sometime?” Chanmi asks, “also, when is the wedding?”
Tao tries not to splutter in reply. “Of course you can meet him,” she waves Chanmi off with a quick hand motion, “and we haven’t picked a date. But maybe May or June.”
“So far away,” Chanmi gasps. “Wait, that’s before graduation too!”
“Well, we need time to plan and I wanted some time off around the date and this month is too soon, but we wanted to get married before August and yeah…” she trails off. She can feel Jongae’s disapproving stare on her without looking up.
“But anyway, we just decided very recently. But I guess planning won’t take that long. He’ll just have to do whatever I want, anyway.” Tao says with a small laugh.
“Decided? Not that he proposed to you? You both just decided to get married?” Tao feels interrogated under Jongae’s intense stare. She quickly retorts, “He did propose to me!”
“How? How? How did he propose to you?” Chanmi asks excitedly.
Tao’s mind travels back to the night before, when Joonmyun had helped her choose a nice, simple banded silver ring with a fairly sizeable diamond. She didn’t really want to be proposed to, she was mostly kidding, but he had anyway, walking along the dead January trees next to a stretch of the Han River, snow crunching under their heels. Tao had wanted to complain about the cold, but she figured she’d better hold her tongue. It’s not like it meant anything.
“It was romantic, just embarrassing to tell,” Tao pouts. Chanmi huffs in protest. Tao hopes her friends drop it, but she can feel Jongae’s unconvinced stare glued to her without meeting her eyes.
“I’m sorry guys, just, he works for the government and stuff, we were trying to keep it quiet, until we were official.” Tao looks up to meet Jongae’s scowl (saw that coming). “I’m not forgiving you yet,” she says with a sniff, “but I’m happy for you.”
Tao figures that’s at least a start.
--
Joonmyun nervously straightens his tie, unnecessarily considering it’s already knotted in a pristine knot, fabric smooth, stopping just above his belt. Minseok had planned this press conference for him, a few reporters and cameramen in the audience. While Joonmyun himself’s not necessarily a big deal, government scandals always are.
“I’ve brought you here today to clear up some unfortunate misconceptions,” he says, smile tight on his face, “a paparazzi was under the impression they had caught me with two women, and suggested I had relationships with them both.”
A low murmur fills the room, but Joonmyun soldiers on.
“It looked, well, odd to say the least, since I was bringing these two women to a hotel and a jewelry store, but I had good reasons for that. Because I proposed to my girlfriend,” he says, struggling to keep his eyes open as flashes of lights fill the room, a cacophony of camera shutters overwhelming the thudding of his own heart in his chest. “I enlisted her friends to help me pick out a ring and a venue. And she said yes,” he finishes, a shy smile overtaking his face as more clicks and flashes fill the room.
Minseok shoots him a thumbs up from where he’s leaning against the wall in the back, and Joonmyun feels like he can almost breathe again.
--
Tao wasn’t kidding about wanting a ceremony, much to Joonmyun’s distaste, but they find a wedding planner and it’s an excuse to spend more time together, and to really look like a couple. People are watching now that the news is out.
They’re in a bakery now, myriad tiny sample plates of dainty rose color set in front of them containing a rainbow of cakes.
“Do we really need a big cake?” he asks gently when their wedding planner goes back to the kitchen to grab more samples, leaving just the two of them with their tiny forks and equally tiny plates.
“Of course,” she says crossly, taking a bite of a nice strawberry cake. Fluffy. “I want a big western wedding. Cake is a crucial part of this ritual.”
He raises an eyebrow at her, and she giggles at him looking serious behind his wire-framed reading glasses. “Plus I really like cake,” she adds, glancing down at the list of cakes as he laughs out loud.
“You’re really something, Tao.”
“Of course I’m something, what else would I be -” she starts to argue, but stops abruptly when the wedding planner makes her appearance again. Joonmyun just keeps chuckling, and she reins her clenched fist in from where she wanted to (just lightly) punch him in the arm.
--
Tao feels exhausted both mentally and physically, but still drags herself to taekwondo that night. She hadn’t been in a few weeks and was feeling bad about skipping (and also suspecting she may have gained a kilogram or two missing the exercise, but whatever). Between her final semester of university and this whole wedding planning and spending time with Joonmyun business, she’s tired out.
