The United States of America of Friends

[tazira]

Did you ever feel like the United States of America of friends? You're the first one out there with support when somebody else just had the equivalent of an earthquake. You're not perfect, but you really do try to be decent. (Okay, you're gauche as hell, you dress badly, and you talk and laugh too loudly, but your heart is generally in the right

Comments

[leiacat]

You gave him a second chance because of who you are, which is not at all an idiot. I'm proud to know you, my dear, and the way you see the best in people and give them chances is inspiring.

Not giving him a third because of who he is being - a fine choice too, and I'm no less proud.

His message was clearly optimized for maximum bitterness and pain. I am sorry you had to live through that. You don't have a thing to blame yourself for.

[tazira]

Yeah, I'm not blaming myself for this one, I'm blaming him. I'm sorry for whatever he's going through, because it clearly has very little to do with us, but I'm tired of being collateral damage. I haven't done anything to deserve that of him. And neither has Josh, let's be honest. Rejection isn't easy, and it isn't fun, but Lou is a grown-ass man. Suck it up. We've all had to deal with it, a lot, and will again and again for as long as we keep acting. And on the directing side, telling someone you don't have a role for them this time around is the hardest, worst thing about that hard, lousy job. It's hard to hear, it's harder to say. Lou's done both, he should have the maturity to know.

[leiacat]

I meant you need not blame yourself for having given him that second chance. Does not make you an idiot. What it makes him I shan't say, except broken and lonely and self-sabotaging.

[sharrainchains]

Sorry that he failed to follow through - and that he hurt you this way. It really sounds as if you made the right decisions: to give the second chance and to realise when you have helped enough.

And thank you so much for the concept of the United States of friends. It will help me to think of myself as a great nation ... rather than as a complete chump!

[tazira]

You are DEFINITELY not a chump, lady. You're a tremendous person to know. And a good friend to those who are lucky enough to have you.

[vvalkyri]

Oy :(

[tazira]

Yeah. It was pretty stunning, a long, badly-spelled email full of so much vitriol I wonder how long he'd been holding on to it.

[_blackjack_]

Um, yeah, all the time. I have had so many people who were dear to me suddenly (and often without explanation) cut me off and treat me like I don't exist, that it's almost become funny. Almost. It seems like the reward for loyalty is to be trampled on. I would never do that to someone I had cared about, unless they had committed a crime against me. What hurts most is the realization that the other person doesn't even feel your absence, that whatever efforts you made to be in their life were inconsequential enough to be thrown away.

Be glad you at least got a poorly-spelled vitriolic email. I'm stuck with living the rest of my life not knowing why people I love decided to hate me.

[tazira]

Wow, I can't believe I missed this comment, and I'm just now catching it, months after the fact. I'm sorry for the delay. I feel you on a lot of that; I've lost friends that way, too. If anything, I think you're right, that's worse. I'd rather have someone break with me spectacularly than cut me off with no explanation. That always leaves you wondering, "Was it me? The hell did I do?"

I'm really very canine. Big, affectionate, loyal, not very bright. Periodically I lick people's faces and chase car bumpers. And I wonder what I did to be whapped on the snout with a rolled-up newspaper. Or abandoned by the roadside. I feel you there.