I survived the weekend and the hard anniversary. Actually, "survived" is a bit of a misleading description. The weekend was accidentally redeemed in the most surprising way ( Read more... )

I wish I could eternally sunshine my whole mind.

I need a solution. I cannot continue operating at this level.

Saturday marks seven years since my mom died. The first five years were all very difficult - especially the first anniversary. I followed that up with an almost complete mental breakdown - which resulted in the end of a relationship and the conception of a child (I'm grateful for both). But after that, things got a bit easier. The memory was sad, ( Read more... )

I have discovered that it's so much easier not to give a shit about stuff. Phew. The relief is enormous ( Read more... )

Maybe it'll be easier when the pregnancy's over and the hormones return to normal.

I'm really hoping so, or I'm in a lot of trouble.

 It feels like it's never going to get here. I've got 8 weeks left and they feel like a year away ( Read more... )

 I have this awful twinge in my gut. The last time I went on maternity leave, I found a replacement to work in my position who was actually better at it than me. I came back to a feeling of complete despair that I had returned - my boss wanted her to stay and for me to go work in another department ( Read more... )

Damien and I have been watching home birth videos with Josh, to help him get ready for the coming event. It's been fascinating to see his reaction. Instead of being upset or confused or panicked or scared, he's delighted by them. Every time a baby emerges, he gasps and smiles. I'm sure there's some level of disconnect - after all, it's not just a ( Read more... )

 And I mean that in the most poetic sense ( Read more... )

 I think this is what marriage is like:

Trying to cover your answers during an exam so the person next to you doesn't see what you're writing, while trying not to appear paranoid about it.