tbbt fic: But Now I'm Found [1/2]
Title: But Now I'm Found
Pairings: Leonard/Penny, Leonard/OC
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoilers up until the end of season 3.
Word Count: 15,479
Summary: Ten years ago, Penny moved away from Pasadena to a job in New York as a screenwriter. Now, after multiple rejections, she starts to question where she’s going in life, and starts to feel lost. Until one night, she finds a box in the back of her closet, reminding her of Leonard. She sets off on a journey to find him and reunite with the person that she hasn’t seen in ten years. Meanwhile, a certain girl in Leonard’s office attempts to ask him out. Will Penny make it to Leonard in time, or will she lose him to this girl?
A/N: First off, I have to say several apologies because I know this is late. Something came up and I didn't get a chance to post it earlier. Written for bigbangbigbang . Author is tbbtllh . Special thanks to tobimonkee for the art! :D
“Molly, what is this all about?” Leonard held up a ragged piece of paper, a name and phone number scrawled across the sheet in messy handwriting. In his other hand, he was holding a wrinkled brown briefcase stuffed with his laptop and various papers. Books with complicated covers were tucked neatly under his arm. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt, his blazer unbuttoned and his tie loosened around his neck.
“Oh, some executive called. Said he wants to meet with you. Something about an amazing job opportunity. He wants you to call him back as soon as possible.”
Molly, perched in the desk next to Leonard’s office, was armed with two cell phones, a pager, and a very complex headset. The words, “Molly Jones, Secretary,” were plastered on the side of her desk. She had long blonde hair that draped her shoulders and glasses that brightened her blue eyes. Her fingernails were painted a dull pink and she was smartly dressed in a white blouse and navy skirt and jacket. A petite woman, she was almost as tall as Leonard when she stood up.
“Okay, thanks,” replied Leonard. He pushed the door to his office open and threw his books and briefcase down on the carpeted floor. The pager that was clipped to the side of his belt was plucked and thrown to the table. The cell phone in his hand was tossed someplace unknown. He flopped down on the couch that was conveniently placed next to the door and closed his eyes. “What an exhausting day,” he mumbled.
He slowly drifted to sleep, the piece of paper slightly crumpled in his hands.
~~~~~
Penny sank into the armchair next to the producer’s office. People were scattered all around her, chattering away on their cell phones, scribbling on notepads. Some people were frantically running around her, cups of coffee in each hand, rushing to some studio head’s office in the near distance. She had her wavy blonde hair messily tied up into a ponytail, resulting in several strands of hair brushing against her fair skin. A charm bracelet sparkled on her wrist, jangling loudly as she moved it. She wore black dress pants and a wrinkled pink blouse, along with a silver necklace.
She was struggling to come up with ideas, her tired eyes screaming exhaustion. She twirled her pen in her hand, the other hand impatiently tapping on the notepad she had in her lap. The notepad donned her neat handwriting, some words crossed out, others frantically added in the margins.
A red-haired woman walked up to her, a bright smile on her face. “Hey, Penny. How’s your screenplay coming?”
Penny looked up and smiled back. “Oh, not too well. I’ve got writer’s block.”
“Aw, that sucks. When does the producer want the script?”
“Um…now.” Penny chuckled uncomfortably.
Just then, the producer’s door flew open and a white-haired, overweight, temperamental man walked out. He stood directly in front of Penny, his dark eyes boring holes right through Penny. The woman behind him subtly backed away as Penny straightened up and cleared her throat.
His voice was hoarse and rough. “Well? Are you done?” Penny looked at him with an uneasy expression. The producer glanced at her notepad and gave her a grimacing look. “You’re fired.”
Penny squeaked, but before she could say anything, the producer had slammed the door and was back in his office. She quietly put her pen in her purse, closed her notepad, stood up, and slowly walked out of the studio. Every step felt heavy and she felt like every pair of eyes was watching her. She had experienced rejection before, but something was different this time. As she got into her car, she started to cry.
“What’s wrong with me?” she mumbled through her tears. “What’s going on?”
Penny had been rejected so many times before. There were times of rejection much worse than the one she had just experienced. Yet she felt crushed. It was like something was missing. Something major.
~~~~~
It had been ten years.
Penny had gotten a job as a screenwriter and was quickly getting offer after offer. Her scripts were amazing, studios had welcomed her, and she was heading to success.
She had broken up with Leonard a few months ago. She knew she overreacted and that breaking up with Leonard was the worst decision she ever made. She knew she desperately wanted her Leonard in her arms again. But she couldn’t look back. It was a new beginning for her this time.
Her fourth script had just been accepted by another studio, and she already raked in a pile of money. It was then that she decided she should move on.
The apartment of 4B was stuffed with boxes and boxes of clothes, makeup, shoes, pots, pans, and magazines. Penny looked around her, a smile forming on her face. She was finally getting the life of fame she wanted.
~~~~~
Leonard was in his bedroom, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head buried in his arms. He was still experiencing the heart-aching scars that accompanied his breaking up with Penny. He never, ever wanted to leave her, but something just happened. And he hated it. Now the love of his life was moving away, and he didn’t even have the guts to get up out of his room and say one final goodbye to her. He knew the farewell would be awkward, but he still longed to see her one last time.
With a sudden rush of confidence, he straightened up and looked at his bedroom door. Leonard got up off his bed, brushed his hair back, and walked out of his room. Every heartbeat echoed in his ears, his face flushed, and his head pounded with every step.
As Penny was taping the last box shut, her apartment door opened. Leonard poked his head inside, his face appearing gloomy and depressed. Penny was sitting on the couch, a roll of tape in her hands and her hair tied back. When her door opened, she looked up and smiled slightly, but no matter how hard he tried, Leonard couldn’t bring himself to return the smile.
“Hi, Penny,” Leonard mumbled quietly.
“Hey, sweetie.”
Leonard was huddled next to the door, reluctant to enter her apartment. He fiddled with the doorknob, unconsciously twisting it back and forth in his hands. “Um…I just wanted to wish you good luck with your new life. I hope your success continues. And…goodbye.”
He was on his way back to his apartment, but Penny stopped him, “Leonard, wait.” He slowly turned around and faced her, his eyes not once making contact with hers. “Sweetie, sit down.” She motioned to the cushion next to her. Leonard very slowly closed the door and shuffled over to the couch, sitting awkwardly far from her. “Listen, I know things have been weird between us since we broke up, but I just want you to know that you’re still my best friend. I don’t ever want to lose you.” He kept his eyes away from her, suddenly finding the rug on Penny’s ground very pleasing to look at. “Leonard…honey, look at me.” He looked up, and Penny could see the despair in his eyes. She could see the pain that he was still experiencing, even though months had passed by. Penny, in response, moved closer to Leonard and held his hands. She looked directly into his eyes. “Leonard, I will always have feelings for you. I will always be your friend. And I’m sorry that I have to leave, but I just need to create a new life for myself. I’m getting nowhere in this place, and now that I have an opportunity to be successful, I don’t want to lose it. I may never get a chance like this again. You understand, right?”
Leonard nodded slowly, silently. Penny was close to tears; she really did not want to leave her life with the four sweetest guys in the world. But she knew she had to. With that, she leaned in and hugged Leonard tightly. He brought his arms around her and returned the hug.
Within minutes, Penny was out of the apartment, in her car, and down the road, never to see Leonard again. He held a special image of her in his heart: Penny in her car, looking back at him, blowing him a kiss and waving one last time. They both knew they could still talk to each other on the phone or email each other, but from that day forward, something unexplainable happened. Because neither of them saw the other person again.
~~~~~
Leonard opened his eyes, his myopia blurring the room around him. He blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes, before putting on his glasses. He groaned, sitting up on the couch and yawned, unintentionally letting the scrap of paper that was in his hands fall to the ground. Sluggishly crawling over to his desk, he looked for his cell phone. He scratched his head, looking under piles of books and papers, searching his pockets, and the couch. After a few minutes of frustration, he ended up on his hands and knees, scanning every inch of his office for his phone.
The door opened, and Molly entered to find Leonard on his stomach, peering under the couch.
She cleared her throat, “Um, Dr. Hofstadter?” Leonard froze and sheepishly looked up at her. “You don’t have to crawl around looking under couches, I can always lend you some money,” Molly smiled.
Leonard chuckled, replying, “I lost my cell phone. Do you know where it is?”
She scanned the room, pointing to the trash can next to his desk. “It appears you’ve thrown it away.”
Leonard looked to where she was pointing and pulled his phone out of the trash, wiping it with the front of his shirt. “How the hell did it get in there…?” He quickly shrugged it off, turning back to Molly. “So, what did you want?”
“Dr. McGraw called again, he’s wondering why you haven’t called him back.”
“Who?”
“Dr. McGraw. The executive whose number I gave you earlier today?”
