its been awhile kids ( Read more... )

trying to be positive.
really.
i am.

i hurt inside.
i cant seem to figure out why. i dont think its normal to feel this way on Christmas.
not at all.

i have an emptiness that ive been trying to fill for so long. i just dont know what to do. i dont want to bring everyone down with me. no one deserves that but i need someone to hang on to me. im slipping ( Read more... )

yeeeeeah

so im hanging out with sabina
tomorrows Christmas eve but
it doesnt feel like it

im MASSIVELY relieved that finals are the week before i go on the cruise
thank heavens!!!!!!!!!

aaaaaaand i'll only miss 3 days of school! less make up work! this is like...one of the best things thats ever happened to me! ha ha.

im talking to sara claire right ( Read more... )

wow. today is such a weird day! its good...but i feel so like intellectual so yeah idk what the hells goin on.

shelby has pink eye and strep throat so im trying to be careful not to contract either. ahhh...=D!

we cleaned our rooms today when she got back from the doctor so we can open and early xmas present and of course my mother, knowing she has ( Read more... )

wow its really cool that im not going to talk to kevin for 2 effing weeks. and its really cool how i didnt say anything i wanted to say so now i have to wait two weeks to say it. two weeks when i might not even feel the same way anymore. i'll probably think up all these crazy ideas and drive myself mad. im trying to just relax and just think 'he's ( Read more... )

im not sure how to go about doing what i need to do. i dont even know if its what i need to do. im thinking about telling him that we shouldnt talk anymore but tony says that wouldnt be a good idea b/c i'll just miss him more but maybe it'll just make him into a small memory. and eventually. well. nothing.

i mean, he's not benefiting from this ' ( Read more... )

maybe this isnt working out. maybe we should never talk again. but maybe i dont have the heart to say these words. maybe i love you more than you love me. maybe you love her. maybe we'll never see each other again. maybe i'll die of heart ache.

maybe i'll watch practical majic over and over until i suffocate because i'd rather die with memories of ( Read more... )

HEY ALL! i probably wont be writing for a few days cause i'm leaving for cody tomorrow. =)

ummm...yeah so today i got presents from emily, courtney and sabina. woot. sabina gave me red victoria's secret pj pants w/ pink polka dots on them and they say 'pink' on the butt in these patchy things (ADORABLE) and the swiss army romance by dc. its ( Read more... )

i went to the ortho today b/c my mom wanted to see if im having major problemas w/ my teeth. well turns out shelby has way more issues but she cant really get them fixed until shes like 10 and a 1/2 so yeah whatever about that. but me! effing gosh. theyre saying im gonna need an expander for a year and braces for 18 months.
GOOD LORD!
as if i dont ( Read more... )