Sometimes I'm just so weird. I'll wake up & not want to do anything at all. I won't be sad, but I won't be happy either. It's just sort of a neutral state, I guess. Sort of like...well...I don't even really know how to explain it, other than a lack of emotion. It's nothing I consider to be bad though, it's just slightly odd. It catches me off-guard ( Read more... )

I spent a whole week up at Eric's house. We've been together for three months now. Once again, spending more time with him made me realize a lot of things. I love him. I love him. I love him. God, do I love him! I'm convinced that he's pretty much the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love all the little things he does. I love his little ( Read more... )

So I've basically spent the last couple days living in my bed. {No lie, I must have slept more hours than I was actually awake.} I guess it did the trick, I'm feeling a lot better now. I forgot to write about what happened. I was in the hospital again on Wednesday & they had to hook me up to an IV. I was so dehydrated {from vomiting up everything I ( Read more... )

I guess you could say that things are coming together for me. I feel a lot happier than I did a few months ago or even a few years ago. I'm starting to believe in the phrase "everything happens for a reason." more & more. I'm seeing it in the way life works out & why certain situations happen. I always used to complain that timing was horrible for ( Read more... )

Today made me understand a lot about the extent of my feelings. Trust also comes into play a lot in my mind. Things are getting better in that department, since I haven't been as paranoid lately. I know things will work well with me & Eric so long as there's trust in our relationship. He's never given me a reason not to believe him on the things ( Read more... )

I have to do this. It will make me complete to completely detach. No one will be happy about how I have to do this, but it will help a lot in the end. I'm known for making mistakes, but I'm stronger now. The puppet has cut it's strings, now the hands are going to get what's coming to them. I've learned enough in the time I've had to collect my ( Read more... )

I HATE THIS. I FUCKING HATE THIS. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ( Read more... )

I had an amazing mind expanding journey. I found the true answer to the question of who's soul pieces into my own. I may have gone temporarily insane {or looked that way for a bit} but I came into deep thoughts. Some that clouded my head didn't make sense to anyone else. "You're eyes are a reflection of the sun." But they had made perfect sense to ( Read more... )

Going up to Eric's for a couple of days is like a vacation every week. He was right. It's like something I need to help clear my head. I feel a lot better than the last time I posted. Eric really puts things into perspective for me. He kind of centers me, in a way. I don't know, it's hard to explain. But he's definitely really helping me out. It's ( Read more... )

The more time I spend with Eric, the more attached I grow. You see, I'm much like mold...I cling to you & grow out everywhere. That's exactly what he does to me, he makes my feelings spread & grow into something with beauty. The fact that I miss him so much & he just left today scares me. I won't lie, this love's got me going insane. But it's not ( Read more... )