“Oh, right. I completely forgot about that.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, searching for the number. “Um…”
Molly smiled, plucking the scrap of paper from the ground and handing it to Leonard. “Are you okay, Dr. Hofstadter?”
“Uh, can’t say that I’ve been great today. Why?”
“You’re usually not like this. You’re usually…responsible,” Molly hesitantly replied, afraid she was going to offend Leonard.
“Yeah, I don’t know. Something’s been on my mind, and it’s bugging me.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I wish I could talk about it, but I don’t even know what’s bothering me. Something just feels off, I don’t know,” Leonard shrugged, “Maybe it’s just a bad day for me. Things will be better tomorrow.”
“I hope so,” Molly smiled. She gazed into his eyes. She secretly had a crush on Leonard, but kept it very close to herself. There was no way she was going to let something like this get out and risk losing her job. Besides, it was just a crush. They go away. Don’t they?
Leonard nodded, smiling back. “You can go home if you want. I don’t think there’s anything else you need to do.”
She smiled, nodding quickly, and left his office, leaving Leonard alone with his cell phone and the scrap of paper in his hand.
He sat down on the couch, staring at the number. He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, he just seemed to be floating away into another little world in his subconscious. After snapping back into reality, he dialed the number, hearing two rings before a man’s voice came over the speaker.
“Dr. McGraw’s office.”
“Uh, hi, Dr. McGraw. I’m Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. I was told you wanted to speak with me?”
“Yes, that’s right. How are you, Dr. Hofstadter?”
“I’m very well, thanks for asking. And yourself?”
“Fine, thank you. I called to offer you a very big opportunity. I want you to come and work for us. I want you to be our head researcher.”
“Well, I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m already a head researcher.”
“I understand. But with us, you will be working on one of the biggest opportunities available in the field of physics today. You will be working on…”
~~~~~
Penny tipped the bottle, pouring the last of the wine into her glass before gulping the rest down. She considered opening another bottle, but decided against it as she wasn’t looking forward to a hangover the next morning. She had gotten home from her latest rejection and broke down, tearing apart her notepad and breaking her pencils in half before heading straight to the cupboard for a glass (or five) of wine.
Penny’s apartment was considerably larger than her previous one. It was on the fourth floor and had two bedrooms and one bathroom, as well as a nicely furnished kitchen. She initially wanted to purchase the apartment because the money she was making was so much better than when she was a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. But she was afraid about the hole she might have been digging herself into. She didn’t want to get too invested into the apartment because if she lost her job as a screenwriter, she would have been in a lot of trouble financially. After such a good new life, she didn’t want to deal with that kind of stress. So she took the safe road and rented the apartment. Her living room was decorated with a rainbow of colors, ranging from baby blue to hot pink. She had the same turquoise couch that she had in her old apartment, as well as the same pillows, coffee table, and chairs. There were only a few new items of furniture around the house, like her new silver TV stand and her mahogany cabinet. She didn’t do much to the kitchen, on the other hand, as she didn’t spend much time cooking, so she didn’t care what it looked like. Her vacant bedroom was just that: vacant. It was almost completely empty, except for a few boxes she failed to unpack when she moved in and a couple of old suitcases. Whenever she didn’t want to clean up her apartment for company, she simply threw her stuff in that room and locked the door. Her bedroom, however, looked almost exactly like her old one, except for the new television set on top of her dresser.
She kicked the empty wine bottle aside and groaned loudly, frustration setting in further. Penny got to the point where she started questioning where she was going in life. What was the point of her job if she wasn’t happy? Where am I going to end up? Who am I going to end up with? Question after question cluttered her already scattered brain. Nothing, nowhere, and nobody, were the first answers that came to her mind.
“Oh crap,” she muttered, getting up off the sofa and pacing around the living room of her apartment. She was heading down that depressing path she always went down whenever she got frustrated. And she certainly wasn’t in any mood to start bawling and drinking more alcohol.
So she decided to distract herself. Penny walked to the desk that was against the window of her apartment and turned on her laptop. She sat down, tapping the wooden desk impatiently, waiting for the login screen to appear. A few more minutes passed by before she was signing into her email, scrolling through the 5630 unread messages. She never really went through all of them, she just clicked on the ones that seemed important and left the rest unread. Now seemed like a good time to go through those messages.
After the 1430th message, she found herself clicking on every message and marking them all as read.
“Oh, what the hell,” she muttered, signing out of her email and closing her laptop.
She wandered off to her bedroom, slipping into a t-shirt and sweatpants, not bothering to take a shower before she crawled into bed. Grabbing her cell phone off the nightstand, she went through her voicemail.
You have 4 unread messages. First unread message. *beep*
Hey, Penny. It’s Kathy. I got two tickets to a concert next week, wanna join me? Call me back!
Second unread message. *beep*
Penny, it’s Crystal. I heard about what happened at work. I’m so sorry. If you need someone to talk to, I’m always here for you. Love you sweetie.
Third unread message. *beep*
This is Don Mendez calling for Penny Parker. I received your latest script. It’s a great script, but unfortunately, it’s not the kind of thing we’re looking for at the moment. Thank you for taking the time to-
Penny hit the end button and threw her phone across the bed. She gave up after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and went to sleep.
~~~~~
Molly had stuck around for a few minutes before she went home. She didn’t have much to do besides work, anyway. She was single, lived alone, and most of her life revolved around Leonard’s work schedule. Although she made good money, she lived in a small, furnished apartment just fifteen minutes from Leonard’s office.
Molly hadn’t had a boyfriend in months, either. Her last boyfriend ran out on her after she found out that he was cheating on her with some slut. She was sick of dating immature jerks and decided to boycott dating guys for the time being. She hoped along the way that she would find someone nice, kind, and sweet. Like Leonard.
Clearly, sparking a relationship with her boss could be the worst decision she could ever make. It was ludicrous to even think about it. But that never stopped her from having feelings. These strong, overwhelming feelings that she could hardly control…
She would often turn beet-red or giggle nervously whenever she was near him. But obviously, Leonard never had a clue about how she felt. She would giggle at one of his jokes, and he would smile back, every single hint passing right over his head.
Molly wanted so badly to make a move one day, but she was smart enough to understand that it would probably end in her disappointment. Not only that, but Leonard wasn’t stupid enough to start something with his secretary.
She sighed, and packed up her things before strolling out to her car.
~~~~~
“Thank you, Dr. McGraw.”
“Thank you for calling, Dr. Hofstadter. It was a pleasure to speak to you.”
“So, uh, I will think about your offer and get back to you as soon as possible.”
“There is absolutely no rush, Dr. Hofstadter. No need to rush into anything you are not sure about.”
“Thanks for understanding. Have a good night, Dr. McGraw.”
“Good night, Dr. Hofstadter.”
Leonard hung up the phone and blankly stared at the scrap of paper still in his hands. He had a lot to take in, after having been offered one of the biggest opportunities of his life. He dropped his phone and the paper on the couch before rubbing his forehead with his hands. There was no way he wanted to think about all this right now. There was too much going on for him to think this through properly.
He was just about to read through his mail that Molly dropped off on his desk earlier that day before he heard a faint knocking at his door. Raising his eyebrows, he wondered who it could be so late at night.
“Who is it?”
“Molly. Can I come in?”
Leonard walked over to the door and opened it, seeing Molly holding her purse and laptop and looking a little frightened.
“Molly. What are you still doing here? I thought you went home already.”
“Um. Well, I stuck around for a few more minutes. You know, just checking my schedule and stuff,” she replied casually. “I was going to leave, but…”
There was about ten seconds of awkward silence before Leonard spoke up.
“But what? Is something wrong?” he asked with genuine concern.
“I was in the parking lot, and I thought I saw somebody following me, so I ran back inside. It’s a little scary out there,” she mumbled. “And now I bet you think I’m weird,” she laughed nervously.
“What? No, no. You’re not weird. No, it’s okay. I understand. It’s late, everyone gets a feeling of fright every now and then. Besides, who knows who’s prowling around the streets at night. You know, there is an increased chance of kidnappings at night, and…you’re probably not interested in this, are you?” He fiddled with his hands and smiled awkwardly.
She giggled nervously and touched his arm. “No! I…love it when you ramble.” She blushed, turning almost completely red.
“Uh, okay.” He smiled back at her before moving the conversation along. “So, do you want me to walk you out?”
“Yes, that would be great,” she said, relieved that Leonard understood. “So…um, Dr. Hofstadter, would you continue talking about that ‘increased chance of kidnappings?’”
He laughed, saying, “All right, if you wish. By the way, you don’t have to call me Dr. Hofstadter all the time. Leonard is fine with me.” They walked toward the parking lot as Leonard continued talking.
When they got to her car, Molly pulled out her keys and waited for him to finish talking. “It’s perfectly reasonable for you to have been scared, considering, you know…you’re very…attractive.” Leonard mumbled that last word, but Molly heard him loud and clear.
Her mouth dropped and her heart fluttered, and the only thing she could choke out at the moment was, “Uh…I should get going.” Her voice got softer with each word.
