Smobat 6 - Calling Card? Bad Idea.
... I did not make up the Smobat thing, honestly. It hurts me just to read it. I collapse into silly giggle fits everytime xD
EPIC TIME.
--
[Inside POLICE DEPARTMENT. OFFICER COBY and OFFICER HELMEPPO inside GARP’S OFFICE. Lights are off. Music from ‘The Nutcracker’ playing in background. GARP enters. COBY and HELMEPPO cower.]
GARP: (Bellowing) Because my idiot grandson eloped his ex-babysitter -
HELMEPPO: Wait, what?!
COBY: No, not Luffy!!! [Sob]
GARP: Yeah, it wasn’t him.
COBY: Oh, phew.
HELMEPPO: Wait, what?!
GARP: (Continues) Because of Ace’s treason, I can’t write my ballet. So we are now holding auditions for who will become the new Sugarbum Fairy!
[Silence]
HELMEPPO: Wait, what?!
COBY: Um sir, I believe it’s “Sugarplum Fairy”, not, uh, “Sugarbum”.
GARP: Silence! You will both audition immediately! And whoever does not get the part will have to attend all future tea parties.
[Mortal Kombat ensues.]
--
[Inside MINIONS N’ THINGS. Pile of broken coffee machines. Angry salespeople crowding around. TASHIGI on the floor.]
TASHIGI: Oh bugger. [Wibble]
--
[Abandoned WAREHOUSE. MOP leaning against a wooden crate. Door opens suddenly.]
MOP: Welcome, master. [Bows respectfully] How was your journey?
GOLDFISH: (Scornful) Bah! Too many weaklings. Despicable. [Spits on the ground]
MOP: I’m sorry to hear your trip was unpleasant. Have you found any prospective recruits?
GOLDFISH: Yes. In fact, a few of them. They’re all deranged, but I should be able to make use of them.
MOP: Wonderful! Now… where did we leave off last time…?
GOLDFISH: I was about to @#$% you over.
MOP: (Aghast) I beg to differ!
GOLDFISH: [Grin wickedly] Try and resist, puny cleaning tool!
[MOP and GOLDFISH engage in a passionate round of chess.]
--
[CITY HALL. ICEBURG, PAULIE, and KALIFA inside OFFICE. Something whizzes past window.]
ICEBURG: What was that?!
PAULIE: Is it a bird?!
KALIFA: It’s sexual harassment.
PAULIE: Is it a plane?
KALIFA: It’s sexual harassment.
PAULIE: Shut up, woman!
KALIFA: That’s sexual harassment!
[FRANKY crashes through window and lands inside OFFICE.]
FRANKY: (Loud) No, it’s SUPERman! [Poses in his sea panties and fluttering cape.]
[Silence]
ICEBURG: Kalifa wins.
--
[Outside of NATIONAL LOGUETOWN MUSEUM OF STRONG POLICE. Nighttime. Very quiet. Unknown figure (???) standing nearby.]
???: [Cackle] Once I raze this wretched building down to the ground, I will finally be free!!!!!!!!!!11111oneone111!!!!!iiiii
[Batmobile screeches to a stop in front of ??? and BATMAN climbs out.]
BATMAN: Halt, in the name of the law!
???: (Amused) Man, that was pretty lame.
BATMAN: Shut up, you interrupted me in the middle of my soap opera. [Glare Glare Glare]
???: Wow, you have issues. Can’t we just get along?
BATMAN: No. I don’t compromise with the likes of you, Joker.
JOKER: [Laugh] Well, get out of the way. I’m gonna burn things now.
BATMAN: I won’t let you.
JOKER: Oh, you jokester. There’s no way you can stop me! [Brandishes lighter. Laughs maniacally.]
BATMAN: Oh yes there is! [Takes JOKER’s lighter]
JOKER: Well the joke is on you, because there are plenty more where that came from!
[JOKER takes out lighter. BATMAN takes away lighter. Repeat.]
BATMAN: This is getting stupid.
JOKER: Yeah, can we stop clowning around now? I WANT TO SET SOMETHING ON FIRE. [Wibble]
BATMAN: [Pause] … PORTGAS?!
JOKER: … WHO’S THAT LALALA.
BATMAN: [Facepalm] Why didn’t I realize earlier that it was you?! It’s so obvious!
