TEXAS! WITH SHOULDER PADS!!!!

[swirly_bananaz]

AYYEEEEEE!!!!! Im in Texas....yes kristina...with shoulder pads. im supposed to be happy that im in texas and that im staying with my beloved aunt jan and uncle daddy and being able to see lydsssssay and travis....but...im not as happy as i should be....for some reason...im still unhappy...because...theres these little little things that remind me

Comments

[sciss0rfight]

Loni, look. I know we're not great when we're together. Yeah, she and I talk a lot. But you also don't make it very easy to talk to you. You blow us off when we ask what's wrong. You hide in your headphones. You don't sit next to us on the bus when there are seats close. We're all at fault here. If you don't wanna ride the bus anymore I'm not going to bug you and try and make you. I won't dig at you. I'm not going to pry. But I wish you'd think about what I just said.

[swirly_bananaz]

Im not trying to say that its all your fault...but its just that when i see you guys together all snuggly and happy to be with eachother, it makes me really depressed....cause thats exactly what i did with Juan. Thats why i move away from you guys on the bus. So i dont have to see it and to not be reminded of him. I dont know why i blow you guys off when you ask whats wrong.....i think its because i want you to keep asking and asking untill i finally tell you cause it makes me feel like you really do care about me if you keep asking. Like you really do wanna know whats wrong. And then when you dont ask me whats up more than once i get angry for thinking that you would and because you didnt ask again. its retarded i know, but thats how i feel....and the reason why i "hide in my headphones" is because you guys dont talk to me anyways, and music distracts me from you guys wrapped in eachothers arms, and if Juans on the bus when i am, it helps me block out him too...and the only reason why i was riding with kristina is because she was

[sciss0rfight]

I guess you're right about us like, trying to make up for lost time so to speak. But you know, when say you don't sit with us on the bus, we talk about YOU. "What the hell is she doing over there?" "Wish she'd come sit up here" And so on, but you wouldn't know that, because you just assume that we're so wrapped up in each other. It's not like that it really isn't. I want you to think about something else though. Think about how things were when you and Juan were together. Hannah and I never got a chance to talk to YOU then. Isn't it the same thing? But you didn't think about it that way when it was you. I'm not holding that against you, I'm just trying to point out that I'm sure you didn't do THAT on purpose, so know that we aren't either. If I could make Juan NOT an asshole, and fix everything, even the little ITSY BITSY TEENY WEENY stuff that went wrong with you guys, I would. In a heartbeat. But I can't. I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry you have to see anything. I'm sorry Juans a dick. I'm sorry you can't seem to get over this. I'm sorry

[shaeinara]

in brook's class on friday. twice i believe. but, w/e. it doesn't matter. what matters is that your my friend and i don't want something like this to change that. i wish that i could give you juan for xmas like you asked, but i can't. i'm sorry that you have to see me and alex together, i'm sorry that it seems to hurt you. i wish that you would talk to me when i ask you whats wrong, but if you won't i'm not going to make you. i'm sorry.

[shaeinara]

lon...if you blow me off when i try to talk to you i can't do a whole lot about it. i tried to have a conversation with you the other day and you signed off-line. i tried to talk to you in class and you yelled at me. alex is right, sometimes you make it hard to talk to you. i'm not blaming you, we're all doing this, but you need to look at how you act too. you do whatever you want to do, if you don't want to ride with us anymore i won't stop you, but please, just think about all of this. i don't want to loose you as a friend over something like this. its not worth it.

[alinahatesyou]

chea...i found your livejournal!

and i'm sorry about you feeling sad...

1 <3 you