Leonard was frozen, his heart beating rapidly. I can’t believe I just said that. He managed to clear his throat and reply, “Yeah, yeah. It’s late, you should get home.”
Molly leaned in for a hug, but Leonard was very hesitant to return the gesture, considering what just came out of his mouth. Nevertheless, he couldn’t leave her anticipating a hug and never give her one, so he wrapped his arms around her, gently squeezing her into a hug. They said their goodbyes and Molly drove off, leaving Leonard standing in the dark parking lot, alone, to think about what he said.
~~~~~
Penny opened her eyes, the nighttime coloring the room dark. She leaned over to turn on the light and sat up, rubbing her eyes. It was one in the morning and she could not stay asleep.
Tossing the covers aside, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and tapped her knees, thinking of something to do to distract herself. Her eyes observed her room, before ending on her closet door. She smiled, walking over and pulling the door open, revealing her massive storage of clothes, all in disarray. Shoes were scattered on the ground, some in their boxes, some not. Others with their missing partner, and some pairs without any box at all. Sweaters, tube tops, pajamas, skirts, jeans, jackets, shorts, dresses, all offered a colorful scheme to look at.
She got down on the ground and pulled out her shoes first, putting the pairs together and finding homes for each of them. Once she got to the back of her closet, she found four taped cardboard boxes. One of them was labeled ‘Old Clothes’ and the other was labeled ‘Old Shoes.’ But the third and fourth ones, in the very back, were unlabeled. Curious, she pulled them out. The items inside rattled and jangled and clattered. She reached into the drawer of her nightstand a pulled out a pair of scissors. Cutting the tape open, she opened the first unlabeled box and inside, it was filled with her past life. The life she had ten years ago with four of the sweetest guys in the world.
~~~~~
He paced back to his office, mouth gaping from that one word. Attractive? I had to say attractive? Great. Now she’s going to think I’m in love with her and she’s going to avoid me at all costs. Leonard knew he made a huge mistake. Not only did he not mean it in that way, but he could tell that Molly took him more than seriously. And her reaction suggested that she less than happy about the situation.
“Oh, God,” he moaned, flopping down on the couch in his office.
He knew what he had to do. He had to set this straight.
He thought about calling her, but realized she wouldn’t get home for another twenty minutes or so. Instead, he closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the stress that had been building up for the past week. After a few minutes, he unintentionally fell asleep, mumbling something incoherently.
~~~~~
Penny’s mouth dropped, her mouth slowly forming into a smile. She reached into the box and pulled out a rubber banded stack of pictures. She flipped through them, her grin getting wider and wider.
She saw several of the group sitting in Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment, eating their Chinese food, playing video games, or watching television. In a couple others, she saw the four guys playing with one of their toys, or battling each other in Halo, or just writing something on their whiteboards. Penny put the stack of photos on her nightstand, planning to go through all of them later.
As she looked through the rest of the box, she found comic books, a couple movies, and a DVD with nothing but a heart written on the top. She turned on the TV in her room and popped the disc into the DVD player. It turned out to be a series of videos of the five of them taken at random times, and mostly by Penny. As soon as the video started, she remembered the day when she bought her camcorder. She had a little extra money and decided to purchase one from the store. Being unsure about which camera to choose, Leonard tagged along and helped her choose one. She started using it the second she came home, entering Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment with it already recording.
Sheldon was at his desk, typing something on his laptop and refusing to look at the camera.
Penny’s voice could be heard in the background. “Sheldon, come on! Smile at the camera!”
“I fail to understand why it is so important for me to smile at a camera,” said Sheldon, still not looking at the camera.
“Because it’s fun! And I want a shot of each of you guys!”
Another voice came from the background. “Well, you can take a shot of me, honey.”
The camera panned over to reveal Howard grinning seductively at the camera. He nodded at Penny and moved closer to the camera.
“Oh, Howard, go away.” Penny’s arm came in shot and pushed Howard away.
Behind Howard, Raj was sitting on the couch. He froze when Penny started to walk over to him.
“Raj, wave at the camera!”
Raj slightly grinned and shyly and awkwardly waved at her continuously, until Penny panned over to the right.
She focused on Leonard, who was holding his hands up and hiding from the camera.
“Aw, sweetie. Come on, Leonard! Smile!”
“No!” Leonard laughed, attempting to turn away from the camera.
Penny’s giggle was heard from behind and she moved closer to him, pulling his hands away. She had no success with getting Leonard to smile for the camera until she started tickling him.
Penny sat on her bed, leaning against the headboard and clutching the remote against her chest. She smiled, tears forming in her eyes as she realized just how much she missed everyone. She watched as Leonard laughed uncontrollably and she couldn’t help but laugh too.
“Oh, Leonard.” Penny felt her heart jump a little at the memory of her best friend.
The video ended, and Penny wiped tears away from her face with the back of her hand. She pulled the DVD out of the player and set it aside. The box was now empty, so she closed it and shoved it back in her closet, keeping the DVD and photos outside.
Penny was ready to go back to sleep, until she remembered the other unlabeled box. She pulled it next to her and carefully opened it. When she opened it, she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.
~~~~~
A loud car honk from outside startled Leonard awake. He groaned, his back and neck sore from the way he slept. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he stood up and stretched. He pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and blinked a few times, trying to focus his vision. The time on the bright screen read 1:49 AM. Groaning at the late time, he decided to pack up and head home. He threw his books into his backpack and slung it over his left shoulder while picking up his laptop and briefcase before leaving the office. The drive home was quiet and dark, just like every single night before this one. As much as Leonard didn’t want to admit it, it was depressing that he had to leave work everyday by himself instead of with a friend, or with a girlfriend or wife. He had no one to talk to, which meant running the risk of falling asleep during the drive home. He started thinking about what kind of life he had. All he did was sleep, eat, and work. He hardly did anything outside of his career. But even more depressing than a drive home alone or a life revolving around his career, was going home to see no one. He lived alone in an apartment that was about half an hour away from his office. He bought it after him and Sheldon moved out of their old apartment and went their separate ways. Sheldon went on to be a very successful theoretical physicist, while Leonard was offered his own dream opportunity of heading the research of one of the most important experiments in the physics world currently.
As much as he loved his job because it was something that he dreamed of doing his entire life, he couldn’t help but once in a while think about his life ten years ago. With his best friends. With Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. And Penny. Penny, who he intentionally tried to not think about because it hurt too much. It hurt that he hadn’t seen her in ten years and that he hadn’t talked to her in who knows how long. He missed her the most, and it would depress him to think about being away from her. And possibly never being with her again. As his mother would say, it is probably why he immerses himself in his work. That’s when he started questioning himself. The question that ran through his head the most was, “Who am I going to end up with?”
Leonard stared at the road ahead of him, his eyes getting more and more tired. There were hardly any cars on the streets, and everything was so quiet. So quiet…that he accidentally dozed off for half a second. Or maybe five seconds. Or half a minute. He wasn’t sure how it happened since he had never fallen asleep at the wheel before, no matter how late it was. He practically jumped in his seat as he woke up to the sound of an ambulance’s siren, now even more awake than he was before.
“Oh man, what is wrong with me?”
After a few more minutes of some very attentive driving, Leonard pulled into his parking spot and wandered upstairs and into his apartment, which was on the fourth floor. He unlocked the door and turned on the light, dropping his briefcase and backpack next to the door. He took his laptop with him and walked into the kitchen. Glancing at the clock, he noted that it was 2:25 AM and very much time for him to go to bed. He put his laptop on the kitchen counter, opened the cabinet next to his refrigerator, and grabbed his container of pretzels.
Leonard stood there and stuffed a couple pretzels in his mouth. At the same time, he filled up a cup with water and washed down the salty snack. Pretzels were his midnight snack escape whenever he felt like he was over-thinking things. As Leonard stuffed a few more pretzels in his mouth, he noticed that the container was nearly empty. He made a note to buy more pretzels before realizing what the empty container meant.
He sighed, dumping his cup of water into the sink and instead heading into his refrigerator and opening a can of soda. He didn’t care whether or not it had caffeine at the moment. He just felt like being unhealthy for a night. His soda-drinking soon led to him opening a bag of chips and container of ice cream. By then, it was nearly 2:45 and he knew he needed to stop himself before he was up all night eating junk food. He shoved a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream into his mouth and put all the food away.
He dropped the spoon into the sink, grabbed his laptop, and headed to his bedroom. His bedroom was rather plain and conservative, as there wasn’t much decoration hanging on the plain, white walls. Leonard dropped his laptop on his bed and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower.
When he was done showering, he slipped on his boxers and white t-shirt and sleepily crawled into bed. He turned on his laptop and checked his email before turning off the light and falling asleep.
