Shades of Grey Chapter 18
Title: Shades of Grey Chapter 18
Author: TalliW
Characters: Stephen Hart, Tom Ryan, Nick Cutter, James Lester, Abby Maitland, Connor Temple, Jenny Lewis, Oliver Leek, Lyle, Finn, Helen Cutter, Ditzy
Rating: K+, T in later chapters
Disclaimer: Primeval is the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Lyle and Finn belong to Fredbassett.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to the wonderful Fredbassett for beta duty.
Summary: Ryan has survived but he isn't the man he was. Can Stephen and Cutter manage to work together to help him? Perhaps Ryan has changed in more ways than it appears on first sight.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17
AN: Due some trouble with a few chapters (stupid me deleted four incidentally which I'm rewriting currently) and because I'm out of town for a few days only one chapter will be posted this week. I'm sorry for the delay.
Chapter 18
Ryan trembled as the alleged hypnosis specialist entered the conference room. Stephen couldn't blame him for being scared. The man had an ugly scar running from two inches above his right brow to the inside corner of his left eye. He looked more like a torturer than a therapist.
Stephen cursed Lester's nefariousness. The impulse to throttle the slippery bureaucrat got stronger with every moment Ryan was afraid.
"Where did you find this guy?" Cutter hissed at Lester. "In an M16 torture chamber?"
"Appearances can be deceiving," Lester declared stoically and motioned the man to begin.
Stephen was just short of calling the whole session off, no matter the consequences, when the man squatted down beside Ryan's chair. With a pleasant voice, he introduced himself to Ryan as Mark and elicited a smile from Ryan when he made a joke about how he looked like a pirate with his scar although he got seasick all the time at the thought of water and boats.
A few minutes later, Ryan was so at ease with the man he leaned backwards, completely relaxed, and obediently closed his eyes.
Stephen was glad Lester had been right for a change. Mark's outward appearance had fooled him and Cutter. Under the mean-looking exterior a warm and gentle man was hidden who quickly had obtained Ryan's confidence.
Fascinated, they watched how Ryan slipped into a trance whilst Mark continued talking in a low, soothing voice which even Lester had difficulties withstanding.
"Tom, in a moment I'm going to begin counting backwards from ten to one. Each number I say is taking you to an even deeper state of relaxation. When I reach one you will find yourself standing in front of a beautiful glittering light. It is waiting to lead you to a magical world. The one you have visited before. Where the dinosaurs live. There you will be aware of everything. You will remember what you've seen, heard and felt the last time you were there but you will not physically experience any of it. It will be like a film is playing out before your eyes. You are totally safe. Nothing can harm you. Are you ready, Tom?"
Ryan nodded faintly and waited for Mark to start counting.
"Ten... go deeper now, Nine... much deeper now. Just relax your body. Eight... A pleasant warm feeling flows through your arms. Seven... your hands. Six... your belly. Five... your legs. Four... your feet. Three... All pressure and tension leaves you. Two... You are totally relaxed now. One... Can you see the light, Tom?
"I can see it. It's beautiful."
"Then go through. Little green lizards are sailing through the air on the other side. Warm air is ghosting over your skin. In the distance, you can see snow-covered mountains. Tom, what else do you see?"
"Some sort of camp. Uncle Nick is there with a pretty lady. And two soldiers. They’re guarding a cage with little monsters."
"Go on. You’re doing well."
"There is something ... It’s followed us. I'm looking down the hill as it attacks. It's the mommy of the monsters. She's very angry. I can't stop her."
Ryan waved his arms around as if trying to ward something off. "No, go away," he pleaded.
Before Ryan could panic, Mark was leading him verbally away from the time in the Permian to a place Ryan considered his safe heaven.
"Tom, is everything all right?"
"I'm fine. I'm at Granny's. We're making cookies for Christmas."
"That's good. Next time you begin to feel unwell you come back to this place. Do you understand?"
"Come back to Granny."
"Yes, Tom, that's right."
"Ask him what happened with him after the attack," Lester whispered. "If Helen Cutter helped him."
"All right, Tom. I want you to go back to the camp now. But later, much later. The attack is long over. The monsters are dead. It's peaceful."
"It isn't peaceful. I can hear them. Little critters running around the hill where I'm laying. Everything hurts and I can't breathe."
