Comments | talkstocoyotes: Chapter 26

talkstocoyotes

Chapter 26 - Part 2

Mar 06, 2009 10:10

"No more o’ that now," David warned, glancing toward the door. Ennis followed his glance and saw two women heading toward the table. One of them, a stocky blonde woman about five years older than Ennis, looked like someone’s determinedly youthful grandmother dressed for a business lunch in a knit suit whose shoulder pads suggested that her ( Read more... )

Comments 9

soulan March 6 2009, 21:31:51 UTC

This type of scene must always be difficult to write: a cast of characters sitting around a table, with arrivals and departures, and nothing really happens. You have to make the links between them through dialogue and glances. Must be like having to concentrate on making a cat's cradle when you'd rather throw a lariat.

I feel for Ennis -- the uncertainty about David's reaction to the kiss in the Deep, his "stirrings of anger" about silent partner Vic, his clothes, zoning out and then wondering what he'd agreed to do the next day... all that and hungry, too.

I was so happy to see this update sure do hope you post again relatively soon, as you promised. :)

Yay! retropian March 7 2009, 02:53:49 UTC

So great the story is being continued!

bentgyro March 7 2009, 04:56:12 UTC

So happy to see this update! Now what has Ennis agreed to? I see that Ennis is at last starting to see David in another light! Can't wait for more!
Thank you!

finally read it! LOL! retropian March 9 2009, 06:15:52 UTC

Loved it. I thought it is a very sweet chapter. I like how Ennis is being stretched as a person and his growing care for David. Now I'll have to go back and reread the 1st 25 chapters. Please keep those chapters coming, but only when you feel they're ready.

Re: finally read it! LOL! talkstocoyotes March 19 2009, 15:00:16 UTC

Thanks. But your comment should have been titled "She finally wrote it!!" :-)

Thank You!! milomorris March 13 2009, 03:02:02 UTC

Good update. Its nice to meet some more of the people who live in Duluth. I agree, its difficult to bring so many characters into a story at once. I think you did a fine job.

BTW, I like Vic so far. He's a man after my own heart.

Re: Thank You!! talkstocoyotes March 19 2009, 15:02:14 UTC

Thanks for the encouragement! I'm new to fiction and find dialogue especially difficult so this chapter was a bear.

One thing to remember about Vic, too, is that this scene takes place in 1985. Things had obviously changed drastically since the summer of 1963 when Ennis and Jack met, but this was still twenty-plus years back.