~~~~~
Penny had her hand over her mouth, eyes filling up with tears again. The very first thing she saw in that box was a red velvet pouch. And lying underneath that pouch was a blue sweatshirt. And under that, a photo album. She picked up the velvet pouch and carefully pulled out what was inside of it. The glass slide glistened beautifully in the light, and she could see the snowflake, right in the center. She smiled as tears began to fall down her face. Penny looked to the box again, seeing the blue, fluffy sweater that the snowflake was lying on top of. It was Leonard’s favorite sweater. She pulled it out and held it to her face, smelling the sweater. A wide grin spread across her face as she recognized Leonard’s scent after all this time. Suddenly she remembered something and looked on the sleeve of the sweater. A white bleach stain was on the sleeve and she laughed out loud, recalling that night.
Leonard had been sick with the flu for days, and Penny had stayed over at his apartment taking care of him. But he had been getting better and was able to sleep comfortably that night. However, despite his recovery, he complained that it was cold and slept in his blue sweater.
“Leonaaard,” Penny groaned, rolling over and shaking her boyfriend awake.
Leonard mumbled into his pillow. “Mff. What is it?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Hungry?” he lifted his head and squinted at his alarm clock. He pulled the little electronic box closer to his face and read the time. “Penny, it’s 2:37 in the morning. Why are you hungry?”
“I don’t know. I’m just hungry. Honey, can we eat something?”
“‘We?’ I’m not hungry. Why don’t you just get something from the kitchen real fast and go back to sleep?”
“Noooo,” she whined. “Come with me.” She tugged his sweater toward her.
Leonard wasn’t coherent enough to argue any further, so he agreed, slipping on his glasses. They both got up, Penny walking into the kitchen and Leonard following behind. He walked down the hall, nearly off-balance from being so tired.
“So what do you want to eat?” Leonard yawned as he plopped down on the ground.
“Honey, don’t sit on the ground.”
“Why not? It’s clean.” He lay on his side and closed his eyes, eager to doze off. Penny gently kicked him in the stomach before he was able to fall asleep. “Ow…Penny.”
She giggled, pulling him up from the ground. He smiled at her and gave her a poke in the ribs in return. As Penny scanned for a midnight snack, Leonard jumped onto the island in the kitchen and sat on top, cross-legged. Penny stuck her head in the refrigerator and emerged with chocolate chip cookies and soy milk.
“Here.” Penny passed him the container of cookies as she retrieved two glasses.
“I didn’t know we had cookies,” Leonard said, excitedly opening the plastic cover.
“I was hiding it. It’s my way of apologizing for waking you up while you’re sick.”
Leonard shoved half a cookie into his mouth, mumbling, “It’s okay. I’m not really sick anymore, anyway.”
“I can tell,” she laughed, watching him talk with a mouthful of cookie. She passed him the glass of milk, which he drank a few gulps of before devouring another cookie. The scene easily amused Penny. “Don’t eat so fast, sweetie. You’ll get a stomachache.”
“Stomachaches I can deal with. Don’t you remember the last few days?” he grinned, reaching for his third cookie.
“Hey, I thought you weren’t hungry,” Penny teased, pinching his cheek.
“That was before I knew we had cookies.”
She smiled, reaching for a cookie herself before jumping up onto the island and sitting next to Leonard. She laid her head on his shoulder and they sat in silence while eating their snack.
Once the container was empty, Penny jumped down and took everything to the sink, washing up before returning to where Leonard was sitting. By the time she had turned around, he was fast asleep, lying on his side, with his arm tucked under his head.
Unfortunately, he had not noticed that he’d fallen asleep on top of a plate of red Jell-O that Penny had been making for dessert the next night. The gelatin was mashed under his arm and the red food coloring had already soaked into his sleeve. Penny laughed out loud before shaking Leonard awake.
She pulled the sweater over her shirt and retrieved the last thing from the box, the photo album. The cover was red and purple, and the edges were embroidered with shiny gold. Penny brushed her hand over the cover before opening it. The very first picture in the album was Leonard holding Penny in his arms. They were in Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment, and they were sitting in Leonard’s chair. She was on his lap, and he had his arms wrapped around her, their faces pressing against each other. Their smiles and the look in their eyes exuded love.
Penny stared at the picture for what seemed like an eternity. She was crying, and constantly wiping tears away from her face with the sleeves of the sweatshirt, but she could not stop smiling. As she flipped through the rest of the album, every single memory of her and Leonard came rushing back. The sheer emotional intensity of just those memories was enough to keep her crying until dawn.
There were pictures of them kissing, of them hugging, of him tickling her, and her tickling him. There were photos of them sleeping, and photos of them just goofing off. Penny was always the one with the camera. It was either her digital camera, or the camera in her phone. She never wanted to miss a moment with Leonard. She captured everything. And now it was all in here, in this one album.
Penny knew she was going to be going through this album for days to come, so she set it on her bed. The clock now read 3:15 AM, and she sighed, thinking that she should go to sleep soon. Even though she didn’t have to work tomorrow, she knew that if she stayed up any longer, she would go through that photo album ten more times, spending at least two minutes staring at each and every picture and memorizing every little detail.
She was just about to close the box until something stopped her. The bottom flap of the box was lifted slightly. She reached inside and lifted the flap, revealing a USB drive. Penny took it out and stared at it, confused. She had never seen this before.
Curious, she ran and got her laptop and stuck the drive into the port. She sat on her bed, tapping her knees, waiting for the drive to load. The window opened, and she froze.
“Oh my God.”
~~~~~
Her phone rang out from under her pillow, waking her. It was nearly 3:30 in the morning. She felt around under her pillow for her cell phone and sleepily greeted the caller, “Hellooo?”
“Hey, Molly. It’s Christine. I’m so sorry to call you at this time, but I need your help.”
“Mm, what’s going on?”
“My car broke down, and I’m stranded on the freeway. Can you come get me?”
Molly yawned, slowly sitting up. “Yeah, sure. Where are you?”
“I’m on the 94, somewhere near the airport.”
“All right, I’ll find you.”
“Thanks so much.”
“Sure, no problem.”
She hung up her cell phone, blankly staring at the time and groaning after finding out it was three in the morning. After about forty-five minutes of searching and two cups of coffee, she found a tow truck and Christine’s car on the side of the highway and pulled over. Christine ran over to Molly’s car and repeatedly thanked her for picking her up.
Christine was Molly’s best friend. They had known each other since elementary school and were practically inseparable ever since. They always had each other’s backs and always told each other everything. Christine had dark brown hair that barely brushed her shoulders and brown eyes that sparkled just like Molly’s eyes did.
She hopped into the passenger’s seat and Molly drove to Christine’s house, which was about twenty minutes away from where they were. Christine started the conversation; she was always the more talkative one, anyway.
“So, how was work? Did you turn red like all the other times you talked to Leonard?”
Molly laughed, embarrassed. “Shut up. It’s not like you’ve never had a crush before.”
“I never said I didn’t! So anything interesting happen?” Molly fell silent, but grinned. Christine noticed immediately and her mouth dropped. “Oh my goodness. What happened?”
“Hey, don’t interrogate me. I reserve the right to keep my mouth shut.”
“Oh, not with me, you don’t! Tell me!”
“All right, all right,” she chuckled. She searched for a way to tell her what happened without making it seem like her and Leonard were a sure thing. But it proved to be a challenge. “He called me attractive.”
Christine squealed, flailing her hands in the air. She was practically screaming all of her next questions. “What did you do?!”
“It’s nothing to scream about,” she said between fits of laughter. “But I got to admit, it’s pretty awesome!”
“So you think he’s going to ask you out?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t think of anything to say after he said that word…and I think it seemed like I wasn’t really into what he said.”
“Oh God, what did you say?”
“I said I should go home.”
“Molly!”
“What?! Leonard called me attractive, what was I supposed to say without it seeming like I’ve been in love with him for months?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe something that doesn’t make you sound like a girl that just came from a horrible date?”
“Come on, it’ll be fine.”
“You better hope that didn’t ruin your chances with him.”
Their conversation went on for a while, ending with the decision that Molly would go to work the next day and ask Leonard out on a date. She was reluctant about doing it, but realized that she probably would never find another guy like this. Tomorrow was her chance. It was now or never.
~~~~~
Penny ran her finger across the mouse pad on her laptop, her mouth still gaping from the files that she saw.
On the drive, Leonard had stored every single piece of memory from their relationship. Pictures, videos, emails, text messages, instant messaging conversations, webcam chats. He recorded everything.
She couldn’t believe it; it was all here. Hundreds of pictures. Hundreds of text files containing their emails and text messages. Penny was overwhelmed by just how much she saw. But she was even more overwhelmed that Leonard compiled everything, for her.
This was more than enough to make Penny an emotional train wreck for days. She couldn’t go through it all now; it was too much. So she turned off her laptop and forced herself to sleep.
It turned out to be a good decision. Because if Penny had gone through everything in that drive and reached the last file in that window, she may not have gone to sleep that night. part 2
Pairings: Leonard/Penny, Leonard/OC
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Spoilers up until the end of season 3.