Horrified, the four people watched how Ryan made movements in the air as if he was digging himself out before his panic-twisted face relaxed.
"Can I lick out the dish, Granny?" Ryan mumbled and then sucked his finger into his mouth to clean it of something Ryan could only see in his imagination.
"Helen Cutter," Lester reminded the therapist in an urgent tone.
"Yes, James, I'm working on it," Mark replied in a hushed voice. "Don't you see that he isn't reacting well to my suggestions? He should be detached from the events not live through it again. If I'm not careful I will traumatise him more."
A slight worry line creased Mark's forehead as he turned his attention back to his patient.
"Tom, did you see anyone on the hill when you woke up?"
Ryan shook his head in answer. "No, I've been alone. All alone. Even the little critters have run away from me."
"Please go back and take another look. Just to be sure."
Ryan tensed visibly, his bottom lip quivering. "I don't want to. It's nasty there."
"Just a peek, Tom."
A tremor went through Ryan's body and his hands fastened around the armrests. "I'm not going back. I'm staying with Stephen. Forever!"
Mark raised an eyebrow at Ryan's strange announcement. From the corner of his eyes he could see that Lester and his two companions were puzzled about it as well.
"I'll terminate his trance now," Mark announced quietly in Lester's direction. "There seems to be a barrier I can't overcome at the moment. I’ll have to modulate my procedure."
"Not yet. Try again! One last time."
The therapist exhaled, irritated, but still followed Lester's order.
"Tom, there's no danger," Mark said softly as he knelt down next to Ryan's chair. "You're safe. All that happened a long time ago. You are watching it like a film. It's very important to tell me what you've seen. I promise you will feel better afterwards."
"No, you don't understand. The grey monsters will get me if I go back," Ryan whimpered.
The next moment Ryan's eyelids twitched and then opened abruptly. His look darted immediately around the room, a smile of relief spreading over his face as his eyes settled on Stephen.
"That's it. I told you so," Mark grumped.
Not ready to give up yet Lester queried, "Can't you hypnotise him again and continue?"
"No, I can't. You still have a false impression about the possibilities of hypnosis, James. I can't force him to do anything he doesn't subconsciously want. He only would snap out of the trance again."
"What about his amnesia?" Stephen asked. "Can you help him to remember his past? The doctor says his brain is okay."
"Well, I could try working with him through the things he is afraid of facing. Of course in nicer surroundings without interruptions from a bad-tempered bureaucrat," Mark declared with a glare in Lester's direction. "I've got good results with trauma patients through hypnosis. Once the patient has faced up to traumatic events in trance he is often ready to get past the barriers his subconscious mind has erected to protect him. Call my office if you want to make an appointment. Here's my number."
"Thanks, I will think about it."
A little hesitantly, Stephen took the offered business card and shoved it into his jeans pocket then waved to Ryan
"Come on, Tom. The show is over. You can stand up."
Ryan had been waiting for such an instruction and almost flew out of the chair towards Stephen.
"Did it work?" he asked curiously. "Making me remember things I had forgotten?"
"Partway. Don't you have any memories of the session?"
"Only that I was baking cookies with Granny. Really yummy ones. That was fun."
"I can well believe that," Stephen replied smiling. "Would you like to continue working with Mark and see if there are any more nice memories?"
"Sure. I like baking. Can we go now?"
Ryan slipped his hand trustingly in Stephen's and together they made their way briskly through the door.
"Stephen, we haven’t finished yet," Lester called after them with sharpened voice. "I still haven't got my answers."
"Yes, we are finished. I'm taking Tom home. That was enough excitement for today."
Briefly, Lester entertained the thought of sending the guards after them to keep both men from leaving but Cutter's words emphasized what he already knew.
"Let them go. There's only so much Stephen can take," Cutter told him. "If you pressure him any more he’ll throw in the towel and that's certainly the last thing you need."
Disgruntled, Lester swivelled around to the therapist. "There is really nothing you can do right now? What about a truth drug?"
Mark gave a snort. "And how would that help? You can't tell something you don't remember. Short of leading his brain to believe he’s being tortured to a point where self-preservation might override the blockade of his subconscious mind there isn't anything that will get information from Tom Ryan. And I'm not even sure that would work. If he was in Special Forces he has been trained in withholding secrets. Just give me a few months to treat him the normal way and you will get your answers and eventually even your captain back."