The instructor Sungbin lights up when Tao enters, already stretching on the mat. “Tao,” she chirps, giving a wide smile, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Tao rubs at the back of her neck, ponytail tickling her fingers. “I’ve been super busy, but I’ve been missing kicking ass.” Sungbin’s smile curves into a smirk. “Of course; you’re you,” she replies, easily leaning into her next stretch on the mat. There were never that many people there, and tonight was no different: only 3 others in addition to Tao and Sungbin.
Perhaps Tao didn’t realize how tired she was, but all of the sudden when she was coming down from a full moon kick, she lands sort of funny and almost screams in agony.
“Fucking shit,” she mutters in Mandarin, lying down on the mat. Sungbin rushes over and the other students crowd around her as well.
“What happened?” she asks tightly, slightly out of breath.
“It’s my ankle,” Tao sobs morosely, unable to stop the tears as they stream hot and heavy down her face.
Sungbin and another girl help Tao to a bench on the side. Class is almost ending, so Sungbin decides to just cut it short. “Let’s stretch out and end here tonight, ladies,” she instructs, staying at Tao’s side as the other women filter back to the mat.
“Can you call someone to pick you up?” Sungbin asks. Tao absentmindedly bites at her thumbnail. She could call Joonmyun. Actually probably should.
“Yeah, I can,” she smiles back up at Sungbin. Sungbin, apparently pacified, nods with a murmured “good” before returning back to the mat herself.
Tao takes a breath, grabbing her phone from her bag and dialing Joonmyun’s number.
Tao’s not actually sure if he will answer, not sure what he does at night after work, or if perhaps he was still at work.
He answers after the third ring. “To what do I owe the pleasure, Tao,” he answers warmly. Tao rolls her eyes, sniffling slightly. “Can you come pick me up? I’m at the Athletic building on Hongik.”
“Did something happen?” he asks quickly. “I hurt my ankle, so I don’t really feel like managing the stairs to the subway,” she explains.
“I’m at home now,” he starts and she groans. He was probably a good 40 minutes drive away. “But I’ll leave now. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“Maybe some ibuprofen,” she says. “I can do that,” he says in reply, and Tao smiles at the mental image that pops into her head, him nodding with a concerned look on his face, brows furrowed.
“I’ll just stay inside, so ring me when you get here and I can direct you.”
“Sit tight, darling,” he says, hanging up. Tao scoffs at the dial tone instead.
When he finally arrives, she’s seated on the floor just inside the door of the gym’s entrance. Tao explains to him where she is, and he apparently parks and comes in to find her, eyebrows furrowed in worry as she expected.
“What happened?” he asks, squatting to get a better look at her ankle.
“I sort of landed funny on this one - OW” she cries out in pain when he picks up her ankle in one hand, seemingly rubbing at it with his other.
“Ow, fuck,” she hisses, jerking her leg back from his grasp. “Are you a doctor? Why are you poking at my clearly in-pain ankle?”
He frowns up at her. “I have to promise to love and cherish this body. Your ankle is part of this body.”
Tao snorts. “Okay, right.” Joonmyun continues frowning. It sort of looks weird on his face. “I’ll bring you to the doctor’s now if you want?” He places his hand on the front of her shin this time, and she begrudgingly admits to herself it’s sort of comforting. Tao’s never necessarily been alone in Seoul, but often has felt isolated from her peers because of the language gap. Especially since never having dated anyone in Korea either, it’s sort of nice to have someone doting on her. Something about warm fuzzy feelings, perhaps. She pushes it out of her mind, anyway.
“It’s probably just sprained, I don’t really need to go,” Tao says. Joonmyun makes a sound of protest. “I’ll bring you tomorrow then. They’ll give you crutches and a cast so you should go. And also to make sure it’s not actually broken.”
When Tao huffs but nods, Joonmyun looks surprised. “Well,” he starts, removing his hand from her leg as he stands, “let’s get you to the car.”
They make idle chat in the quick car ride to her apartment. Joonmyun asks her questions about how she likes it, among other things like how the neighbors are and how safe she feels (which is generally pretty safe, being that she’s almost 175 cm and knows taekwondo, but).
“Oh, and, I’ve been seeing a weird dude with a camera outside my apartment block lately,” she comments offhandedly. Joonmyun’s hands grip the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles start to turn white. He pulls the car over, trying to even his breathing as he looks over at her in the passenger seat.
“A guy with a camera?” he asks, furrowing his brow as he looks at her. She’s just sort of confused.
“Um… yeah?” she raises a brow. “I just figured he was scouting out the apartment, I dunno.” Joonmyun looks livid, and Tao’s almost a little scared. “Tao,” he starts, “you need to stay the night at my house. I have an extra bedroom you can use.”
“Why?” she whines with a pout, drawing out the vowel sound. “Your apartment building doesn’t have an elevator and mine does.” He does have a point, she notes begrudgingly.
“Why are you so pissed suddenly though?” she asks, picking at one of her nails. He lowers his head, forehead resting on the steering wheel.
“I think he’s paparazzi. For Dispatch. Following you.”
“Oh my god,” she gasps, looking over at him with wide eyes - the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. “And it’s all my fault,” he continues, jaw tight, “so please, stay with me. I’d feel safer with you at my house than being stalked by some creep.”
She nods, resting a hand on his shoulder. “I will, tonight, anyway, thanks.” He makes a small noise in the back of his throat, but puts the car back in drive and merges back into the street.
Once they reach her house, Tao realizes she really can’t mount the stairs. She sighs, fishing her keys from her bag to hand to Joonmyun.
“There’s an empty black backpack on the hook next to my bed,” she starts explaining. “Just grab…” she trails off, cheeks dusted pink. She knows Joonmyun’s seen his fair share of lady’s undergarments before, but just the thought of him digging around in her panty drawer had her feeling a bit awkward. “Um,” she starts eloquently, “in my closet there are some drawers. The first one has underwear and socks, grab a few pairs, oh, and the blue polka dotted bra in there as well. Also, sweatpants are in two drawers down, and pajama shirts above it.”
He hums, nodding. “And for tomorrow?”
“Just… I have jeans in my bag already, so just grab a shirt from the second drawer in my dresser, something black preferably.”
“And which apartment is it?” he asks with a grin, and she huffs a small laugh. “410.”
“I’m going to lock the door when I leave the car okay Tao?”
“Yeah that’s fine,” she says with an eye roll. He nods, exiting the car, locking it as promised. Joonmyun was acting like she was going to get stabbed or something when she had, in fact, been living here for the past four years by herself, both with and without creepy reporter guy skulking about outside. But still, the thought of being with Joonmyun instead did bring her some comfort. Being under such scrutiny by some guy with a camera was a bit disconcerting.
“You know,” she drawls when he gets back into the car, her bookbag and pillow (she makes a small appreciative sound) in tow. “You’re sort of famous, huh?”
He rolls his eyes, throwing her stuff in the back seat. “Dispatch is out for blood because they didn’t get a story or money. Anything with government and scandals are a big deal.”
She hums noncommittally, sinking them back into a comfortable silence as he starts driving towards his apartment. “Maybe we should ham it up then?” she asks.
“Huh?” he asks, confused. “Well, shouldn’t we look more… I don’t know, relationship-y?” Tao asks, head tilted towards Joonmyun.
He chuckles. “Is that even a word?” Tao scowls in reply, sulking as she crosses her arms across her chest. “I’m trying to help you out here,” she starts.
“I know,” he cuts in gently, “but we don’t have to do anything like that if you don’t want to.”
Did Tao want to? She’s starting to wonder. Joonmyun was almost so nice and understanding to a fault, wondering if she’d ever find an ugly part of him. She knew she had plenty.
--
“Why did you even agree to marrying me?” he asks one night after he’d found her frustrated tearing up on the floor, having fallen trying to walk without crutches. His thumb’s rubbing in slow circles on the back of her hand, and she’s settled between his legs as he tries to comfort her. “Isn’t this just as much as an arranged marriage?”
“I don’t even know if you can begin to understand,” she says, sniffling her way through her sentence.
“Try,” he prompts gently.
“My parents… they… they don’t even care about me as a person. I’m just a tool for them to use to their advantage. I probably could’ve died my hair pink and joined the circus but as long as I go back after and marry that… boy they want me to marry, so they can combine their companies…” Joonmyun shifts so Tao’s head is against his chest.
“They never even treated me like a human. I barely ever saw them and I technically lived with them for 19 years. And that boy they want to marry me off to… he’s so mean. He’s just like they probably are.”
“Probably?” Joonmyun asks, running the hand gently up and down her side in what he hopes is a comforting way.
“Probably in that I don’t even know them. But I imagine they’d be like that,” Tao says, pressing her face into the fabric of Joonmyun’s shirt. He was warm, and he smelled like coffee and stale office air, but he also smelled musky and like a seaside breeze and something distinctively him.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” she mumbles against his chest.