Word Count: 15,479
Summary: Ten years ago, Penny moved away from Pasadena to a job in New York as a screenwriter. Now, after multiple rejections, she starts to question where she’s going in life, and starts to feel lost. Until one night, she finds a box in the back of her closet, reminding her of Leonard. She sets off on a journey to find him and reunite with the person that she hasn’t seen in ten years. Meanwhile, a certain girl in Leonard’s office attempts to ask him out. Will Penny make it to Leonard in time, or will she lose him to this girl?
A/N: First off, I have to say several apologies because I know this is late. Something came up and I didn't get a chance to post it earlier. Written for bigbangbigbang . Author is tbbtllh . Special thanks to tobimonkee for the art! :D
“Molly, what is this all about?” Leonard held up a ragged piece of paper, a name and phone number scrawled across the sheet in messy handwriting. In his other hand, he was holding a wrinkled brown briefcase stuffed with his laptop and various papers. Books with complicated covers were tucked neatly under his arm. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt, his blazer unbuttoned and his tie loosened around his neck.
“Oh, some executive called. Said he wants to meet with you. Something about an amazing job opportunity. He wants you to call him back as soon as possible.”
Molly, perched in the desk next to Leonard’s office, was armed with two cell phones, a pager, and a very complex headset. The words, “Molly Jones, Secretary,” were plastered on the side of her desk. She had long blonde hair that draped her shoulders and glasses that brightened her blue eyes. Her fingernails were painted a dull pink and she was smartly dressed in a white blouse and navy skirt and jacket. A petite woman, she was almost as tall as Leonard when she stood up.
“Okay, thanks,” replied Leonard. He pushed the door to his office open and threw his books and briefcase down on the carpeted floor. The pager that was clipped to the side of his belt was plucked and thrown to the table. The cell phone in his hand was tossed someplace unknown. He flopped down on the couch that was conveniently placed next to the door and closed his eyes. “What an exhausting day,” he mumbled.
He slowly drifted to sleep, the piece of paper slightly crumpled in his hands.
~~~~~
Penny sank into the armchair next to the producer’s office. People were scattered all around her, chattering away on their cell phones, scribbling on notepads. Some people were frantically running around her, cups of coffee in each hand, rushing to some studio head’s office in the near distance. She had her wavy blonde hair messily tied up into a ponytail, resulting in several strands of hair brushing against her fair skin. A charm bracelet sparkled on her wrist, jangling loudly as she moved it. She wore black dress pants and a wrinkled pink blouse, along with a silver necklace.
She was struggling to come up with ideas, her tired eyes screaming exhaustion. She twirled her pen in her hand, the other hand impatiently tapping on the notepad she had in her lap. The notepad donned her neat handwriting, some words crossed out, others frantically added in the margins.
A red-haired woman walked up to her, a bright smile on her face. “Hey, Penny. How’s your screenplay coming?”
Penny looked up and smiled back. “Oh, not too well. I’ve got writer’s block.”
“Aw, that sucks. When does the producer want the script?”
“Um…now.” Penny chuckled uncomfortably.
Just then, the producer’s door flew open and a white-haired, overweight, temperamental man walked out. He stood directly in front of Penny, his dark eyes boring holes right through Penny. The woman behind him subtly backed away as Penny straightened up and cleared her throat.
His voice was hoarse and rough. “Well? Are you done?” Penny looked at him with an uneasy expression. The producer glanced at her notepad and gave her a grimacing look. “You’re fired.”
Penny squeaked, but before she could say anything, the producer had slammed the door and was back in his office. She quietly put her pen in her purse, closed her notepad, stood up, and slowly walked out of the studio. Every step felt heavy and she felt like every pair of eyes was watching her. She had experienced rejection before, but something was different this time. As she got into her car, she started to cry.
“What’s wrong with me?” she mumbled through her tears. “What’s going on?”
Penny had been rejected so many times before. There were times of rejection much worse than the one she had just experienced. Yet she felt crushed. It was like something was missing. Something major.
~~~~~
It had been ten years.
Penny had gotten a job as a screenwriter and was quickly getting offer after offer. Her scripts were amazing, studios had welcomed her, and she was heading to success.
She had broken up with Leonard a few months ago. She knew she overreacted and that breaking up with Leonard was the worst decision she ever made. She knew she desperately wanted her Leonard in her arms again. But she couldn’t look back. It was a new beginning for her this time.
Her fourth script had just been accepted by another studio, and she already raked in a pile of money. It was then that she decided she should move on.
The apartment of 4B was stuffed with boxes and boxes of clothes, makeup, shoes, pots, pans, and magazines. Penny looked around her, a smile forming on her face. She was finally getting the life of fame she wanted.
~~~~~
Leonard was in his bedroom, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head buried in his arms. He was still experiencing the heart-aching scars that accompanied his breaking up with Penny. He never, ever wanted to leave her, but something just happened. And he hated it. Now the love of his life was moving away, and he didn’t even have the guts to get up out of his room and say one final goodbye to her. He knew the farewell would be awkward, but he still longed to see her one last time.
With a sudden rush of confidence, he straightened up and looked at his bedroom door. Leonard got up off his bed, brushed his hair back, and walked out of his room. Every heartbeat echoed in his ears, his face flushed, and his head pounded with every step.
As Penny was taping the last box shut, her apartment door opened. Leonard poked his head inside, his face appearing gloomy and depressed. Penny was sitting on the couch, a roll of tape in her hands and her hair tied back. When her door opened, she looked up and smiled slightly, but no matter how hard he tried, Leonard couldn’t bring himself to return the smile.
“Hi, Penny,” Leonard mumbled quietly.
“Hey, sweetie.”
Leonard was huddled next to the door, reluctant to enter her apartment. He fiddled with the doorknob, unconsciously twisting it back and forth in his hands. “Um…I just wanted to wish you good luck with your new life. I hope your success continues. And…goodbye.”
He was on his way back to his apartment, but Penny stopped him, “Leonard, wait.” He slowly turned around and faced her, his eyes not once making contact with hers. “Sweetie, sit down.” She motioned to the cushion next to her. Leonard very slowly closed the door and shuffled over to the couch, sitting awkwardly far from her. “Listen, I know things have been weird between us since we broke up, but I just want you to know that you’re still my best friend. I don’t ever want to lose you.” He kept his eyes away from her, suddenly finding the rug on Penny’s ground very pleasing to look at. “Leonard…honey, look at me.” He looked up, and Penny could see the despair in his eyes. She could see the pain that he was still experiencing, even though months had passed by. Penny, in response, moved closer to Leonard and held his hands. She looked directly into his eyes. “Leonard, I will always have feelings for you. I will always be your friend. And I’m sorry that I have to leave, but I just need to create a new life for myself. I’m getting nowhere in this place, and now that I have an opportunity to be successful, I don’t want to lose it. I may never get a chance like this again. You understand, right?”
Leonard nodded slowly, silently. Penny was close to tears; she really did not want to leave her life with the four sweetest guys in the world. But she knew she had to. With that, she leaned in and hugged Leonard tightly. He brought his arms around her and returned the hug.
Within minutes, Penny was out of the apartment, in her car, and down the road, never to see Leonard again. He held a special image of her in his heart: Penny in her car, looking back at him, blowing him a kiss and waving one last time. They both knew they could still talk to each other on the phone or email each other, but from that day forward, something unexplainable happened. Because neither of them saw the other person again.
~~~~~
Leonard opened his eyes, his myopia blurring the room around him. He blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes, before putting on his glasses. He groaned, sitting up on the couch and yawned, unintentionally letting the scrap of paper that was in his hands fall to the ground. Sluggishly crawling over to his desk, he looked for his cell phone. He scratched his head, looking under piles of books and papers, searching his pockets, and the couch. After a few minutes of frustration, he ended up on his hands and knees, scanning every inch of his office for his phone.
The door opened, and Molly entered to find Leonard on his stomach, peering under the couch.
She cleared her throat, “Um, Dr. Hofstadter?” Leonard froze and sheepishly looked up at her. “You don’t have to crawl around looking under couches, I can always lend you some money,” Molly smiled.
Leonard chuckled, replying, “I lost my cell phone. Do you know where it is?”
She scanned the room, pointing to the trash can next to his desk. “It appears you’ve thrown it away.”
Leonard looked to where she was pointing and pulled his phone out of the trash, wiping it with the front of his shirt. “How the hell did it get in there…?” He quickly shrugged it off, turning back to Molly. “So, what did you want?”
“Dr. McGraw called again, he’s wondering why you haven’t called him back.”
“Who?”
“Dr. McGraw. The executive whose number I gave you earlier today?”
“Oh, right. I completely forgot about that.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, searching for the number. “Um…”
Molly smiled, plucking the scrap of paper from the ground and handing it to Leonard. “Are you okay, Dr. Hofstadter?”
