Smobat 7 - Everything is Edible
Due to the amazing powers of time editing on LJ, I moved a section of the next post into this one.
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[Inside LOGUETOWN HOSPITAL. LUFFY, ROBIN, and SMOKER inside room.]
LUFFY: Meat! [Wails]
SMOKER: (Angsty) Why am I stuck here in the same room as him?!
LUFFY: Oh, hi Smokey! Didn’t notice you there.
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) He’s been here since the day before yesterday. [Smile]
LUFFY: Really?
[SMOKER tries to strangle himself with an IV stand.]
LUFFY: Hey that looks fun! But not as fun as meat. [Pout] Has it been two weeks yet?
[ROBIN mysteriously drugs LUFFY and smiles when he falls asleep.]
SMOKER: [Stops self-choking] Thanks.
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) You’re welcome. [Smile]
SMOKER: (Grumbling) Why do I have to be in the hospital? I’m not hurt. The IV isn’t even doing anything. It’s just pumping random stu - wait, what IS this stuff anyways?
[ROBIN mysteriously smiles.]
SMOKER: … never mind. But why am I in here?! I should be upholding Justice!
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) You jumped out of Mr. Portgas’ apartment on the thirteenth floor. People expect you to be either hospitalized or in a coffin after something like that. [Smile]
SMOKER: (Grumbling) Yeah, I get that, but do I really need all of this crap? [Gestures vaguely at leg casts and copious bandaging around random areas.] And why couldn’t my robot Snoker just continue standing in for me like it had been for the past few days?
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) Mr. Portgas was becoming disconcerted by Snoker’s glowing eyes and the random flashing light on its antenna. [Smile]
SMOKER: Good point. [Sigh]
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) In a couple of days you will be released from the hospital. As long as ‘Smoker Wayne’ remains home for another month or so, ‘Batman’ can continue upholding Justice. [Smile]
[ACE enters room.]
ACE: [Looks surprised] Smoker! How are you doing? Oh, and hello Ms. Robin. [Bow]
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) Hello, Ace. [Smile]
SMOKER: I was fine before you came in. Don’t you have something better to do than annoy me with your presence?
ACE: [Giggle] Well, yeah, duh! I was visiting Luffy!
SMOKER: Oh.
ACE: But you’re looking a lot better today! You’re not glowing anywhere!
SMOKER: [Blink] Right.
ACE: I’m sorry for freaking you out a few days ago and accidentally making you jump out the conveniently open window… [Wibble]
SMOKER: Hnn.
ACE: Those ambulances are fast. I mean, sure, I got stopped on the seventh floor by some blonde lady with glasses that beat me with her purse while yelling “That’s sexual harassment!”, forcing me to go find some pants somewhere… but by the time I got to the front of the building, you were already gone!
SMOKER: Yeah, it’s not like I flew all the way back to my mansion with a super secret hang glider or anything like that.
[ROBIN mysteriously kicks SMOKER who glares at her. ROBIN smiles.]
ACE: Yeah, that’d be silly. [Laugh] Anyways, feel better soon, m’kay? I’ve gotta go to work soon. Goodbye! [Exits]
SMOKER: [Sigh] Glad he’s gone now… [Attempts to move.] Eh? What the… I can’t feel my arms or my legs… and I’m feeling the strange urge to start singing a song about being shirtlessly sexy. [Stares suspiciously at IV then at ROBIN.]
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) Well, farewell, Mr. Wayne. [Smile]
SMOKER: Wait a minute!
[ROBIN leaves. LUFFY wakes up.]
LUFFY: (Wailing) Meeeeaaaat!!! [Pause] Wait a sec, people are meat…
SMOKER: OH SHI -- !
--
[At DRUM OPTICAL, glasses store. TASHIGI at counter with OPTICIAN.]
OPTICIAN: Here you go, miss. [Hands TASHIGI new glasses.]
TASHIGI: [Wears them] Oh, glorious vision! Thank you, thank you! [Bows fervently]
OPTICIAN: You’re very welcome.
