If I didnt have a live dove in my pants right now, I would leap across this table and...

[tamagachi]

The dog had fleas and because he was licking himself raw, I had to put a cone on him.

Ever since he's been wearing this awful thing, there have been some funny street exchanges:

- "Look, a conehead"
- "Hey cone-dog"
- "It's a furry gramophone!"
- Father says to his little son, "Look, is that a Bichon?"  
"No," replies the child. 
"No, then what is it?" 

Comments

[pixiesrule]

i dont know about knives in appliances but i CAN tell you that if you loosen the correct electrical wiring inside the walls of your bath/shower you can get shocked by the hot/cold knobs. found that out through experience.

and the bumper sticker reminds me of my brilliant money making scheme, which also happens to involve unsafe amounts of reading while driving. first lets just establish that bumper stickers are cool, but so old fashioned. i mean, they only let you say one thing at a time, and you have to get out, peel it off, and put a different one on to change your message to drivers behind you. this is why we need a specially designed scrolling marquee for cars. that way, you can specify, like "wheres your turning signal buttface?" or "if you can read this then back off my tail"

[tamagachi]

Julie Noe and I hatched this same scrolling marquee idea in high school ! It needs to happen.

[pixiesrule]

yes, let's do it. it's either that or a PA system.

[tamagachi]

Or both. I also always thought that there should be a throat-clearing sound for when you just want to budge someone into moving at a light. Horns are unnecessary, impolite and obnoxious.