"I wouldn't have called you if I had all the time in the world," Lester barked, his body all tensed up and his face showing his displeasure. Then, without any other word, he stalked out of the conference room.
Cutter sized Mark up after Lester had left. "Torture? What sort of a therapist are you?"
Mark met Cutter's look calmly.
"One who's occasionally worked for the Home Office just like you. If you would excuse me now. I have patients waiting for me."
"I see instruction in the courtesy of knocking didn't form any part of your eduction," Lester muttered when Cutter stormed into his office.
"You aren't really thinking about torturing Ryan or making him believe he’s being tortured, are you?" Cutter thundered.
"Cutter, I'm not in the habit of torturing anyone, least of all people with the mind of a child."
"Good. I just wanted to make sure. You seemed very adamant about getting answers."
"Ryan is guarding a lot of secrets. I had hoped to settle any question about his secrecy before they may be raised by his superiors. But no luck, obviously."
"At last we know that Helen hasn't been actively involved."
"Do we really? All we know is that Ryan didn’t see her when he came around. But what about the rest of the two weeks? Perhaps the quack will get more out of Ryan next time."
"Lester, this guy... Mark. What do really you know about him?"
"He's good at what he's doing. What, are you surprised I'm saying that? I concede I don't particularly like him for entirely private reasons. But he's an excellent therapist and he has the clearance to work with bearers of secrets. I'm sure he will try his best to help Ryan."
"Good to hear. Thanks, Lester."
"You’re are welcome. Glad I could be of help in laying your fears to rest. Was there anything else you wanted to clarify?"
"No, not at the moment. I should go... back to work now."
"Sounds like a plan. I'm still missing several reports from you."
"I sent the last to you just yesterday," Cutter said with a frown.
"Reports, Cutter, not mile-long essays about evolutionary zoology. Short, precise reports people without scientific backgrounds can understand."
The corner of Lester’s mouth twitched in amusement when Cutter stormed out of the office at the same pace he'd entered.
Author: TalliW
Characters: Stephen Hart, Tom Ryan, Nick Cutter, James Lester, Abby Maitland, Connor Temple, Jenny Lewis, Oliver Leek, Lyle, Finn, Helen Cutter, Ditzy
Rating: K+, T in later chapters
Disclaimer: Primeval is the property of Impossible Pictures. I write just for fun.
Lyle and Finn belong to Fredbassett.
Acknowledgments: Thanks to the wonderful Fredbassett for beta duty.
Summary: Ryan has survived but he isn't the man he was. Can Stephen and Cutter manage to work together to help him? Perhaps Ryan has changed in more ways than it appears on first sight.
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17
AN: Due some trouble with a few chapters (stupid me deleted four incidentally which I'm rewriting currently) and because I'm out of town for a few days only one chapter will be posted this week. I'm sorry for the delay.
Chapter 18
Ryan trembled as the alleged hypnosis specialist entered the conference room. Stephen couldn't blame him for being scared. The man had an ugly scar running from two inches above his right brow to the inside corner of his left eye. He looked more like a torturer than a therapist.
Stephen cursed Lester's nefariousness. The impulse to throttle the slippery bureaucrat got stronger with every moment Ryan was afraid.
"Where did you find this guy?" Cutter hissed at Lester. "In an M16 torture chamber?"
"Appearances can be deceiving," Lester declared stoically and motioned the man to begin.
Stephen was just short of calling the whole session off, no matter the consequences, when the man squatted down beside Ryan's chair. With a pleasant voice, he introduced himself to Ryan as Mark and elicited a smile from Ryan when he made a joke about how he looked like a pirate with his scar although he got seasick all the time at the thought of water and boats.
A few minutes later, Ryan was so at ease with the man he leaned backwards, completely relaxed, and obediently closed his eyes.
Stephen was glad Lester had been right for a change. Mark's outward appearance had fooled him and Cutter. Under the mean-looking exterior a warm and gentle man was hidden who quickly had obtained Ryan's confidence.
Fascinated, they watched how Ryan slipped into a trance whilst Mark continued talking in a low, soothing voice which even Lester had difficulties withstanding.