TASHIGI: Now I can polish my sword without accidentally killing somebody this time! [Exits joyfully]
OPTICIAN: Umm…
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--
[Inside LOGUETOWN HOSPITAL. LUFFY, ROBIN, and SMOKER inside room.]
LUFFY: Meat! [Wails]
SMOKER: (Angsty) Why am I stuck here in the same room as him?!
LUFFY: Oh, hi Smokey! Didn’t notice you there.
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) He’s been here since the day before yesterday. [Smile]
LUFFY: Really?
[SMOKER tries to strangle himself with an IV stand.]
LUFFY: Hey that looks fun! But not as fun as meat. [Pout] Has it been two weeks yet?
[ROBIN mysteriously drugs LUFFY and smiles when he falls asleep.]
SMOKER: [Stops self-choking] Thanks.
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) You’re welcome. [Smile]
SMOKER: (Grumbling) Why do I have to be in the hospital? I’m not hurt. The IV isn’t even doing anything. It’s just pumping random stu - wait, what IS this stuff anyways?
[ROBIN mysteriously smiles.]
SMOKER: … never mind. But why am I in here?! I should be upholding Justice!
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) You jumped out of Mr. Portgas’ apartment on the thirteenth floor. People expect you to be either hospitalized or in a coffin after something like that. [Smile]
SMOKER: (Grumbling) Yeah, I get that, but do I really need all of this crap? [Gestures vaguely at leg casts and copious bandaging around random areas.] And why couldn’t my robot Snoker just continue standing in for me like it had been for the past few days?
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) Mr. Portgas was becoming disconcerted by Snoker’s glowing eyes and the random flashing light on its antenna. [Smile]
SMOKER: Good point. [Sigh]
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) In a couple of days you will be released from the hospital. As long as ‘Smoker Wayne’ remains home for another month or so, ‘Batman’ can continue upholding Justice. [Smile]
[ACE enters room.]
ACE: [Looks surprised] Smoker! How are you doing? Oh, and hello Ms. Robin. [Bow]
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) Hello, Ace. [Smile]
SMOKER: I was fine before you came in. Don’t you have something better to do than annoy me with your presence?
ACE: [Giggle] Well, yeah, duh! I was visiting Luffy!
SMOKER: Oh.
ACE: But you’re looking a lot better today! You’re not glowing anywhere!
SMOKER: [Blink] Right.
ACE: I’m sorry for freaking you out a few days ago and accidentally making you jump out the conveniently open window… [Wibble]
SMOKER: Hnn.
ACE: Those ambulances are fast. I mean, sure, I got stopped on the seventh floor by some blonde lady with glasses that beat me with her purse while yelling “That’s sexual harassment!”, forcing me to go find some pants somewhere… but by the time I got to the front of the building, you were already gone!
SMOKER: Yeah, it’s not like I flew all the way back to my mansion with a super secret hang glider or anything like that.
[ROBIN mysteriously kicks SMOKER who glares at her. ROBIN smiles.]
ACE: Yeah, that’d be silly. [Laugh] Anyways, feel better soon, m’kay? I’ve gotta go to work soon. Goodbye! [Exits]
SMOKER: [Sigh] Glad he’s gone now… [Attempts to move.] Eh? What the… I can’t feel my arms or my legs… and I’m feeling the strange urge to start singing a song about being shirtlessly sexy. [Stares suspiciously at IV then at ROBIN.]
ROBIN: (Mysteriously) Well, farewell, Mr. Wayne. [Smile]
SMOKER: Wait a minute!
[ROBIN leaves. LUFFY wakes up.]
LUFFY: (Wailing) Meeeeaaaat!!! [Pause] Wait a sec, people are meat…
SMOKER: OH SHI -- !
--
[At DRUM OPTICAL, glasses store. TASHIGI at counter with OPTICIAN.]
OPTICIAN: Here you go, miss. [Hands TASHIGI new glasses.]
TASHIGI: [Wears them] Oh, glorious vision! Thank you, thank you! [Bows fervently]
OPTICIAN: You’re very welcome.
TASHIGI: Now I can polish my sword without accidentally killing somebody this time! [Exits joyfully]
OPTICIAN: Umm…
--
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