i feel the need to scream but no voice will come out. im so depressed and alone. i know it was my choice to be this way and in time i wont let it bother me that im not going to bed with him, but it still hurts. it hurts that i get called all these horrible names and talked to in a bad way even still after 8 months of trying to make it up to him. im ( Read more... )

i hate feeling this way. always fucking things up because no matter what i do right im always reminded of the things i did wrong. i have come to the conclusion that i can never have anyone close to me without them getting pissed off. im not a horrible person. im a good person who tends to forget about other peoples feelings. i hurt everyday. every ( Read more... )

its hard to gain trust when youve already fucked things up. im sorry for what i have done in the past and i have some regrets. i dont know if anyone will ever forgive me for anything i have done but i hope they do. i am trying to change and become a better person but this is what i know right now. i have a headache trying to figure things out and ( Read more... )

i really miss my boy.....ive been sad about it all night

how come whenever i have a really good day, it always turns out shitty. like today. i passed my german final and my chapter 4 test. woot to the 91/100! then the whole class was a blast, there was cake and singing and laughter and joyful times. hehe but noo...couldnt just walk away from that one being fun and nice. no, instead my phone is turned off ( Read more... )

so this morning i went to safehouse and got a dirty look from ivy who was talking to the barista. the same ivy that wanted me and cherry to work with her. the same one that made conversation and complemented me on my outfits and hair. and now im getting dirty looks, not even a half smile. how did i get made into public enemy #1. i know cherry wasnt ( Read more... )

im really sad that cherry isnt talking to me. i dont know what i did or why. how could it have turned so bitter. i really did love her as a friend, and i still do. and it hurts me how much i miss her. it really sucks. and im trying to get over it, but i need some closer. she wont even respond to my emails. well, my heart goes out to you, my mew, ( Read more... )

my ear is so stuffed up right now. i hate it. i can barely hear anything. bleh i hate being sick, but at least my voice turns all raspy esp after i smoke and i like it. not much else going on, same old bullshit as always. its actually getting cold out. thats pretty nice. yeah....i dunno. thats all

ok, so now im really sick. i was feeling ok before but now im hacking up stuff and i feel cold and dried up and its not a good feeling. bleh bleh bleh i hate being sick!! esp when i already ditched my classes last week so i cant do it this week. suck

well i had an awesome night last night despite the fact that i was hungover and drunk at the same time...i dont know how thats possible. but yeah, now i have a cold. bleh..i feel like ass.