Shibusa

[talon]

For cislynA long time ago, when dragons and demons roamed the lands of the Jade Empire, when Tang Seng had yet to make his Journey to the West with Song Wu Kong and Niulang had just fallen in love with Zhinu, there was a little boy growing up called Xiaodi - in our tongue, little brother

Comments

[jexia]

curiosily => curiously

I think this is my favourite piece of yours. Great work.

[talon]

Thanks! I went through and fixed a few more typos, too.

I'm really glad you liked it - it's a pretty far way off the beaten path for me, but I really wanted to write something for Shibusa (I thought it was a harder but also more interesting topic than Rapture of the Deep). And while Shibusa is a Japanese term, I thought that I'd borrow upon my parents' mythologies to spin a tale of the once upon a far east.

At one point, I think a dragon was going to appear, but I think it would've needed another thousand words or so.

[jexia]

Heh heh, I know what you mean. "Whoa, there, story!"

[lrig_rorrim]

This is amazing, and I'm so incredibly thrilled with it. Thank you for writing this for me. I'm delighted that this awesome fairy tale is in the world now. :)

[talon]

:) Me too. Now, isn't it your turn? ;)

[tsuki_no_bara]

i really love the fairy-tale feel of this, and i don't think it needs a dragon at all. it's much better for being less, uh, complicated. i really want to see the tiny city, tho, with all its tiny people.

[talon]

I think there is a balance to be struck there, of simplicity versus complexity. To add the dragon would probably develop it more into a hero's journey style epic myth than a fairy tale with one lesson and one ending, it's true.

[suesniffsglue]

This is the perfect use of shibusa. Such a gorgeous story with an incredible lesson, and well-told at that. I love this.

[talon]

:) Thank you!

[bleodswean]

This is a wonderful interpretation of the prompt and was an utter delight to read.

[talon]

Thank you kindly!