Everything I know about life...

[t_wistfulheart]

I shouldn't be up this late. Delirium sets in, and there's no telling what strange thoughts may come out. This is of a personal nature. So, if this post hit your friends page just because you were nice enough to friend me so I could read your stories, you don't have to feel obligated to read this.

Comments

[testa_dura]

Karen,

I was so glad to read this - glad that my story touches people on a personal level and glad to know we ALL struggle w/ these same issues.

I'm awed by your ability to see the connection betwen you knowing that Jack could forgive Ennis and what that means for you personally.

He loves me, just maybe not in the way I would have wanted him to. This made me think of a really great book I just read - http://www.amazon.com/Love-Walked-Marisa-los-Santos/dp/0525949178 - let me know if you want to borrow it!

Tes

[t_wistfulheart]

Hey Tes

[testa_dura]

Oh, Karen - that's just a heart-breaking image of your brother. Nothing can ever recompense the two of you for that.

It's an odd coincidence but the "real" book I've been writing (for an 100 years) features w/ a woman dealing w/ a rejecting father. It's based on a cousin of mine. I hate the way so many stories have the dad either caring deep down or coming around or crap like that. I've seen from watching her pain over the years that some assholes never cared and never will. (The worst part for her is he has other kids he actually pays attention to!)

Tes

[grieving_pln]

t_wistfulheart,

Beautiful and heartfelt.

You should write more during the wee hours of the morning. For some, that is when they are the most creative, and the most prolific.

I've figured out how to 'tag and track' your journal now so I'll be sure not to miss anything. :)
g_p

[t_wistfulheart]

Email me?

[oceansbetween]

Life is too short. Damn...is it too short. Why did it take this movie to make me realize what’s been staring me in the face for years?

Could I forgive the one who hurt me? Could I forgive myself for not doing something sooner?

I had to. Grief gives strength to no one and is ultimately an end unto itself. Forgiveness is a starting point. Forgetting? That’s a different matter. But I’m learning.

All the best to you, t_wistfulheart.

[t_wistfulheart]

Why did it take this movie to make me realize what’s been staring me in the face for years?

Maybe it's just enough that it DID.

Forgiveness is a starting point. Forgetting? That’s a different matter. But I’m learning.

Me too. Something I was just relating to another friend:
It really brought me up short to think that I was willing to forgive Ennis having limitations within himself - and then not giving my dad (or other people, for that matter) the same benefit. So really, it was more about me than about him.

And that's only half the trip, too. All those are very mental steps... with a pang of emotion attached to them. But the emotional steps really haven't been made yet. It's more like I've just pointed them out to myself. Lots of work to do on myself yet.

All the best to you, t_wistfulheart.

You, too... thanks so much for your thoughts.
{{{{{{{{O!Barb}}}}}}}}

[ankara28]

I feel very sad for you, but you are doing a good thing,
writing down and talking about how you feel helps to heal.
I believe that movie affected so many of us in so many
different ways. None of us came away without looking at our selfs or others with more understanding about love so
powerful and hate equally so.
You are loved by so many, thank you for sharing.
OXOXOXOX
ankara