“That’s fine. I’m just…” he hesitates for a moment, maybe trying to choose his words wisely. “I’m sorry you had to grow up like that. With people like that. You’re right that I can’t understand. But. I won’t make you do anything against your will either, I promise you that.”
She hums, squeezing her eyes shut. She wondered if assurances like that came from him easily, or if he really meant it.
“You know,” he starts after a few moments of silence, his warm palm rubbing comfortingly along Tao’s back now, “you really should move in here. With me, I mean. You could have the spare bedroom.”
“Wouldn’t that be scandalous?” she asks feigning shock, glancing up at him from where her head was still buried in his chest. “Mr. Kim, good Christian couples certainly do not live together before marriage. I don’t know how I could even face anyone with them knowing I’ve sinned!”
Joonmyun’s eyes crinkle up when he fails at suppressing his smile. Tao definitely does not think he looks adorable like this, with his pink lip bitten under his top row of perfectly white teeth.
“Do not worry, my betrothed, I would never besmirch your honor in such a fashion.”
Tao laughs, her body shaking in his arms. “I didn’t understand half of those words, Joon.” “That’s because I was speaking ye olde ancient Korean. So you know I’m very serious about traditions.”
She rolls her eyes, but burrows further into his embrace anyway. “You’re such a loser, oh my god,” she groans into his chest as he’s laughing, bouncing her face lightly with his chuckles. She feels comfortable.
--
Tao moves in to Joonmyun’s apartment and life fairly seamlessly.
He helps her finish packing and moving her stuff out (mostly just clothes and art supplies) the next week after they talked about her moving in permanently. Honestly, it’d be easier on her anyway, having an elevator. And he’d offered to pay for her subway pass. No brainer.
“It’s not like you’ll live here after graduation, right?” he asks, running his fingers along the empty cabinets he had just wiped down. And Tao tries to swallow down the bile rising up her throat when she understands the implications, realizes the unsaid words (when he’s done with her).
“Yeah,” she agrees quietly, eyes downcast as she runs a smoothing finger over the bubbles in the tape on top of the box. Maybe this wasn’t as simple as she’d thought.
--
Because sometimes Joonmyun looks at her like she’s the most important thing, like she really means something to him, like they were getting married for real, and not just pretending. Not acting. Like he truly is happy when she’s happy. But Tao knows, she knows that can’t be true, and the more she thinks about it, she feels like a fool. Her heart races at the thought of them being together, being in love, with no false pretenses, and her chest squeezes. Because they’re not, and she’s not anything. She’s disposable.
At least they’ll both get what they want in the end. Tao has that to at least look forward to.
--
April and May pass in a flurry of staying up late for Tao to finish assignments upon assignments, and looks she can’t read thrown from across the dinner table over weekends when Joonmyun thinks she’s not looking (but she can see him, from the corner of her eye. And he’s almost always looking at her. Studying her. She wonders what he sees).
They fit together pretty well much to Tao’s chagrin. When she has free time, they do mundane normal couple things, like going grocery shopping, walking around Myeongdong, going on dinner dates to quiet restaurants. She’s not so sure they’re doing it out of necessity, or genuinely both look forward to it.
They spend both their birthdays together with their small group of friends, drinking and eating and being merry and Tao realizes startlingly that she’s happy. It tastes foreign on her tongue when she mentions it to Joonmyun, feels weird in her gut when he smiles back at her.
Before Tao even realizes it, June arrives and it’s practically time for her wedding and the end of her last semester. Yiying’s flying in to Incheon Airport in a few days.
--
Joonmyun doesn’t seem to have that many close friends, and Tao doesn’t either, but for her, Yiying is her best friend. She’s all she’s ever needed in a person, the reason she almost didn’t leave China.
But then Yiying was there comforting her, telling her she had to do what she thought was right, and Tao was reassured. But it doesn’t mean she doesn’t miss her like hell.
Tao brings Yiying to a barbeque restaurant, to introduce her to her other friends. An hour in, she’s pleasantly buzzed, leaning into Yiying in front of the smoky grill in the center of the table. Yiying is happy to speak with Lu Han, not understanding much Korean, cooing at Minseok’s Mandarin.
“Why didn’t you pick him,” she murmurs to Tao, nodding her head at Minseok, “he’s much cuter than your boy.”
Lu Han bursts out laughing, muttering something about “Minseok’s mine, back off.”
Tao shuffles to the bathroom towards the end of the meal, Jongae joining her, only soju left on the table. Chanmi’s left for other plans, and then Yiying turns her gaze to Joonmyun, saying something in Mandarin that causes Lu Han to choke on his drink.
