Comments | swissarmybot: 0000 0001

swissarmybot

0000 0001

Mar 27, 2011 19:06

HI, SPHERE. MY NAME IS SKYWALKER.

I'M AN ASTROMECH DROID SEEKING EMPLOYMENT, BUT IT SEEMS THAT YOU DON'T HAVE ANY STARSHIPS HERE.

WHAT TO DO?

Comments 87

proudambassador March 28 2011, 02:12:28 UTC

Starships? You, my good person, know starships? I would talk with you. And drink with you.

[There's a pause as he reads the rest.]

What is an astromech droid?

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 02:24:34 UTC

I DON'T DRINK.

IT IS SHORTHAND FOR "ASTRONAVIGATION AND MECHANIC ANDROID." MY PRIMARY FUNCTIONS ARE TO MAINTAIN AND REPAIR MECHANICAL AND ELECTRONIC COMPONENTS AND TO PERFORM HYPERSPACE NAVIGATIONS.

DOES THAT HELP?

[ Figures, if this person knows what a starship is he probably can figure it out from here. He's not particularly looking forward to explaining things like what an android is to someone who's never even heard of one. ]

proudambassador March 28 2011, 02:38:26 UTC

You do not drink? Who does not drink?

Bah. You are no fun at all. A computer, that is what you sound like. It does not help at all.

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 02:49:29 UTC

INORGANIC ENTITIES DO NOT DRINK, THAT'S WHO.

FUNNY, THAT. HOW IS IT THAT YOU COME FROM A SPACE-FARING CIVILIZATION BUT DON'T KNOW WHAT AN ANDROID IS?

Thread 13

temp_ered March 28 2011, 02:16:32 UTC

[ So like. None of that second paragraph made any sense. Well, okay, starships. He's seen a little science fiction. ]

What did you do on starships?

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 02:25:43 UTC

I DON'T REMEMBER.

THERE IS A HIGH PROBABILITY THAT I FIXED THEM AND PERFORMED CALCULATIONS FOR HYPERSPACE NAVIGATION, HOWEVER.

temp_ered March 28 2011, 02:42:56 UTC

Maybe you can find a job calculating something.

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 02:55:21 UTC

I'D RATHER FIND SOMETHING WHERE I'LL BE USEFUL. THERE'S NO HURRY.

Thread 11

Hi pings ichangedforgood March 28 2011, 02:33:36 UTC

Mr. Skywalker, do you mean to imply that you are both familiar with mechanical workings and in part mechanical yourself?

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 02:56:59 UTC

INCORRECT: I AM COMPLETELY MECHANICAL.

ichangedforgood March 28 2011, 03:01:47 UTC

My apologies, then. Completely mechanical it is.

All the same, you are a mechanic who works on ships, correct?

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 03:05:04 UTC

YES INDEED. DO YOU HAVE ONE?

Thread 9

marrymarajade March 28 2011, 03:05:55 UTC

[Ben had found that a number of people seem to recognize him just as Genius and Barry had, though none of them knew much. Today, one of them, a medic he'd become a casual friend of, had come up to him. "Did you check the journals yet?" he'd wanted to know, and Ben had admitted that he had no idea what had happened to his journal. The medic had pushed his own journal at him and watched over his shoulder as Ben read the entry.]

[He couldn't read the name that had been provided. He could see it, and recognize the S at the start, the R at the end... but he couldn't read the whole thing. Covering over all but a few letters of it, or asking the medic to read it out loud, didn't work either.]

[Interesting.]

Hello. I'm calling myself Ben. I'm afraid I can't read your name.

So what series astromech are you?

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 03:30:42 UTC

THAT'S OKAY, IT'S PRONOUNCED "BEEP" ANYWAY. ALTERNATIVELY, "EXALTED ONE" WAS MY SECOND CHOICE.

[ Pauses... for a very long time, for a computer. Which is not such a long time for a human. Maybe a second or so. ]

R-SERIES.

marrymarajade March 28 2011, 03:41:36 UTC

Sounds like you've had to work with Hutts. All right. Beep, then, if you don't mind.

The best one. I guess your designation was wiped?

swissarmybot March 28 2011, 04:27:06 UTC

MORE LIKE CORRUPTED OR ENCRYPTED. CAN'T VERIFY WHICH.

[ And he finds that kind of disturbing, not gonna lie. ]

Thread 25

/fails at hiatus BUT CANNOT PASS THIS UP man_genius March 28 2011, 03:39:40 UTC

[Somebody is staring at his journal in shock]

Skywalker?!

Wait I know that name! B--

[The B is more of a jagged line as Genius stops himself from blurting out private information over the journals. He hasn't talked to Ben since the incident so it's doubly awkward.]

<3 /LOVES YOU FOR IT swissarmybot March 28 2011, 04:20:56 UTC

[ ... Not sure how to respond to that. ]

MAYBE WE KNOW EACH OTHER?

<3 <3 man_genius March 28 2011, 04:55:13 UTC

...I'm pretty sure I don't know any droids.

[pause]

But you may want to talk to Ben. The one that's writing to you up there. [He draws an arrow to Ben's writing.]

I'm pretty sure you're the droid he's looking for.

[and now he has a headache. Stupid Star Wars people.]

marrymarajade March 28 2011, 05:06:38 UTC

[Ben noticed the arrow. He has to ask this journal's real owner whose writing this was - "Genius, of course. ...Didn't you two...?" - and he considers for a moment. Then, a bit tentatively-]

I'm not all machine, you know. Maybe ten percent.

Thread 12