Maybe independence and control are ideas that separate us from God. I dont need control over my life. My dad thinks I need it to make decisions. I dont want to be independent. I dont mind being dependent on others... on a man, or on Aish, Israel... whatever. You give, and you take. Thats life ( Read more... )

Getting things back in order. Finding where I was, who I was, before the big earthquake...and realizing I can grow from that point forward. Slowly, but surely ( Read more... )

I claim humbleness, and humility. And I grasp faith. And that is how I shall live in the coming days. Because I dont know what I am doing, but I know I Am a devine soul, from God. I belong to my mother, and her mother, and all of our mothers, all the way back to Leah, Rebecca, and Sarai. We are in-tune ( Read more... )

Its finally setting in that Im seeing him in two days. Unreal ( Read more... )

The truth is, Im not, not now at least. So, what am I going to do? Im having second thoughts about traveling right now. Maybe staying, finishing the year at my job, and finishing my thesis while allowing myself breathing space-- is a good thing. I mean, all signs are pointing to positive right now. Ive been exercising again, and shopping again... ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel like I just possess certain knowledge, naturally. For instance in accounting, I get it. But I couldnt do the work if I had to. I understand concepts and ideas, but I cant prove the details. I just know them to be true. Is that like God? TO know God I mean. TO know God but not be able to prove all the facts... but to know that they ( Read more... )

I still taste blood in my mouth. So thats gross. And the codeine makes me so sick that I have to sleep. Its afternoon, I Just woke up again cause the codeine was too much this morning. I have a lot of work to do... and I need to print and study and do stuff. And I feel like such a child because Avi is watching the game on the tv, and I dont want to ( Read more... )

Le-Chaim!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: My Review ( Read more... )

Every time someone dies, I feel it all over again.
And I still havent been to my mothers grave

And so many have died since her
And I dont go to their funerals

I miss my mom terribly. I have to deal. I have to go.
Meechal said she would go with me, she offered.
I should take her up on it.

death is so lame.