its time again. to go back to therapy. i've known for a while, but..lots of reasons why i didnt do it from the beginning. Mostly, no money. Then, it would fade within in a few days and i'd be functional for a week or two before i'd start feeling it again. i remember the day, upstairs in the townhouse, at the intersection of the stairway and hallway ( Read more... )

I come on. Tons on my mind, and then I look at this blank white screen and dont know where to start. When did this begin again? How did it lightly start slipping in? The constant remembrance of "That was the best time of my life." When I thought I finally made it. Had what I wanted the most and then just as quickly as it appeared, I was only given ( Read more... )

 Really? 
Its always that feeling when I hit the rock at the bottom that brings me back here. 

 Has anyone put a stethoscope (or their ear) to their dogs chest and realized that their heartbeat is completely irregular? At first I thought my dog had some kind of heart palpitation, but after listening to other dogs' hearts, I think that all dogs have irregular heartbeats ( Read more... )

My dog wont stop farting.

In some ways, its easy for me to think that scientists and religion are looking for the exact same thing. They both want to explain the universe and all things in it. And then they go about using different theories that overlap each other, creating the fine distinction called balance..or maybe the truth. Studying science is what made me start to ( Read more... )

The highlight of my week happened today. Probably even the highlight of my month, or possibly even year. Early this morning our station gets a call about a really bad auto accident for our county. It happened about four blocks from the station so our truck was first on scene. A motorcyle and an SUV. The SUV driver was fine but his truck was in ( Read more... )

Its been over a year since I have written in this journal. Figured I would try to remember the password and on the third try...got it ( Read more... )

I made a new journal and I hope you don't find me. 
You pretty much suck anyway. 
And so does this journal.

See you later.

Dear God,

Please don't let me crumble. Please, Please help me.  I don't know who or what else to turn to...and while this is pretty much done out of the moment of panic, I don't want to become the shadow of my past. I guess only You and I know and hold the reigns.
God, I don't know if you are real in a sense of the creator of every being on this ( Read more... )