“Um,” Lu Han bites back a laugh when Joonmyun looks to him with confusion written on his face, “she said if you hurt Tao she’ll chop your balls off and use them in a stir-fry.”
Joonmyun’s eyes widen and Yiying happily chirps out something else in Mandarin. “She says she’s a really good cook, but is always bad at butchering her own meat,” Lu Han says, both he and Minseok bursting out laughing.
Yixing simply smiles up at Joonmyun, sending him a wink from across the grill. Joonmyun whimpers.
Tao and Jongae stumble back, giggling over something. “Time to move to a bar?” she asks, and Joonmyun smiles up at her, face screwed up in the cutest smile surrounded by her friends.
Two hours and many drinks later, Minseok and Joonmyun are the only ones not dancing, having lost the rest to the throng of sweaty bodies pulsing to a heavy baseline.
Minseok’s talking to Joonmyun about his life, waxing poetic about how happy he is for him, which is odd, considering Minseok and Lu Han are much more married than Tao and Joonmyun will probably ever be.
But then Minseok’s bringing up his lack of close friends, and whatever, Joonmyun’s a busy man. Minseok smiles at him, lips curved up over his teeth. “I’m the only person under 40 you see on a regular basis, is that what this friendship is based off of?” he asks with an evil glint in his eye. Joonmyun whines, pushing at him.
“You’re my best friend Minseok don’t belittle our love~” he singsongs, giggling into Minseok’s shoulder. Maybe he was a bit drunk. “Plus I see Taozi regularly now.”
“Ah, yeah,” Minseok says after a beat. But then the bartender’s bringing them some sort of odd green mixed drink, and Joonmyun misses the thoughtful look on Minseok’s face for taking an enthusiastic sip.
--
Tao’s pre-wedding jitters are making her anxious, pacing around the house before the ceremony. Joonmyun’s already out, opting to get ready at Minseok’s place. Yiying tries to calm her, helping her into her gown before joining her in the car waiting outside Joonmyun’s apartment to pick them up.
Yiying squeezes her hand reassuringly when they pull up to the venue, makeup caddy in her other, ready to touch up Tao’s face. “Don’t worry Taozi,” she murmurs, leaning her head on Tao’s shoulder, “it’s gonna be great.”
Their small ceremony goes off without a hitch, and Tao manages not to cry at all during it, struggling internally to remember not to bite her lip, not to tear up. And Joonmyun looks so genuinely happy she does feel like she could cry, but she tries to ignore it, even when he’s standing in front of her, looking stunning.
(“I do,” Joonmyun says proudly at the correct moment, and he does, he does, because he’s realizing he’s not lying, realizing he fell in love with this girl somewhere along the way, and fuck, he’s not lying to these people when he reads his vows, looks into Tao’s eyes, smoldering and deep, and promises to love and cherish her. Because he will, because he does.)
Tao finally meets Joonmyun’s parents after their ceremony, during the reception. She’s changed into a less cumbersome dress, but still white.
“Joonmyun, how did you manage to snag this young woman? You’re very lucky,” Joonmyun’s mom asks with a smirk. Tao tries to hide her smile by taking a gulp of her champagne.
“I am very lucky,” he agrees, sounding so sincere as he wraps an arm around Tao’s waist.
“Tao, you’re so beautiful, I’m sure you’ll be giving me cute grandkids in no time,” Joonmyun’s mom continues, and Joonmyun has to thump Tao a few times on the back when she practically chokes on the sip of champagne.
“Ah, honey, it’s too early for that,” Joonmyun’s father cuts in with a sigh. Joonmyun’s just laughing and Tao kind of wants to slap the grin off his face. Even though it was supposed to be the happiest day of their life or whatever.
“Yes, mother, we haven’t really discussed that yet,” Joonmyun replies, taking a sip from his own champagne flute.
“Well, hopefully your children will be tall, we all know Joonmyun’s genes won’t be contributing anything to that,” Joonmyun’s mother says with a giggle. And Tao lets herself laugh out loud when she gets to hit Joonmyun’s back as he’s choking on his drink this time around.
“Do you know he didn’t let me wear heels today because he didn’t want me to be taller than him?” she asks giggling, feeling a bit tipsy, a bit more open.
“Did he really?” his mother asks with a smirk, and Tao can see Joonmyun’s eyebrows furrowing and cheeks turning adorably pink out of the corner of her eye.
