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My dogs with movie dogs
Watching 8 Below with the boys while Matt is working. I'm proud of myself because thus far I have not cried. And dogs have died. The people fell down rock slides and thru the ice and I thought, "Meah. Leave them. " Sad but I feel worse for animals than I do people. Especially when it's doctor "I can't listen" Douchebag causing problems ( Read more... ) -
Bright Sunshiney Day
The last few days have been really great. Work hasn't sucked. We actually had a no hitter on a Monday. That's never happened before in the nearly two years I've been at my job. Today we only had one and I wasn't up for it ( Read more... ) -
Amber Tears
I'm re-reading The Thirteenth Tale for a book club I'm trying to get off the ground. And as I came across the portion of the book where Vida is detailing what it was like for her when John the dig died the parallel to my own situation struck me. She puts off grieving because there are things to be done. She will grieve later. She can not cry in ( Read more... ) -
The end of an era
My Grandma Sally passed away late last night. I haven't really processed it yet and I haven't really cried. I can't give in to that grief until I know I don't have to go back to work and be okay around death. Wish my a*shat of a boss would have actually contacted me to finalize my organization approved time off. It's amazing how quick he was to ( Read more... ) -
How 'bout a doctor approved F*ck Off!
And to add insult to injury my mother in law gave me the guilt trip snippet about "*sigh* Maybe if there were grandchildren this would be worth it......*long suffering sigh*...." Yes. I get it. You want grand kids. You have one already and another on the way. And for whatever reason Matt and I haven't been able to manage any sort of non-4 legged ( Read more... ) -
It's begining to look a lot like...
It's begining to look a lot like depression. Seriously I've gone to bed the last two nights at 8pm and it was pushing to make myself stay up that late. I'm pissed/frustrated/down/hate-filled/upset by/overwhelmed by everything in my life at the moment. I feel like a failure in every sphere I exist in and lazy to boot ( Read more... ) -
Thanks for dangling the carrot, Life. You're a fat bastard!
So life dangled the solid gold plated, diamond and jewel encrusted platinum core carrot of utmost desire under my nose and then at the last possible hope filled second went and YANKED it right and my dreams right out from under me. Nice. Thanks. You're a fat bastard, Life.
I try and work towards the goal. I do everything I can. I wrack my brain and ( Read more... ) -
Round and round we go...
Round and round we go, where we'll stop, nobody knows ( Read more... ) -
Nothing left but to walk on...
Sometimes the things that work the best are the things from a simpler earlier time. My mom had a cd when I was about 13 and thought I was going through really tough stuff. (Rachel Krampe, my best friend, had a boyfriend but I didn't...or some trivial thing that passes as tragedy in the teenage world) There was a song called "Walk On". And three ( Read more... ) -
Phoning in your life
It is all I can do to climb out of bed this morning. I do not want to go to work. I do not want to talk or interact with anyone. I don't want to pet my dogs or brush my teeth or shower. I don't want to do anything but seek solace behind closed eyelids and sleep. I don't want to be happy for my best friend. I don't want to go banter with work people ( Read more... )