It hit me really hard last night; like a two ton weight. I feel like I'm losing myself weekly. I don't have any concept of what's real anymore. I fret over ridiculous things, and it's ruining me and the relationships I've worked so hard to build. Last night I walked out on Jeff. I never thought I would do that. I spent hours regretting it. I ( Read more... )

So I just got back from Jeff's show in Beloit. It was amazing, and I love all those boys to death. They make me incredibly happy, I won't lie. To make the situation even better, I get to see them tomorrow as well at Shorewood Legion Hall. Yippy!

Oh yeah, and I love my boyfriend with all my heart. Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking. You ( Read more... )

So it's raining like hell outside. I went out for a cigarette before in slippers & pajama pants only to realize that it's pouring rain out there. I ended up having to go all the way back inside before I could light up. Go figure. It kind of seems like my luck.

I spent ALL day today (literally) cleaning my room. I'm talking about vacuuming, ( Read more... )

Lately I haven't been feeling the best. In fact, that is an understatement. I've been feeling very alone, helpless, and depressed. Most of these feelings arise from the fact that I have absolutely no money and am completely in debt.

The thing is, I need money to see my boyfriend. I need money to do everything in my life. Today, my cell phone ( Read more... )

It's been a really great weekend, I must admit.

I have come to the conclusion, though, that I absolutely despise money. It's almost as if nothing is possible without it, but I can't help to want to burn every single piece and pee on the ashes. That's right.

I spent virtually the entire weekend with my boyfriend. I love it, because we're both ( Read more... )

So it's like 12:30pm on a Saturday afternoon and I'm extremely bored. I've already cleaned up & stuff like that, so I'm just sitting on the internet, as usual. My boyfriend is late. :D

I realized today more than ever what a clean freak I am. On the right hand side of my desk, I had a few random dishes sitting there (clean) ready to be put away. ( Read more... )

So I'm sitting in my room with Patrick and we're watching a series of Kung-fu movies. He's working on his wire project for 3D Design and I'm blogging. I had a different LJ, but decided to get another one because well, I'll actually blog on this one.

Anyway, I've been struggling with this whole "changing major" thing. I haven't really decided what ( Read more... )