“Uh, can’t say that I’ve been great today. Why?”
“You’re usually not like this. You’re usually…responsible,” Molly hesitantly replied, afraid she was going to offend Leonard.
“Yeah, I don’t know. Something’s been on my mind, and it’s bugging me.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I wish I could talk about it, but I don’t even know what’s bothering me. Something just feels off, I don’t know,” Leonard shrugged, “Maybe it’s just a bad day for me. Things will be better tomorrow.”
“I hope so,” Molly smiled. She gazed into his eyes. She secretly had a crush on Leonard, but kept it very close to herself. There was no way she was going to let something like this get out and risk losing her job. Besides, it was just a crush. They go away. Don’t they?
Leonard nodded, smiling back. “You can go home if you want. I don’t think there’s anything else you need to do.”
She smiled, nodding quickly, and left his office, leaving Leonard alone with his cell phone and the scrap of paper in his hand.
He sat down on the couch, staring at the number. He wasn’t thinking about anything in particular, he just seemed to be floating away into another little world in his subconscious. After snapping back into reality, he dialed the number, hearing two rings before a man’s voice came over the speaker.
“Dr. McGraw’s office.”
“Uh, hi, Dr. McGraw. I’m Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. I was told you wanted to speak with me?”
“Yes, that’s right. How are you, Dr. Hofstadter?”
“I’m very well, thanks for asking. And yourself?”
“Fine, thank you. I called to offer you a very big opportunity. I want you to come and work for us. I want you to be our head researcher.”
“Well, I appreciate the opportunity, but I’m already a head researcher.”
“I understand. But with us, you will be working on one of the biggest opportunities available in the field of physics today. You will be working on…”
~~~~~
Penny tipped the bottle, pouring the last of the wine into her glass before gulping the rest down. She considered opening another bottle, but decided against it as she wasn’t looking forward to a hangover the next morning. She had gotten home from her latest rejection and broke down, tearing apart her notepad and breaking her pencils in half before heading straight to the cupboard for a glass (or five) of wine.
Penny’s apartment was considerably larger than her previous one. It was on the fourth floor and had two bedrooms and one bathroom, as well as a nicely furnished kitchen. She initially wanted to purchase the apartment because the money she was making was so much better than when she was a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. But she was afraid about the hole she might have been digging herself into. She didn’t want to get too invested into the apartment because if she lost her job as a screenwriter, she would have been in a lot of trouble financially. After such a good new life, she didn’t want to deal with that kind of stress. So she took the safe road and rented the apartment. Her living room was decorated with a rainbow of colors, ranging from baby blue to hot pink. She had the same turquoise couch that she had in her old apartment, as well as the same pillows, coffee table, and chairs. There were only a few new items of furniture around the house, like her new silver TV stand and her mahogany cabinet. She didn’t do much to the kitchen, on the other hand, as she didn’t spend much time cooking, so she didn’t care what it looked like. Her vacant bedroom was just that: vacant. It was almost completely empty, except for a few boxes she failed to unpack when she moved in and a couple of old suitcases. Whenever she didn’t want to clean up her apartment for company, she simply threw her stuff in that room and locked the door. Her bedroom, however, looked almost exactly like her old one, except for the new television set on top of her dresser.
She kicked the empty wine bottle aside and groaned loudly, frustration setting in further. Penny got to the point where she started questioning where she was going in life. What was the point of her job if she wasn’t happy? Where am I going to end up? Who am I going to end up with? Question after question cluttered her already scattered brain. Nothing, nowhere, and nobody, were the first answers that came to her mind.
“Oh crap,” she muttered, getting up off the sofa and pacing around the living room of her apartment. She was heading down that depressing path she always went down whenever she got frustrated. And she certainly wasn’t in any mood to start bawling and drinking more alcohol.
So she decided to distract herself. Penny walked to the desk that was against the window of her apartment and turned on her laptop. She sat down, tapping the wooden desk impatiently, waiting for the login screen to appear. A few more minutes passed by before she was signing into her email, scrolling through the 5630 unread messages. She never really went through all of them, she just clicked on the ones that seemed important and left the rest unread. Now seemed like a good time to go through those messages.
After the 1430th message, she found herself clicking on every message and marking them all as read.
“Oh, what the hell,” she muttered, signing out of her email and closing her laptop.
She wandered off to her bedroom, slipping into a t-shirt and sweatpants, not bothering to take a shower before she crawled into bed. Grabbing her cell phone off the nightstand, she went through her voicemail.
You have 4 unread messages. First unread message. *beep*
Hey, Penny. It’s Kathy. I got two tickets to a concert next week, wanna join me? Call me back!
Second unread message. *beep*
Penny, it’s Crystal. I heard about what happened at work. I’m so sorry. If you need someone to talk to, I’m always here for you. Love you sweetie.
Third unread message. *beep*
This is Don Mendez calling for Penny Parker. I received your latest script. It’s a great script, but unfortunately, it’s not the kind of thing we’re looking for at the moment. Thank you for taking the time to-
Penny hit the end button and threw her phone across the bed. She gave up after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and went to sleep.
~~~~~
Molly had stuck around for a few minutes before she went home. She didn’t have much to do besides work, anyway. She was single, lived alone, and most of her life revolved around Leonard’s work schedule. Although she made good money, she lived in a small, furnished apartment just fifteen minutes from Leonard’s office.
Molly hadn’t had a boyfriend in months, either. Her last boyfriend ran out on her after she found out that he was cheating on her with some slut. She was sick of dating immature jerks and decided to boycott dating guys for the time being. She hoped along the way that she would find someone nice, kind, and sweet. Like Leonard.
Clearly, sparking a relationship with her boss could be the worst decision she could ever make. It was ludicrous to even think about it. But that never stopped her from having feelings. These strong, overwhelming feelings that she could hardly control…
She would often turn beet-red or giggle nervously whenever she was near him. But obviously, Leonard never had a clue about how she felt. She would giggle at one of his jokes, and he would smile back, every single hint passing right over his head.
Molly wanted so badly to make a move one day, but she was smart enough to understand that it would probably end in her disappointment. Not only that, but Leonard wasn’t stupid enough to start something with his secretary.
She sighed, and packed up her things before strolling out to her car.
~~~~~
“Thank you, Dr. McGraw.”
“Thank you for calling, Dr. Hofstadter. It was a pleasure to speak to you.”
“So, uh, I will think about your offer and get back to you as soon as possible.”
“There is absolutely no rush, Dr. Hofstadter. No need to rush into anything you are not sure about.”
“Thanks for understanding. Have a good night, Dr. McGraw.”
“Good night, Dr. Hofstadter.”
Leonard hung up the phone and blankly stared at the scrap of paper still in his hands. He had a lot to take in, after having been offered one of the biggest opportunities of his life. He dropped his phone and the paper on the couch before rubbing his forehead with his hands. There was no way he wanted to think about all this right now. There was too much going on for him to think this through properly.
He was just about to read through his mail that Molly dropped off on his desk earlier that day before he heard a faint knocking at his door. Raising his eyebrows, he wondered who it could be so late at night.
“Who is it?”
“Molly. Can I come in?”
Leonard walked over to the door and opened it, seeing Molly holding her purse and laptop and looking a little frightened.
“Molly. What are you still doing here? I thought you went home already.”
“Um. Well, I stuck around for a few more minutes. You know, just checking my schedule and stuff,” she replied casually. “I was going to leave, but…”
There was about ten seconds of awkward silence before Leonard spoke up.
“But what? Is something wrong?” he asked with genuine concern.
“I was in the parking lot, and I thought I saw somebody following me, so I ran back inside. It’s a little scary out there,” she mumbled. “And now I bet you think I’m weird,” she laughed nervously.
“What? No, no. You’re not weird. No, it’s okay. I understand. It’s late, everyone gets a feeling of fright every now and then. Besides, who knows who’s prowling around the streets at night. You know, there is an increased chance of kidnappings at night, and…you’re probably not interested in this, are you?” He fiddled with his hands and smiled awkwardly.
She giggled nervously and touched his arm. “No! I…love it when you ramble.” She blushed, turning almost completely red.
“Uh, okay.” He smiled back at her before moving the conversation along. “So, do you want me to walk you out?”
“Yes, that would be great,” she said, relieved that Leonard understood. “So…um, Dr. Hofstadter, would you continue talking about that ‘increased chance of kidnappings?’”
He laughed, saying, “All right, if you wish. By the way, you don’t have to call me Dr. Hofstadter all the time. Leonard is fine with me.” They walked toward the parking lot as Leonard continued talking.
When they got to her car, Molly pulled out her keys and waited for him to finish talking. “It’s perfectly reasonable for you to have been scared, considering, you know…you’re very…attractive.” Leonard mumbled that last word, but Molly heard him loud and clear.
Her mouth dropped and her heart fluttered, and the only thing she could choke out at the moment was, “Uh…I should get going.” Her voice got softer with each word.