JOKER: ME NO PORTGAS.
BATMAN: Stop it.
JOKER: WHAT? ME NO SPEAK ENGLISH.
BATMAN: Don’t be stupid, you were just talking to me!
JOKER: ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME.
BATMAN: Stop @#$%ing around, Portgas! What are you doing as the Joker?
JOKER: I’m not Portgas. Please stop joking around.
BATMAN: Okay, stop making those stupid puns already.
JOKER: Why so serious? I’ll just keep playing the fool. I haven’t even reached the punchline.
[BATMAN punches JOKER.]
JOKER: Hypocrisy!
BATMAN: Shut up. Just… don’t set the museum on fire and I’ll let you go.
JOKER: … really?
BATMAN: Maybe. If you confess that you’re actually Portgas D. Ace.
JOKER: … alright. How’d you know it was me?
BATMAN: It was terribly obvious. Firstly, you’re a complete pyromaniac.
JOKER: Am not!
[BATMAN raises an eyebrow. Lights one of many confiscated lighters. Waves it around. Watches in amusement as JOKER keeps looking at the pretty fire.]
JoKER: … oh fine. [Pout]
BATMAN: [Smirk] Anyways, the next clue was that all the museums you’ve already burnt plus this one which you haven’t yet all have to do with Garp in some way. Also, you were being highly suspicious when Luffy called you a joker, and when Marco called you about his deck of cards.
JOKER: I see… wait, hang on a minute. (Suspicious) How did you know about the last two things?
BATMAN: (Hastily) Uh… Justice-powers?
JOKER: Oh. Okay. Any more points?
BATMAN: Yeah, one more. You ran out of Joker cards to use from Marco’s deck. So you just left a different card for this museum.
JOKER: How is that a clue?
BATMAN: … you left behind an ace.
JOKER: [Pause] Whoops, that was a dumb idea.
BATMAN: [Facepalm] Right. I’m going home now. [Gets into Batmobile]
[Two knocks on tinted window]
BATMAN: (Startled) Who’s there?
JOKER: (Outside Batmobile) [Snicker] Oh Batty, you complete me. Nice pun, by the way.
BATMAN: … @#$% you.
--
Now I have to think of other stupid things xD
Previous
Next
EPIC TIME.
--
[Inside POLICE DEPARTMENT. OFFICER COBY and OFFICER HELMEPPO inside GARP’S OFFICE. Lights are off. Music from ‘The Nutcracker’ playing in background. GARP enters. COBY and HELMEPPO cower.]
GARP: (Bellowing) Because my idiot grandson eloped his ex-babysitter -
HELMEPPO: Wait, what?!
COBY: No, not Luffy!!! [Sob]
GARP: Yeah, it wasn’t him.
COBY: Oh, phew.
HELMEPPO: Wait, what?!
GARP: (Continues) Because of Ace’s treason, I can’t write my ballet. So we are now holding auditions for who will become the new Sugarbum Fairy!
[Silence]
HELMEPPO: Wait, what?!
COBY: Um sir, I believe it’s “Sugarplum Fairy”, not, uh, “Sugarbum”.
GARP: Silence! You will both audition immediately! And whoever does not get the part will have to attend all future tea parties.
[Mortal Kombat ensues.]
--
[Inside MINIONS N’ THINGS. Pile of broken coffee machines. Angry salespeople crowding around. TASHIGI on the floor.]
TASHIGI: Oh bugger. [Wibble]
--
[Abandoned WAREHOUSE. MOP leaning against a wooden crate. Door opens suddenly.]
MOP: Welcome, master. [Bows respectfully] How was your journey?
GOLDFISH: (Scornful) Bah! Too many weaklings. Despicable. [Spits on the ground]
MOP: I’m sorry to hear your trip was unpleasant. Have you found any prospective recruits?
GOLDFISH: Yes. In fact, a few of them. They’re all deranged, but I should be able to make use of them.
MOP: Wonderful! Now… where did we leave off last time…?
GOLDFISH: I was about to @#$% you over.
MOP: (Aghast) I beg to differ!
GOLDFISH: [Grin wickedly] Try and resist, puny cleaning tool!
[MOP and GOLDFISH engage in a passionate round of chess.]
--
[CITY HALL. ICEBURG, PAULIE, and KALIFA inside OFFICE. Something whizzes past window.]