--
Tao and Joonmyun stumble back into their apartment at approximately two in the morning. Joonmyun had tipped their driver probably a lot more than necessary, especially considering that they had already paid the man for their wedding booking, but hey, Tao was tipsy and Joonmyun was babbling drunk, so she couldn’t really blame either of them.
She gingerly sits on the arm of his leather couch, watching him remove his loosened tie with a fair amount of struggle. She suppresses a giggle before remembering that Yiying had helped her get into the dress she was wearing. The one she had changed into for the reception. The one with numerous criss-crossing straps that, while beautiful, would be a bitch to take off alone.
“Joon?” she starts, looking over at him. “Yes, wife?” he asks with a smirk. Her toes curl in response to an emotion she doesn’t want to name.
“Could you help me with these ribbons on my back?” she asks quietly, turning so her feet are planted flat on a couch cushion. He pads over to where she’s sitting. “Be careful not to rip them.”
“Don’t worry,” he replies. She feels his warm hands start to work at the ties, undoing them from their loops. When he’s finished, he runs an appreciative hand down her back. His palm is warm and smooth against the expanse of her back, but it brings goosebumps in its wake.
Her mind is desperately trying to convince her body to move away from him, yet she stays perched on the couch arm even as he wraps his arms around her waist. The heat radiates off him, his chest pressed to her back. She bites her lip, uncaring of her probably ruined lipstick, leaning her head back onto his shoulder.
Joonmyun takes the opportunity to press a kiss to the side of her neck, and Tao doesn’t manage to stifle her gasp.
“You looked so beautiful today, Tao,” he murmurs, lips brushing her neck with each syllable. “Absolutely perfect, so good” he drawls, nosing at her chin with his nose, his cheek brushing at the juncture of her neck.
“You didn’t look so bad yourself,” she tries to tease, but it doesn’t quite have the same bite to it when her voice sounds that breathless. He chuckles nonetheless.
“Shall we consummate our marriage now?” he asks. Tao is confused for a second, before remembering what the verb means. She squawks indignantly, wiggling from his grasp.
“You wish,” she bites out, stomping to her own room. She still hears his melodious laughter as she shuts the door to her room, and it brings an unwanted shiver to her frame.
She doesn’t fall asleep until much, much later that night, hand running over the phantom press of Joonmyun’s soft lips on her neck, the feeling of his arms surrounding her, his chest strong and there for her to rest back on. Her husband.
--
If Joonmyun feels any residual embarrassment from the night before, he doesn’t let on. Tao drags her two large suitcases (tastefully leopard print) out of her room into their living room. Joonmyun’s already drinking coffee at the kitchen island.
“You know we’re just going for 10 days, right?” he calls out upon seeing her luggage, left eyebrow raised. She daintily places her leather purse on top of the suitcase. “I know. Yiying helped me pack and we sort of got carried away.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder. “Plus you’re gonna buy me a lot of shit right?”
Joonmyun just nods along, taking another sip of his coffee with a smile on his face. “Whatever you want little Taozi.” Tao’s eyes roll of their own accord.
“Shouldn’t you have made me a huge breakfast or something?” she asks, making her way to the kitchen.
He nods down at the mocha bread in front of him, packaged in a plastic wrapper. “Your favorite, right?” he questions with a grin. She scoffs while he just laughs. “We have to leave soon, so I figured we’d just have brunch in the airport. Is that okay with you?”
“I suppose,” she answers petulantly, unwrapping her pastry with a pout. He nods again, grin spread wide across his face.
Once Joonmyun’s thrown their bags into the trunk of his car, he sits in the front, keys held in his hand.
He hazards a glance over at Tao and finds her smiling almost shyly back at him. Joonmyun almost wants to take a picture, and maybe caption it “Tao actually might be able to tolerate me (??)”. But he decides against getting slapped this early in the morning.
“Is my little peach all ready to go?” he asks, chest bubbling up with affection.
Except Tao’s easy grin turns into a scowl in a matter of seconds. “I’m seriously going to murder whoever taught you that Chinese, I swear.”
Joonmyun laughs as he revs up the engine, pulling out from their underground parking garage to make the trip to Incheon airport. Tao fishes her phone out from her tight jeans, deftly entering her password before bringing up her kakao app.
To: Lu Ge light of my life~ <3
Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it.
From: Lu Ge light of my life~ <3
????
From: Lu Ge light of my life~ <3
Why what happened??
Satisfied, she drops her phone into her open bag at her feet as it continues to chirp “katalk” happily. Joonmyun looks over at her from over his sunglasses as they pull to a stop light. “Already causing chaos this early in the morning?” he teases. Tao just smiles in reply, settling into her seat.
After the fifth song of the crooning singer of Boohwal blares through the sound system in the car, Tao decides she’s had enough. “Do we have to continue listening to this for the rest of the drive?” she huffs out. He hums noncommittally.
“Don’t you listen to any Korean music?” he asks after a moment, drumming his fingers along to the beat on the edge of the steering wheel. She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, but like, current music.”
“What’s your favorite then?” he asks. “EXO,” she answers easily and he lets out a strangled laugh. “EXO?” he questions as if he’d heard her wrong, “the wolf ones?”
“Joonmyun that was just one concept how do you get off judge them you’re so fucking lame!” she bites out, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Um,” he starts gently after a beat, “sorry?” Tao huffs out an annoyed sound, but she’s smiling. Playing with Joonmyun is fun. “Who’s your favorite member?” he asks conversationally. Tao looks out of the passenger window to her left and watches the scenery of oddly cut out water edges fly by.
“Suho, the leader,” she answers after thinking for a moment. “He’s always so caring about the other members, but he’s really a weirdo underneath it all, y’know?”
“I don’t know,” he laughs in response, eyes focusing on the road but darting to look at Tao’s profile every so often. “You’re not one of those crazy superfans who like, writes fanfiction about them though, are you?”
Tao’s cheeks flush pink, Joonmyun catches it out of the corner of his eye. “Oh my god, Tao, you are?” he asks, trying to laugh too hard.
“I only ever read it!” she squawks in annoyance. “It taught me some Korean words anyway,” she finishes, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Like what?” he asks, amusement evident in his tone, “quivering asshole?”
“Joonmyun!” she squeals in surprise as he just laughs. “Don’t talk about my oppas like that,” she finally says after his laughter dies down, “plus it was useful to know phrases like ‘suck my cock’ and ‘let’s fuck’”. Joonmyun almost chokes on his own spit. “What?” he demands, sounding much higher than normal.
Tao smiles, gaze averting to where her hands were resting on her lap.
Joonmyun breaks the comfortable silence a few moments later. “Why don’t you call me oppa?” “Because you’re my husband, not my oppa,” she bristles. Joonmyun tuts in response. “I can’t be both?”
“Why, do you like being called oppa or something?”
“I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable calling myself a Korean male if I didn’t.”
She snorts in reply. “I’ll think about it, Joon-oppa,” she singsongs anyway, syllables rolling off her tongue exaggerated. He chuckles.
“You know, I know Oh Sehun.” “What?” Tao demands, turning her body fully towards Joonmyun, “you do?”
Joonmyun can practically hear the amazement in her voice and he tries to stifle his laugh. “Yeah, he was the mayor of Seoul, you know.”
Rolling her eyes, she settles back in your seat. “I hate you by the way,” she starts, “and you can forget about me calling you oppa.”
“Hey,” he chides, but a smile creeps on his face somehow.
--
Once they finally make it to their hotel from the Nice Côte d'Azur Airport via taxi, Tao is about ready to sleep on the floor of the lobby. Except it’s probably even grosser than the taxi seat had been, which was in turn probably grosser than their airplane seats had been. Instead she leans on Joonmyun as he signs the forms confirming payment for their room, her head resting comfortably in the crook of his neck. The hotel itself is situated on a beach, and Tao really can’t wait to visit it, but that can wait until she’s a little better rested.
They make their way up to their room, and Tao is awestruck when Joonmyun manages the door open.
“This is so French!” she gasps in wonder, hearing Joonmyun’s tinkling laughter from behind her as he tips their bellhop a few Euros for bringing their suitcases up.
The room was covered in paisley wallpaper, a light pink color swirled with reflective silver, the walls complete with chandeliers and paintings of French royalty. The bed was a huge king size, with four posters draped with red silk.
But - the bed -
“There’s only one bed,” she snaps turning around to face Joonmyun who looks about as tired as she feels, dark circles encroaching on his usually fair complexion.
“You did book the honeymoon suite,” he points out dryly, hoisting his own suitcase onto the luggage stand. An annoyed sound gurgles out from between her lips.
“No funny business,” she finally settles on, sighing and sitting on her self-proclaimed side of the bed.
Joonmyun simply raises an eyebrow, pulling her suitcases onto the luggage stand on her side of the room.
“Thanks Joon,” she smiles up at him. “No problem honey.” Her expression turns sour, and she barely has the energy to roll her eyes.
“I’m gonna take a shower. What are you gonna do?”
“Um, not join you?” she states, but it doesn’t draw a laugh from either of them. Jetlag was already greeting Tao, and apparently Joonmyun as well, as he riffled through his open suitcase, presumably looking for his toiletries.
“I’m just gonna sleep, honestly,” she says, sentence punctuated with an involuntary yawn. “Wanna wash your face first?” he asks, throwing a fresh shirt and pair of boxers in the general direction of the bathroom.
“Already making a mess?” she tsks, opening her own suitcase to locate her face wash. “But yes, I’ll be quick, okay?”
After successfully washing her face and brushing her teeth, Tao struggles with the French-English on the Wi-Fi instructions they’d been given before finally connecting. She breathes out a sigh of relief, opening her kakao app.
To: KeAiYiYiJie
This hotel has only one bed.
To: KeAiYiYiJie
I’m cry
From: KeAiYiYiJie
Well having two beds would make it more difficult to do the nasty.
From: KeAiYiYiJie
Kakao_emoticon_(thumbsup)
To: KeAiYiYiJie
I hate you. No one will find you when I murder you.
From: KeAiYiYiJie
I’m glad you arrived safely meimei~ enjoy your night~~
Throwing her phone haphazardly onto the bed, she moves to dig through her suitcase. Tao shrieks when she discovers a fucking black lace babydoll and thong set complete with red ribbons where she was sure she had packed her stack of pajamas. Comfortable, non-revealing pajamas. She just barely shoves it back into the depths of her suitcase when Joonmyun pops his head out of the bathroom.
“What?” he asks worriedly. She bites her lip, tears threatening to form (from anger, probably, she was going to kill Yixing, for real for real). She knew her cheeks were probably damn near crimson, she could feel it.
“I…” she starts lamely, shutting her eyes as a stray tear makes its way down her cheek. “Forgot my pajamas.”
Joonmyun, to his credit, gives her a bemused look, but doesn’t comment besides asking “Do you want to borrow some of my clothes? We could go shopping tomorrow.”
“Yes, please, thank you thank you.” Soon she’s thrown a simple white undershirt complete with a pair of boxers covered in tiny drawings of apples.
“What?” he asks as she shakes her head at his boxers. “Aren’t you like almost thirty years old, Joonmyun? And you wear these under your fancy expensive suits?”
“I like to keep my air of mystery,” he says breezily. She hazards a laugh in reply. “Plus, you could always sleep nude, it’d be okay.”
She squawks at him, face twisted up like she’s eaten something sour. “Go jerk off in the shower.”
He mock salutes her, shutting the door behind him.
After she waits a moment to make sure Joonmyun’s really staying in the bathroom, she quickly undresses, and puts on her new pajamas. They sort of smell like Joonmyun even though she’s pretty sure they’re freshly washed, something clean yet musky, almost reminding her of the ocean. She tries not to inhale too much purposefully.
Tao almost lays down to really sleep before remembering to kakao Yixing.
To: KeAiYiYiJie
Where are my fucking pajamas you bitch
From: KeAiYiYiJie
Hey, watch your mouth little peach.
From: KeAiYiYiJie
Besides, what I gifted you is what you’re supposed to wear on your honeymoon. ;)
From: KeAiYiYiJie
Not your frumpy ass mismatching teeshirts and pajama bottoms.
From: KeAiYiYiJie
Kakao_emoticon_shrugging
To: KeAiYiYiJie
You are dead to me Yiying.
To: KeAiYiYiJie
I’m unfollowing you on Weibo.
From: KeAiYiYiJie
You’re tearing this family apart!!!
From: KeAiYiYiJie
Just. Loosen up and have some fun, get drunk, touch some things.
Tao stares crossly at Yiying’s last message, deciding not to dignify it with a response, before plugging her phone in on the side table. Turning the light on her side of the bed off, she falls asleep quickly.
Joonmyun pads quietly out of the bathroom after taking a quick shower (he hadn’t had the energy to jerk off, actually.) He tries not to make a sound as he coos at the sight of Tao bunching the bed’s comforter in her arms holding it, her mouth slightly open and eyes closed gently with sleep. His shirt’s neckline on her thinner frame slightly was skewed exposing a glimpse of her golden skin.
(He does take a quick picture with his smartphone, only feeling slightly creepy, before retiring into bed next to her.)
--
part 1 │ part 2 │ part 3