I talked to Jon online twice yesterday, and on the phone after my internet went down, but... he had a lot of studying to do. I was trying to keep talking so he wouldn't go. It was sort of panicky of me, but somehow I really didn't want him to go. Finally he said, "I'm sorry, Claire, I should go. I can't do this right now. I miss you too much. Once ( Read more... )

I am keeping my feet elevated to keep the blood from pooling in my toes. I have very bad circulation. It sucks.

I am talking to Lele, which is good. She has been online often recently, which kicks ass.

...now I sort of miss John, even though he got online like freaking half an hour ago. Nowadays? He's the only person I tell almost-everything to ( Read more... )

The world is not enough...I feel okay, and at the same time horrible. This is the moment when two waves collide, and no one knows which one will prevail ( Read more... )

David (Lisa's brother, for those who don't remember...) is leaving for California on Saturday. This is bad news for me. Lust is a powerful thing, I guess. Just after we got together, he has to go and leave ( Read more... )

Someone said something to me that made me realize that I am going to self-destruct if I don't get out of this deadly spiral. I know I won't be alive ten years from now unless something changes. I probably won't even be alive one or two years from now ( Read more... )

I'm heading off to the mall with Lisa. I don't know how long we're supposed to be gone, but I can say with assurance that we'll be gone all day. I'll probably spend hundreds ( Read more... )

Here I am all dressed up and not going anywhere. So how about another rant, seeing how much you all enjoyed the last one?

I seriously need a job. I'm cashing all the checks I have, and pretty soon I'll have to take money out of the bank for spending money, and man, that's not acceptable. I'm not that rich.

I'm sitting here listening to The ( Read more... )

I had this outrageously bad night. My internet went off early, and I was falling apart, but fortunately it came back on... I probably frightened my friends. But everyone was very nice to me, especially Chris, and Britt, and Step and Rydia. Thanks guys. I'm a wreck, but you're so sweet.

The straits of fear... I just feel like writing this long, ( Read more... )

      poetry is lovebrought to you by the isLove Generator

^ That is the TRUTH, yo.

John is lovebrought to you by the isLove Generator

^ And that is even more the truth...

I am so worried about John that it's making me sick. He asked what we were, he and I , in relation to each other... I didn't know what to say, how can you lay a claim on a person you've never met? He's so fabulous. If he dies I'll be lost. He's so smart, but it's like he doesn't want me to help him. I only want to make him happy, that's all I want ( Read more... )