a rope over the
roof beam he was already
halfway to heaven

I tested the coat rack bar at work today to see if it would support my dead weight.

R-I-P-ley. I keep trying to picture what he would look like in a state of positional asphyxiation. I tried to see his body but by the time I got to the funeral parlor he'd already been put in the oven. No corpse left. Not even a bone to dig up. I wonder if he was sweating when he died. Probably. He sweated like nobody's business. What was I ( Read more... )

Just signed a death certificate for a man found hanging. An 80-year old man. One has to wonder how he found the strength in his aged arthritic arms to throw a rope over the roof beam. He was already halfway to heaven and it's a beautiful day. Too bad I couldn't have taken him out for a cocktail first. Gone to a movie. Walked on the beach. ( Read more... )

It isn't as if I haven't anything better to do. But really, I haven't anything better to do. I haven't bagged a body in months. Truly. The last one was about 147 years old and living in hillbilly squalor with a view. The whole riding in the hearse assisting with embalmings and preceeding caskets down the aisle was the most fun I've had in ages ( Read more... )

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: Very High
Antisocial: Moderate
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate