Comments | szaleniec1000: Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 8

szaleniec1000

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 8

Jul 22, 2014 23:43

This chapter is titled "The Milk of Life", and not since Chapter 22 of Too Exposed was called "Joining" have I been more disturbed by a chapter title.

( Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 8 )

show don't tell, google is your friend, a description would be nice, salazar is evil, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, conflict be damned, department of redundancy department, expospeak, thirty contrivance pileup, pov!fail, welsh railway, are you a witch or not, sexism, priorities be damned, the worst birthday, mione my arse, hermione in name only, nudity for everyone, hooch is evil, you fail paediatrics forever, disembodied dialogue, ineffectual villainy, convention of the psychics, brain bleach, harry potter, dialogue is not narration, continuity isn't optional, education system from hell, breast fixation, anticlimax

Comments 30

sickbritkid2 July 26 2014, 07:52:21 UTC

The Americans are coming!

sickbritkid2 July 26 2014, 07:56:46 UTC

Why didn't they just Floo? It'd have been much easier, and you wouldn't have had to make the Hogwarts Express run at midnight on a day it doesn't run.

At least it's keeping in continuity with the Neilverse, where the Express is available on a whim...

sickbritkid2 July 26 2014, 08:02:41 UTC

Jamie clutched Ben to her chest and tried to shield him by turning as best as possible toward the wall.

Wasn't she chained to the wall? How does she have her hands free enough to hold him?

szaleniec1000 July 26 2014, 11:57:23 UTC

Only her legs are tied so she can hold him.

sickbritkid2 July 27 2014, 03:29:42 UTC

...why? Why in the FUCK should these villains suddenly give a damn about this!?

sickbritkid2 July 26 2014, 08:04:24 UTC

Damien was being uncharacteristically gentle. She had expected him to sadistically slash her arm, but instead he had only pricked it enough to cause bleeding.

Lampshading this stupid inconsistency isn't going to help, Neil!

szaleniec1000 July 26 2014, 11:58:50 UTC

There was an actual point but he neglected to include it in the story.

sickbritkid2 July 26 2014, 08:05:33 UTC

Well, of course. The fic is subtitled "Salazar's Return": it'd be a little bit off if Salazar didn't, at some stage, return. Though if this had just been some random dead wizard who had no idea why these people thought he was Slytherin, that might actually have been funny.

Oh my GOD! Just think of how awesome and hilarious it would have been if this all turned out to be a homage to Life of Brian?