So im back in AZ

[suzaku_the_dark]

Its so hard being here..the guilt..the immense guilt for what Ive done...for what?? so I didnt have to struggle? maybe..I dont know..in alot of ways I didnt want it to come to this...Desire and I werent working because of the stress of that household...and whatever personal issues she and I had with ourselves were magnified^100 by the constant

Comments

[rzrbladeromanc]

I'm alive, and not so well... I am just so fucking confused... Everything was going so great.. You kissed me good-bye.. let me drive away... KNOWING that you would never see me again... You got that advantage.. I didn't.... I just don't understand.... I mean.. I know you have your reasons... but maybe if we were fighting or something.. but we weren't.. hadn't in a while... And now.. everything is ripped out from underneath my feet. Everything... I just.. I mean.. I.. We.. You.. now.. only.. ME. Ouch. FUCK. Doesn't mean I don't still love you.. Doesn't mean i'm not still IN LOVE with you... But.. I just.. Damnit.. What do you want me to do? Wait.. Forever maybe? Hold my breath?? I just need to know.. SHould I just get over you.. or.. What?? FUCK..

[rzrbladeromanc]

Please respond to this in my journal or OUR journal or email.. I guess.. because it's hard to know where the comment is to what.. hard to keep track of.. maybe we should just discuss this in our journal so we know where it all is.. I love you.