"Tom, in a moment I'm going to begin counting backwards from ten to one. Each number I say is taking you to an even deeper state of relaxation. When I reach one you will find yourself standing in front of a beautiful glittering light. It is waiting to lead you to a magical world. The one you have visited before. Where the dinosaurs live. There you will be aware of everything. You will remember what you've seen, heard and felt the last time you were there but you will not physically experience any of it. It will be like a film is playing out before your eyes. You are totally safe. Nothing can harm you. Are you ready, Tom?"
Ryan nodded faintly and waited for Mark to start counting.
"Ten... go deeper now, Nine... much deeper now. Just relax your body. Eight... A pleasant warm feeling flows through your arms. Seven... your hands. Six... your belly. Five... your legs. Four... your feet. Three... All pressure and tension leaves you. Two... You are totally relaxed now. One... Can you see the light, Tom?
"I can see it. It's beautiful."
"Then go through. Little green lizards are sailing through the air on the other side. Warm air is ghosting over your skin. In the distance, you can see snow-covered mountains. Tom, what else do you see?"
"Some sort of camp. Uncle Nick is there with a pretty lady. And two soldiers. They’re guarding a cage with little monsters."
"Go on. You’re doing well."
"There is something ... It’s followed us. I'm looking down the hill as it attacks. It's the mommy of the monsters. She's very angry. I can't stop her."
Ryan waved his arms around as if trying to ward something off. "No, go away," he pleaded.
Before Ryan could panic, Mark was leading him verbally away from the time in the Permian to a place Ryan considered his safe heaven.
"Tom, is everything all right?"
"I'm fine. I'm at Granny's. We're making cookies for Christmas."
"That's good. Next time you begin to feel unwell you come back to this place. Do you understand?"
"Come back to Granny."
"Yes, Tom, that's right."
"Ask him what happened with him after the attack," Lester whispered. "If Helen Cutter helped him."
"All right, Tom. I want you to go back to the camp now. But later, much later. The attack is long over. The monsters are dead. It's peaceful."
"It isn't peaceful. I can hear them. Little critters running around the hill where I'm laying. Everything hurts and I can't breathe."
Horrified, the four people watched how Ryan made movements in the air as if he was digging himself out before his panic-twisted face relaxed.
"Can I lick out the dish, Granny?" Ryan mumbled and then sucked his finger into his mouth to clean it of something Ryan could only see in his imagination.
"Helen Cutter," Lester reminded the therapist in an urgent tone.
"Yes, James, I'm working on it," Mark replied in a hushed voice. "Don't you see that he isn't reacting well to my suggestions? He should be detached from the events not live through it again. If I'm not careful I will traumatise him more."
A slight worry line creased Mark's forehead as he turned his attention back to his patient.
"Tom, did you see anyone on the hill when you woke up?"
Ryan shook his head in answer. "No, I've been alone. All alone. Even the little critters have run away from me."
"Please go back and take another look. Just to be sure."
Ryan tensed visibly, his bottom lip quivering. "I don't want to. It's nasty there."
"Just a peek, Tom."
A tremor went through Ryan's body and his hands fastened around the armrests. "I'm not going back. I'm staying with Stephen. Forever!"
Mark raised an eyebrow at Ryan's strange announcement. From the corner of his eyes he could see that Lester and his two companions were puzzled about it as well.
"I'll terminate his trance now," Mark announced quietly in Lester's direction. "There seems to be a barrier I can't overcome at the moment. I’ll have to modulate my procedure."
"Not yet. Try again! One last time."
The therapist exhaled, irritated, but still followed Lester's order.
"Tom, there's no danger," Mark said softly as he knelt down next to Ryan's chair. "You're safe. All that happened a long time ago. You are watching it like a film. It's very important to tell me what you've seen. I promise you will feel better afterwards."
"No, you don't understand. The grey monsters will get me if I go back," Ryan whimpered.
The next moment Ryan's eyelids twitched and then opened abruptly. His look darted immediately around the room, a smile of relief spreading over his face as his eyes settled on Stephen.
"That's it. I told you so," Mark grumped.
Not ready to give up yet Lester queried, "Can't you hypnotise him again and continue?"
