My gratitude is far greater than this post reflects.
Brain... not... working...
But big thanks to china_shop and sageness for organizing and running ds_match. It's been such great fun and has brought about such wonderful stories! Thanks for everything you do for fandom.
And There We Were
“And there we were, man against polar bear, both at peak physical condition for our respective species, if I may say so, but only one of us blessed by nature with a decided height and weight advantage and a nasty set of claws. Then again, only one of us had opposable thumbs.”
“Dad, is there a point to this story?”
“Slashers, son.”
“Slashers?”
“Never underestimate them. You may think they only have opposable thumbs going for them, but they possess an array of other qualities that make them quite formidable when they have a mind to be.”
“What are-”
“You know, the people who write those stories where you’re sweet on the Yank. Or the other Yank. Or Turnbull, if they have a hankering for it. Be wary, son. They’re wily, and unpredictable. And above all, they are organized. Why, if that polar bear had had the cognitive skills to be organized, I wouldn’t be standing here talking to you today. Come to think of it, neither would you. That was before I met your mother.”
“Dad! What on Earth are you talking about?”
“They’ve organized a match, son. They’re treating your love life as a sport! There are teams and voting and secrecy and the like. And it’s all thanks to two people.”
“Hardened members of the criminal element, I take it?”
“No, son, I told you. Slashers. A slow mind is the sign of a deteriorating body. You might want to look into your diet.”
“Thank you, Dad. Are there any leads into who the ringleaders are?”
“Oh, it’s all very mysterious. They use nomes de plume and contact each other through the internet. But you’ll find them. They’re very keen on you always getting your man.”
Thank you, china_shop and sageness!
Disclaimer: I totally stole the concept of humanity's triumph due to opposable thumbs from eliade. That is one funny writer.
But big thanks to china_shop and sageness for organizing and running ds_match. It's been such great fun and has brought about such wonderful stories! Thanks for everything you do for fandom.
And There We Were
“And there we were, man against polar bear, both at peak physical condition for our respective species, if I may say so, but only one of us blessed by nature with a decided height and weight advantage and a nasty set of claws. Then again, only one of us had opposable thumbs.”
“Dad, is there a point to this story?”
“Slashers, son.”
“Slashers?”
“Never underestimate them. You may think they only have opposable thumbs going for them, but they possess an array of other qualities that make them quite formidable when they have a mind to be.”
“What are-”
“You know, the people who write those stories where you’re sweet on the Yank. Or the other Yank. Or Turnbull, if they have a hankering for it. Be wary, son. They’re wily, and unpredictable. And above all, they are organized. Why, if that polar bear had had the cognitive skills to be organized, I wouldn’t be standing here talking to you today. Come to think of it, neither would you. That was before I met your mother.”
“Dad! What on Earth are you talking about?”
“They’ve organized a match, son. They’re treating your love life as a sport! There are teams and voting and secrecy and the like. And it’s all thanks to two people.”
“Hardened members of the criminal element, I take it?”
“No, son, I told you. Slashers. A slow mind is the sign of a deteriorating body. You might want to look into your diet.”
“Thank you, Dad. Are there any leads into who the ringleaders are?”
“Oh, it’s all very mysterious. They use nomes de plume and contact each other through the internet. But you’ll find them. They’re very keen on you always getting your man.”
Thank you, china_shop and sageness!
Disclaimer: I totally stole the concept of humanity's triumph due to opposable thumbs from eliade. That is one funny writer.