(An e-mail, to many friends and perhaps a few strangers)Hi. I know all of you, somehow: I've worked call centers with you, hogtied children with you, had papers graded by you - and in all likelihood, talked smack or made merry with every single one of you. At various points, a few of you have requested 'a Jonathan newsletter.' Well, OK ( Read more... )

I just walked out of a recording studio with two full albums in my hand: two CDs, ten stories each.

No one is more surprised than me.

Geek, Bookworm, Hero. Vol. 1.
1) I Suppose You Do Have Two of Them
2) An Ode to the Landlubbers
3) I Am My Father's Son
4) Bibliophilia With a Side of Moxie
5) The Poor Man's LSD
6) Physics Has Its Seedy Side
7) ( Read more... )

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The man two feet to my right is very, very confused. He is staring at his mobile phone on a Tube car in London, and he has just received a message from an address that he does not recognize. There's not even a number. It has materialized, unbidden, onto his screen.

Please answer as many of the following questions as you can. Work with ( Read more... )

Whenever people ask me where I put my food, I simply tell them, 'Into the future ( Read more... )

I never expected to wear a badge ( Read more... )

I do not take well to cubicles. I feel this is to my credit. Cubicles are an indignity to God and man. They take the most organic and freeform species on the planet, and put them into a box ( Read more... )

As I child, I loved to visit cemeteries with my grandmother. We were both of the opinion - senior citizen and anklebitter alike - that they were awesome. Their grime, their history, their pastoral charm had made us instant fans. And so my grandmother and I walked hand-in-hand past granite angels and crumbling mausoleums while superstitious ( Read more... )

For reasons that fly in the face of predictability, I live in a mountain town whose population doesn't even hit five-figures. I, whose most direct exposure to small-town existence are reruns of Twin Peaks, now inhabit a community for whom Friday night karaoke is the big event. This town's primary commodities seem to be liquor, leather and ( Read more... )

Trinidad is sometimes called the 'Victorian Jewel of Southeastern Colorado.' It has a population of ten thousand people, nine thousand of whom are cowboys. The rest are transsexuals ( Read more... )

This emu is staring at me, and I don't think it speaks English ( Read more... )