ICEBURG: What was that?!
PAULIE: Is it a bird?!
KALIFA: It’s sexual harassment.
PAULIE: Is it a plane?
KALIFA: It’s sexual harassment.
PAULIE: Shut up, woman!
KALIFA: That’s sexual harassment!
[FRANKY crashes through window and lands inside OFFICE.]
FRANKY: (Loud) No, it’s SUPERman! [Poses in his sea panties and fluttering cape.]
[Silence]
ICEBURG: Kalifa wins.
--
[Outside of NATIONAL LOGUETOWN MUSEUM OF STRONG POLICE. Nighttime. Very quiet. Unknown figure (???) standing nearby.]
???: [Cackle] Once I raze this wretched building down to the ground, I will finally be free!!!!!!!!!!11111oneone111!!!!!iiiii
[Batmobile screeches to a stop in front of ??? and BATMAN climbs out.]
BATMAN: Halt, in the name of the law!
???: (Amused) Man, that was pretty lame.
BATMAN: Shut up, you interrupted me in the middle of my soap opera. [Glare Glare Glare]
???: Wow, you have issues. Can’t we just get along?
BATMAN: No. I don’t compromise with the likes of you, Joker.
JOKER: [Laugh] Well, get out of the way. I’m gonna burn things now.
BATMAN: I won’t let you.
JOKER: Oh, you jokester. There’s no way you can stop me! [Brandishes lighter. Laughs maniacally.]
BATMAN: Oh yes there is! [Takes JOKER’s lighter]
JOKER: Well the joke is on you, because there are plenty more where that came from!
[JOKER takes out lighter. BATMAN takes away lighter. Repeat.]
BATMAN: This is getting stupid.
JOKER: Yeah, can we stop clowning around now? I WANT TO SET SOMETHING ON FIRE. [Wibble]
BATMAN: [Pause] … PORTGAS?!
JOKER: … WHO’S THAT LALALA.
BATMAN: [Facepalm] Why didn’t I realize earlier that it was you?! It’s so obvious!
JOKER: ME NO PORTGAS.
BATMAN: Stop it.
JOKER: WHAT? ME NO SPEAK ENGLISH.
BATMAN: Don’t be stupid, you were just talking to me!
JOKER: ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME.
BATMAN: Stop @#$%ing around, Portgas! What are you doing as the Joker?
JOKER: I’m not Portgas. Please stop joking around.
BATMAN: Okay, stop making those stupid puns already.
JOKER: Why so serious? I’ll just keep playing the fool. I haven’t even reached the punchline.
[BATMAN punches JOKER.]
JOKER: Hypocrisy!
BATMAN: Shut up. Just… don’t set the museum on fire and I’ll let you go.
JOKER: … really?
BATMAN: Maybe. If you confess that you’re actually Portgas D. Ace.
JOKER: … alright. How’d you know it was me?
BATMAN: It was terribly obvious. Firstly, you’re a complete pyromaniac.
JOKER: Am not!
[BATMAN raises an eyebrow. Lights one of many confiscated lighters. Waves it around. Watches in amusement as JOKER keeps looking at the pretty fire.]
JoKER: … oh fine. [Pout]
BATMAN: [Smirk] Anyways, the next clue was that all the museums you’ve already burnt plus this one which you haven’t yet all have to do with Garp in some way. Also, you were being highly suspicious when Luffy called you a joker, and when Marco called you about his deck of cards.
JOKER: I see… wait, hang on a minute. (Suspicious) How did you know about the last two things?
BATMAN: (Hastily) Uh… Justice-powers?
JOKER: Oh. Okay. Any more points?
BATMAN: Yeah, one more. You ran out of Joker cards to use from Marco’s deck. So you just left a different card for this museum.
JOKER: How is that a clue?
BATMAN: … you left behind an ace.
JOKER: [Pause] Whoops, that was a dumb idea.
BATMAN: [Facepalm] Right. I’m going home now. [Gets into Batmobile]
[Two knocks on tinted window]
BATMAN: (Startled) Who’s there?
JOKER: (Outside Batmobile) [Snicker] Oh Batty, you complete me. Nice pun, by the way.
BATMAN: … @#$% you.
--
Now I have to think of other stupid things xD
Previous
Next