Greetings, morons...this location may be compromised, so this article will not be too extensive. As everyone is now undoubtedly aware, I am on the run from the Feds. The FBI put my picture up on their most wanted list last week, so I had to flee the country. Don't worry about me though, I will not be found. In fact, I'm quite enjoying myself as ( Read more... )

MURDER OF JEFF GORDON AND DALE EARNHARDT JR.; CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER AGAINST SOME KID; CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT ROBBERY; CONSPIRACY TO BESMIRCH ANTARCTICA; CONSPIRACY TO MURDER SENIOR CITIZENS; CONSPIRACY TO CORRUPT AMERICA'S YOUTH; CONSPIRACY TO INVOKE SUICIDE UPON AMERICA'S YOUTH; LEWD CONDUCT; INDECENT EXPOSURE, AND MURDER OF COUNTLESS EMO KIDS ( Read more... )

FBI MOST WANTED CRIMINAL

Conspiracy to destroying the United States of America’s wellbeing by infesting George W. Bush with that of malicious taint action.

KILLROY SAHEEM BAHAR ROGERS


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So the other day I was in my limo on my way to Club Taint, the newest and most trendy club in the world, brought to you by Ken and Kill, when my driver saw that we were almost on empty and pulled into the nearest gas station to refuel. Now since he is my personal limo driver I am, of course, responsible for the gas bills. So I look out the window ( Read more... )

Well tickle my taint, I am quite raged at the moment. I was just watching TV and I saw an ad for Coca Cola. For months now Coke has focused on a new campaign that tries to relate to it's moron customers. I call them morons because the majority of Coke's customers are, in fact, moronic enough to buy in to Coke's dumbfuck commercials ( Read more... )

The human body is a fucking pussy. People die too easily. If you get shot in the head, you die. If you get shot in the heart, you die. If you get shot in the stomach, lungs, or any other vital organs, you die, just not as quickly as being shot in the brain or heart. Yeah well, guess what assholes? There is another vital organ in the human ( Read more... )

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So, as everyone knows Valentines Day was a couple of days ago. Well, time to tell our viewers what Ken and I did for our date. About 7:30 on Valentines Day I drove over to Ken’s house. We then had a makeout session until about 8:00. Things were getting pretty wet, but we didn’t want to miss out on our meal at Outback that we had previously ( Read more... )

Kill and I LOVE Superbowl Sunday. Every year when get in full football gear, stock up on the snacks, (I'm in charge of that) and eat some taint before the big game. However, this year, since Kill and I are so popular now, we decide to start our very own football team. The Team is called the "Taintfucks" naturally. We even went as far as to have ( Read more... )

Are you getting picked on everyday after school? Do you get beat up on for no good reason? Well, we have good news, there is a new form of self-defense out on the market now: Wu-Taint.

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