I'm really worried about my mom right now. She been very sick lately, and it only seems to get worse. And that's just the side I hear about...I don't think she tells me everything. And I know her self-confidence is not very high at the moment, and it's hurts me that there's nothing I can do about it. I love my mom sooooo much, and I think I'd ( Read more... )

Sometimes I wish I were brave enough to always say what's on my mind. Really though...not everyone needs to know. I think our society would be so very different if we could hear the thoughts of those around us like the wolves in the Twilight series. So very different...

Tonight does not feel like a good night to be working, sitting at a desk. I have that incredibly uncomfortable feeling I get sometimes. My whole body is tense and fatigued. I just want to get out, take a drive, go to the beach, fly kites...something. I do not like feeling stuck...restrictions are too constricting. I could relate it to not ( Read more... )

I'm so moody sometimes, and my feelings never make sense overall. Anywho...I'm feeling the pressure again, but more in regards to figuring out my priorities. I do way too much. I like to be active, but I really want to try and focus on the most important things. Like my music...I never practice enough to be on the level I'd like because I don't ( Read more... )

Rehearsal today was AWFUL!!! But it wasn't just me, the entire orchestra. So...we may have a piano with us in the end anyway. I spent 3 straight hours today working on my part before orchestra, and during that time I only made it through the first and a half acts...the third act is the longest. I felt much better about the music I worked on ( Read more... )

Something hit me today, surprisingly not literally at least, but this ache, this longing within me just lurched forward pulling me in a direction part of me would prefer to avoid. I need... though I can't fulfill. Like an addiction in a way...I need it...I want it...yet I've been trying to recover, so I've built up a resistance strategy that ( Read more... )

I feel very much in danger of having another freakout moment or breakdown. The stress level has reached my chest again. I find myself trying to take big slow breaths in order to maintain a certain amount of tranquility. If I can make it through the opera performances, I will be fine. I just got another curve ball thrown at me today though. ( Read more... )

So I had a bad day today ( Read more... )

So, I'm trying to figure what I want and what I'll have to do to get it ( Read more... )

I wonder if anyone could ever love me as much as Noah loved Allie...