Leonard was frozen, his heart beating rapidly. I can’t believe I just said that. He managed to clear his throat and reply, “Yeah, yeah. It’s late, you should get home.”
Molly leaned in for a hug, but Leonard was very hesitant to return the gesture, considering what just came out of his mouth. Nevertheless, he couldn’t leave her anticipating a hug and never give her one, so he wrapped his arms around her, gently squeezing her into a hug. They said their goodbyes and Molly drove off, leaving Leonard standing in the dark parking lot, alone, to think about what he said.
~~~~~
Penny opened her eyes, the nighttime coloring the room dark. She leaned over to turn on the light and sat up, rubbing her eyes. It was one in the morning and she could not stay asleep.
Tossing the covers aside, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and tapped her knees, thinking of something to do to distract herself. Her eyes observed her room, before ending on her closet door. She smiled, walking over and pulling the door open, revealing her massive storage of clothes, all in disarray. Shoes were scattered on the ground, some in their boxes, some not. Others with their missing partner, and some pairs without any box at all. Sweaters, tube tops, pajamas, skirts, jeans, jackets, shorts, dresses, all offered a colorful scheme to look at.
She got down on the ground and pulled out her shoes first, putting the pairs together and finding homes for each of them. Once she got to the back of her closet, she found four taped cardboard boxes. One of them was labeled ‘Old Clothes’ and the other was labeled ‘Old Shoes.’ But the third and fourth ones, in the very back, were unlabeled. Curious, she pulled them out. The items inside rattled and jangled and clattered. She reached into the drawer of her nightstand a pulled out a pair of scissors. Cutting the tape open, she opened the first unlabeled box and inside, it was filled with her past life. The life she had ten years ago with four of the sweetest guys in the world.
~~~~~
He paced back to his office, mouth gaping from that one word. Attractive? I had to say attractive? Great. Now she’s going to think I’m in love with her and she’s going to avoid me at all costs. Leonard knew he made a huge mistake. Not only did he not mean it in that way, but he could tell that Molly took him more than seriously. And her reaction suggested that she less than happy about the situation.
“Oh, God,” he moaned, flopping down on the couch in his office.
He knew what he had to do. He had to set this straight.
He thought about calling her, but realized she wouldn’t get home for another twenty minutes or so. Instead, he closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the stress that had been building up for the past week. After a few minutes, he unintentionally fell asleep, mumbling something incoherently.
~~~~~
Penny’s mouth dropped, her mouth slowly forming into a smile. She reached into the box and pulled out a rubber banded stack of pictures. She flipped through them, her grin getting wider and wider.
She saw several of the group sitting in Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment, eating their Chinese food, playing video games, or watching television. In a couple others, she saw the four guys playing with one of their toys, or battling each other in Halo, or just writing something on their whiteboards. Penny put the stack of photos on her nightstand, planning to go through all of them later.
As she looked through the rest of the box, she found comic books, a couple movies, and a DVD with nothing but a heart written on the top. She turned on the TV in her room and popped the disc into the DVD player. It turned out to be a series of videos of the five of them taken at random times, and mostly by Penny. As soon as the video started, she remembered the day when she bought her camcorder. She had a little extra money and decided to purchase one from the store. Being unsure about which camera to choose, Leonard tagged along and helped her choose one. She started using it the second she came home, entering Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment with it already recording.
Sheldon was at his desk, typing something on his laptop and refusing to look at the camera.
Penny’s voice could be heard in the background. “Sheldon, come on! Smile at the camera!”
“I fail to understand why it is so important for me to smile at a camera,” said Sheldon, still not looking at the camera.
“Because it’s fun! And I want a shot of each of you guys!”
Another voice came from the background. “Well, you can take a shot of me, honey.”
The camera panned over to reveal Howard grinning seductively at the camera. He nodded at Penny and moved closer to the camera.
“Oh, Howard, go away.” Penny’s arm came in shot and pushed Howard away.
Behind Howard, Raj was sitting on the couch. He froze when Penny started to walk over to him.
“Raj, wave at the camera!”
Raj slightly grinned and shyly and awkwardly waved at her continuously, until Penny panned over to the right.
She focused on Leonard, who was holding his hands up and hiding from the camera.
“Aw, sweetie. Come on, Leonard! Smile!”
“No!” Leonard laughed, attempting to turn away from the camera.
Penny’s giggle was heard from behind and she moved closer to him, pulling his hands away. She had no success with getting Leonard to smile for the camera until she started tickling him.
Penny sat on her bed, leaning against the headboard and clutching the remote against her chest. She smiled, tears forming in her eyes as she realized just how much she missed everyone. She watched as Leonard laughed uncontrollably and she couldn’t help but laugh too.
“Oh, Leonard.” Penny felt her heart jump a little at the memory of her best friend.
The video ended, and Penny wiped tears away from her face with the back of her hand. She pulled the DVD out of the player and set it aside. The box was now empty, so she closed it and shoved it back in her closet, keeping the DVD and photos outside.
Penny was ready to go back to sleep, until she remembered the other unlabeled box. She pulled it next to her and carefully opened it. When she opened it, she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.
~~~~~
A loud car honk from outside startled Leonard awake. He groaned, his back and neck sore from the way he slept. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he stood up and stretched. He pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and blinked a few times, trying to focus his vision. The time on the bright screen read 1:49 AM. Groaning at the late time, he decided to pack up and head home. He threw his books into his backpack and slung it over his left shoulder while picking up his laptop and briefcase before leaving the office. The drive home was quiet and dark, just like every single night before this one. As much as Leonard didn’t want to admit it, it was depressing that he had to leave work everyday by himself instead of with a friend, or with a girlfriend or wife. He had no one to talk to, which meant running the risk of falling asleep during the drive home. He started thinking about what kind of life he had. All he did was sleep, eat, and work. He hardly did anything outside of his career. But even more depressing than a drive home alone or a life revolving around his career, was going home to see no one. He lived alone in an apartment that was about half an hour away from his office. He bought it after him and Sheldon moved out of their old apartment and went their separate ways. Sheldon went on to be a very successful theoretical physicist, while Leonard was offered his own dream opportunity of heading the research of one of the most important experiments in the physics world currently.
As much as he loved his job because it was something that he dreamed of doing his entire life, he couldn’t help but once in a while think about his life ten years ago. With his best friends. With Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. And Penny. Penny, who he intentionally tried to not think about because it hurt too much. It hurt that he hadn’t seen her in ten years and that he hadn’t talked to her in who knows how long. He missed her the most, and it would depress him to think about being away from her. And possibly never being with her again. As his mother would say, it is probably why he immerses himself in his work. That’s when he started questioning himself. The question that ran through his head the most was, “Who am I going to end up with?”
Leonard stared at the road ahead of him, his eyes getting more and more tired. There were hardly any cars on the streets, and everything was so quiet. So quiet…that he accidentally dozed off for half a second. Or maybe five seconds. Or half a minute. He wasn’t sure how it happened since he had never fallen asleep at the wheel before, no matter how late it was. He practically jumped in his seat as he woke up to the sound of an ambulance’s siren, now even more awake than he was before.
“Oh man, what is wrong with me?”
After a few more minutes of some very attentive driving, Leonard pulled into his parking spot and wandered upstairs and into his apartment, which was on the fourth floor. He unlocked the door and turned on the light, dropping his briefcase and backpack next to the door. He took his laptop with him and walked into the kitchen. Glancing at the clock, he noted that it was 2:25 AM and very much time for him to go to bed. He put his laptop on the kitchen counter, opened the cabinet next to his refrigerator, and grabbed his container of pretzels.
Leonard stood there and stuffed a couple pretzels in his mouth. At the same time, he filled up a cup with water and washed down the salty snack. Pretzels were his midnight snack escape whenever he felt like he was over-thinking things. As Leonard stuffed a few more pretzels in his mouth, he noticed that the container was nearly empty. He made a note to buy more pretzels before realizing what the empty container meant.
He sighed, dumping his cup of water into the sink and instead heading into his refrigerator and opening a can of soda. He didn’t care whether or not it had caffeine at the moment. He just felt like being unhealthy for a night. His soda-drinking soon led to him opening a bag of chips and container of ice cream. By then, it was nearly 2:45 and he knew he needed to stop himself before he was up all night eating junk food. He shoved a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream into his mouth and put all the food away.
He dropped the spoon into the sink, grabbed his laptop, and headed to his bedroom. His bedroom was rather plain and conservative, as there wasn’t much decoration hanging on the plain, white walls. Leonard dropped his laptop on his bed and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower.
When he was done showering, he slipped on his boxers and white t-shirt and sleepily crawled into bed. He turned on his laptop and checked his email before turning off the light and falling asleep.