"No, I can't. You still have a false impression about the possibilities of hypnosis, James. I can't force him to do anything he doesn't subconsciously want. He only would snap out of the trance again."
"What about his amnesia?" Stephen asked. "Can you help him to remember his past? The doctor says his brain is okay."
"Well, I could try working with him through the things he is afraid of facing. Of course in nicer surroundings without interruptions from a bad-tempered bureaucrat," Mark declared with a glare in Lester's direction. "I've got good results with trauma patients through hypnosis. Once the patient has faced up to traumatic events in trance he is often ready to get past the barriers his subconscious mind has erected to protect him. Call my office if you want to make an appointment. Here's my number."
"Thanks, I will think about it."
A little hesitantly, Stephen took the offered business card and shoved it into his jeans pocket then waved to Ryan
"Come on, Tom. The show is over. You can stand up."
Ryan had been waiting for such an instruction and almost flew out of the chair towards Stephen.
"Did it work?" he asked curiously. "Making me remember things I had forgotten?"
"Partway. Don't you have any memories of the session?"
"Only that I was baking cookies with Granny. Really yummy ones. That was fun."
"I can well believe that," Stephen replied smiling. "Would you like to continue working with Mark and see if there are any more nice memories?"
"Sure. I like baking. Can we go now?"
Ryan slipped his hand trustingly in Stephen's and together they made their way briskly through the door.
"Stephen, we haven’t finished yet," Lester called after them with sharpened voice. "I still haven't got my answers."
"Yes, we are finished. I'm taking Tom home. That was enough excitement for today."
Briefly, Lester entertained the thought of sending the guards after them to keep both men from leaving but Cutter's words emphasized what he already knew.
"Let them go. There's only so much Stephen can take," Cutter told him. "If you pressure him any more he’ll throw in the towel and that's certainly the last thing you need."
Disgruntled, Lester swivelled around to the therapist. "There is really nothing you can do right now? What about a truth drug?"
Mark gave a snort. "And how would that help? You can't tell something you don't remember. Short of leading his brain to believe he’s being tortured to a point where self-preservation might override the blockade of his subconscious mind there isn't anything that will get information from Tom Ryan. And I'm not even sure that would work. If he was in Special Forces he has been trained in withholding secrets. Just give me a few months to treat him the normal way and you will get your answers and eventually even your captain back."
"I wouldn't have called you if I had all the time in the world," Lester barked, his body all tensed up and his face showing his displeasure. Then, without any other word, he stalked out of the conference room.
Cutter sized Mark up after Lester had left. "Torture? What sort of a therapist are you?"
Mark met Cutter's look calmly.
"One who's occasionally worked for the Home Office just like you. If you would excuse me now. I have patients waiting for me."
"I see instruction in the courtesy of knocking didn't form any part of your eduction," Lester muttered when Cutter stormed into his office.
"You aren't really thinking about torturing Ryan or making him believe he’s being tortured, are you?" Cutter thundered.
"Cutter, I'm not in the habit of torturing anyone, least of all people with the mind of a child."
"Good. I just wanted to make sure. You seemed very adamant about getting answers."
"Ryan is guarding a lot of secrets. I had hoped to settle any question about his secrecy before they may be raised by his superiors. But no luck, obviously."
"At last we know that Helen hasn't been actively involved."
"Do we really? All we know is that Ryan didn’t see her when he came around. But what about the rest of the two weeks? Perhaps the quack will get more out of Ryan next time."
"Lester, this guy... Mark. What do really you know about him?"
"He's good at what he's doing. What, are you surprised I'm saying that? I concede I don't particularly like him for entirely private reasons. But he's an excellent therapist and he has the clearance to work with bearers of secrets. I'm sure he will try his best to help Ryan."
"Good to hear. Thanks, Lester."
"You’re are welcome. Glad I could be of help in laying your fears to rest. Was there anything else you wanted to clarify?"
"No, not at the moment. I should go... back to work now."
"Sounds like a plan. I'm still missing several reports from you."
"I sent the last to you just yesterday," Cutter said with a frown.
"Reports, Cutter, not mile-long essays about evolutionary zoology. Short, precise reports people without scientific backgrounds can understand."
The corner of Lester’s mouth twitched in amusement when Cutter stormed out of the office at the same pace he'd entered.