like a diamond in the sky

[sweet_mintx]

Title: like a diamond in the sky
Pairing: kaisoo
Rating: pg-13
Genre: romance, slight!angst
Length: 2500~w
Summary: It takes a second to forgive, and years to forget, and forever to stop loving. Jongin learns this the hard way.

Comments

[grumpybiscuit]

so sad...bawling woooooaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
i totally understand why jongin acted like that but he should have let kyungsoo to talk rather than leaving just like that...it just make kyungsoo leave earlier than he should.

[sweet_mintx]

haha, yes jongin is quite hotheaded in this, isn't he? ^^ thank you for reading!

[wookiescookie]

i rly like how this was written...
i mean tbh the plot isnt something new, but the way that you wrote it
makes it new, and tugged at my heartstrings all the same ;A;
kaisoo angst is the most painful to be honest sighhhs
but thank you for the read!^^

[sweet_mintx]

awww, no, thank you for reading! :DD

[hotcrossbyuns]

Hi, Elisa from EFR here. I liked it, and I agree with the previous commenter that the plot isn't exactly groundbreaking. You wrote it pretty well, though. c:

The first few lines are supposed to make a big impact on the reader, but your second line had a couple errors in it, so it detracted from the whole impact of those precious first few lines. "Starts" should be "stars" and the repetition of the word "sky" feels a little awkward. I think you could have just ended the sentence with "disappearing."

“He made me call him hyung, and he was everything in my life. He was my teacher, my friend, my mentor, my family, my lover, my star, and my angel. He sang, and I danced, and it was a match made in heaven. We kissed between the shelves of our school library and made love in his bedroom after he finished his physics homework. He was the brains that kept me out of trouble, and I was the heart that loved him and loved us blindly. When he was in my arms, I felt like I had nothing to lose. He was my world."This was a very beautiful paragraph

[sweet_mintx]

Thank you so much for the constructive criticism! I've corrected my errors in the beginning, haha, I can't believe I didn't notice xDD. Yeah, the plot is sort of over-used, but for some reason, the story just became like this as I was writing it. Anyways, thanks some more!

[hotcrossbyuns]

No prob! You have a way with words, though. :D

[jonginspuppy]

i havent commented when i first read it lol
well i re-read this again and i just want to say that the story is great and yeah this is so sad omg.......... im crying while reading this t____t

[sweet_mintx]

Awww, don't cry don't cry /wipes your tears for you.

Thank you for reading!