~~~~~
Penny had her hand over her mouth, eyes filling up with tears again. The very first thing she saw in that box was a red velvet pouch. And lying underneath that pouch was a blue sweatshirt. And under that, a photo album. She picked up the velvet pouch and carefully pulled out what was inside of it. The glass slide glistened beautifully in the light, and she could see the snowflake, right in the center. She smiled as tears began to fall down her face. Penny looked to the box again, seeing the blue, fluffy sweater that the snowflake was lying on top of. It was Leonard’s favorite sweater. She pulled it out and held it to her face, smelling the sweater. A wide grin spread across her face as she recognized Leonard’s scent after all this time. Suddenly she remembered something and looked on the sleeve of the sweater. A white bleach stain was on the sleeve and she laughed out loud, recalling that night.
Leonard had been sick with the flu for days, and Penny had stayed over at his apartment taking care of him. But he had been getting better and was able to sleep comfortably that night. However, despite his recovery, he complained that it was cold and slept in his blue sweater.
“Leonaaard,” Penny groaned, rolling over and shaking her boyfriend awake.
Leonard mumbled into his pillow. “Mff. What is it?”
“I’m hungry.”
“Hungry?” he lifted his head and squinted at his alarm clock. He pulled the little electronic box closer to his face and read the time. “Penny, it’s 2:37 in the morning. Why are you hungry?”
“I don’t know. I’m just hungry. Honey, can we eat something?”
“‘We?’ I’m not hungry. Why don’t you just get something from the kitchen real fast and go back to sleep?”
“Noooo,” she whined. “Come with me.” She tugged his sweater toward her.
Leonard wasn’t coherent enough to argue any further, so he agreed, slipping on his glasses. They both got up, Penny walking into the kitchen and Leonard following behind. He walked down the hall, nearly off-balance from being so tired.
“So what do you want to eat?” Leonard yawned as he plopped down on the ground.
“Honey, don’t sit on the ground.”
“Why not? It’s clean.” He lay on his side and closed his eyes, eager to doze off. Penny gently kicked him in the stomach before he was able to fall asleep. “Ow…Penny.”
She giggled, pulling him up from the ground. He smiled at her and gave her a poke in the ribs in return. As Penny scanned for a midnight snack, Leonard jumped onto the island in the kitchen and sat on top, cross-legged. Penny stuck her head in the refrigerator and emerged with chocolate chip cookies and soy milk.
“Here.” Penny passed him the container of cookies as she retrieved two glasses.
“I didn’t know we had cookies,” Leonard said, excitedly opening the plastic cover.
“I was hiding it. It’s my way of apologizing for waking you up while you’re sick.”
Leonard shoved half a cookie into his mouth, mumbling, “It’s okay. I’m not really sick anymore, anyway.”
“I can tell,” she laughed, watching him talk with a mouthful of cookie. She passed him the glass of milk, which he drank a few gulps of before devouring another cookie. The scene easily amused Penny. “Don’t eat so fast, sweetie. You’ll get a stomachache.”
“Stomachaches I can deal with. Don’t you remember the last few days?” he grinned, reaching for his third cookie.
“Hey, I thought you weren’t hungry,” Penny teased, pinching his cheek.
“That was before I knew we had cookies.”
She smiled, reaching for a cookie herself before jumping up onto the island and sitting next to Leonard. She laid her head on his shoulder and they sat in silence while eating their snack.
Once the container was empty, Penny jumped down and took everything to the sink, washing up before returning to where Leonard was sitting. By the time she had turned around, he was fast asleep, lying on his side, with his arm tucked under his head.
Unfortunately, he had not noticed that he’d fallen asleep on top of a plate of red Jell-O that Penny had been making for dessert the next night. The gelatin was mashed under his arm and the red food coloring had already soaked into his sleeve. Penny laughed out loud before shaking Leonard awake.
She pulled the sweater over her shirt and retrieved the last thing from the box, the photo album. The cover was red and purple, and the edges were embroidered with shiny gold. Penny brushed her hand over the cover before opening it. The very first picture in the album was Leonard holding Penny in his arms. They were in Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment, and they were sitting in Leonard’s chair. She was on his lap, and he had his arms wrapped around her, their faces pressing against each other. Their smiles and the look in their eyes exuded love.
Penny stared at the picture for what seemed like an eternity. She was crying, and constantly wiping tears away from her face with the sleeves of the sweatshirt, but she could not stop smiling. As she flipped through the rest of the album, every single memory of her and Leonard came rushing back. The sheer emotional intensity of just those memories was enough to keep her crying until dawn.
There were pictures of them kissing, of them hugging, of him tickling her, and her tickling him. There were photos of them sleeping, and photos of them just goofing off. Penny was always the one with the camera. It was either her digital camera, or the camera in her phone. She never wanted to miss a moment with Leonard. She captured everything. And now it was all in here, in this one album.
Penny knew she was going to be going through this album for days to come, so she set it on her bed. The clock now read 3:15 AM, and she sighed, thinking that she should go to sleep soon. Even though she didn’t have to work tomorrow, she knew that if she stayed up any longer, she would go through that photo album ten more times, spending at least two minutes staring at each and every picture and memorizing every little detail.
She was just about to close the box until something stopped her. The bottom flap of the box was lifted slightly. She reached inside and lifted the flap, revealing a USB drive. Penny took it out and stared at it, confused. She had never seen this before.
Curious, she ran and got her laptop and stuck the drive into the port. She sat on her bed, tapping her knees, waiting for the drive to load. The window opened, and she froze.
“Oh my God.”
~~~~~
Her phone rang out from under her pillow, waking her. It was nearly 3:30 in the morning. She felt around under her pillow for her cell phone and sleepily greeted the caller, “Hellooo?”
“Hey, Molly. It’s Christine. I’m so sorry to call you at this time, but I need your help.”
“Mm, what’s going on?”
“My car broke down, and I’m stranded on the freeway. Can you come get me?”
Molly yawned, slowly sitting up. “Yeah, sure. Where are you?”
“I’m on the 94, somewhere near the airport.”
“All right, I’ll find you.”
“Thanks so much.”
“Sure, no problem.”
She hung up her cell phone, blankly staring at the time and groaning after finding out it was three in the morning. After about forty-five minutes of searching and two cups of coffee, she found a tow truck and Christine’s car on the side of the highway and pulled over. Christine ran over to Molly’s car and repeatedly thanked her for picking her up.
Christine was Molly’s best friend. They had known each other since elementary school and were practically inseparable ever since. They always had each other’s backs and always told each other everything. Christine had dark brown hair that barely brushed her shoulders and brown eyes that sparkled just like Molly’s eyes did.
She hopped into the passenger’s seat and Molly drove to Christine’s house, which was about twenty minutes away from where they were. Christine started the conversation; she was always the more talkative one, anyway.
“So, how was work? Did you turn red like all the other times you talked to Leonard?”
Molly laughed, embarrassed. “Shut up. It’s not like you’ve never had a crush before.”
“I never said I didn’t! So anything interesting happen?” Molly fell silent, but grinned. Christine noticed immediately and her mouth dropped. “Oh my goodness. What happened?”
“Hey, don’t interrogate me. I reserve the right to keep my mouth shut.”
“Oh, not with me, you don’t! Tell me!”
“All right, all right,” she chuckled. She searched for a way to tell her what happened without making it seem like her and Leonard were a sure thing. But it proved to be a challenge. “He called me attractive.”
Christine squealed, flailing her hands in the air. She was practically screaming all of her next questions. “What did you do?!”
“It’s nothing to scream about,” she said between fits of laughter. “But I got to admit, it’s pretty awesome!”
“So you think he’s going to ask you out?”
“I don’t know. I couldn’t think of anything to say after he said that word…and I think it seemed like I wasn’t really into what he said.”
“Oh God, what did you say?”
“I said I should go home.”
“Molly!”
“What?! Leonard called me attractive, what was I supposed to say without it seeming like I’ve been in love with him for months?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe something that doesn’t make you sound like a girl that just came from a horrible date?”
“Come on, it’ll be fine.”
“You better hope that didn’t ruin your chances with him.”
Their conversation went on for a while, ending with the decision that Molly would go to work the next day and ask Leonard out on a date. She was reluctant about doing it, but realized that she probably would never find another guy like this. Tomorrow was her chance. It was now or never.
~~~~~
Penny ran her finger across the mouse pad on her laptop, her mouth still gaping from the files that she saw.
On the drive, Leonard had stored every single piece of memory from their relationship. Pictures, videos, emails, text messages, instant messaging conversations, webcam chats. He recorded everything.
She couldn’t believe it; it was all here. Hundreds of pictures. Hundreds of text files containing their emails and text messages. Penny was overwhelmed by just how much she saw. But she was even more overwhelmed that Leonard compiled everything, for her.
This was more than enough to make Penny an emotional train wreck for days. She couldn’t go through it all now; it was too much. So she turned off her laptop and forced herself to sleep.
It turned out to be a good decision. Because if Penny had gone through everything in that drive and reached the last file in that window, she may not have gone to sleep that night. part 2