Just posting to wave hello, I'm alive, I'm maintaining. I haven't been online; mostly, I've been pacing out daily routines, or holding onto the rope of routine like taking steps through a white-out between lean-tos...and trying to make the first part of this sentence readable was effortful, so I think I'll just leave it at a wave for today.

The week to two-week placement I'm currently in has turned into a potentially long-term month-to-month opportunity, and I accepted the offer this morning from the program manager at Pioneer Housing. It's a low-cost transitional housing program that offers free addiction counseling services--one on one, group--as well as job placement assistance. It ( Read more... )

LiveJournal is branding itself as "A global community of friends who share your unique passions and interests." My unique passions; those which I share globally ( Read more... )

My grandfather died, my mother's father. My mom's death hit him hard in his weakened state; his health had been failing for the last few years since my grandmother's death ( Read more... )

Today isn't a good day. I don't feel present or alive in my body. Now that I've experienced a different state of mind for comparison, I'm aware of how absent and dead I've been for the last thirty years, as if what's walking around is just a poor sixth-generation copy of the cells I was born with. This kind of existence is worse than a state of ( Read more... )

The day I made my last post was one of the strangest days of my life. I will probably put it down to a confluence of events--viral sinus infection, a sudden surge in Wellbutrin efficacy, a fever spike, unmonitored Nyquil consumption. But after I posted and went back to the shelter, I had a strong premonition of death...which didn't pan out, ( Read more... )

I feel as if I'm posting fugitively again, from my seat here in the downtown Seattle Public Library. Each time I visit, more significance becomes associated with the actions; the people around me are on missions tense and meaningful. The pressure of compressed time pushes me; I keep forgetting to choose a length longer than the default thirty ( Read more... )

It's been a long week. I tried to kick off my cold but it stayed around. For days now, I've been talking as if I just smoked sixty years of cigarettes. I just roused myself out of bed for the second time today, leaving behind three other snoring, humanish lumps in the bunks around me. When I was depressed on my own, wasting life and time, it seemed ( Read more... )

In the last few days I've managed to drop my laptop off the top bunk and lose my voice to some kind of throat infection. So I really have been offline in more than one way ( Read more... )

Overnight I picked up sore throat crud. Came down here to cafe to get hot tea and check on e-mail from my brother, but will probably go back to bed. At some point soon I need to make it to a local funeral home affiliate and sign some paperwork to release my mom's body for cremation ( Read more... )