Sometimes I wish I could turn off my emotions, so I wont feel like shit sometimes. But other times I can't see myself without them; because I believe they are a vital part of the human condition. But I will be the first one to admit they are a double edge sword. I have been thinking making a family lately. I am not sure what has been thinking ( Read more... )

I actually been feeling really good today and it feels weird.  I keep wondering if I will get better or not, but there are parts of me that feel like I can take over the world at time I want.  I am at a family barbecue today and its actually really good, I don't feel like such a outcast.  Maybe one day I will be well enough to live a somewhat ( Read more... )

I am feeling better today, although I almost got put in the hospital again earlier in the week.  When I was in therapy I said I wasn't afraid to die, I was more scared of living being mentally unstable and never getting well.  I am one day (really soon) I get better and live a some what normal life.  Ok onto lighter things, I am trying to find a ( Read more... )

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Well some things are finally happening, so I am hoping I will be able to go home sometime soon.  I don't think this is the place for me.  Another thing thats been bugging me, how I would like to find that special someone and be with them always.  But sometimes I feel like it will never happen.  Maybe when I finally get things set up the way I want ( Read more... )

What a week, this has been a hectic week; for lack of a better term I had a mental fit this past tuesday.  But I got over it, anyway back to the title of my blog.  I have still been updating my blogs trying to get them more better.  But its hard to find contributors and me not having a computer that kinda hinders me.  I am reading a ton of books, ( Read more... )

A lot has been on my mind lately, one thing that has been heavy on my mind is my brothers and sisters.  I am wanting to find them so badly its not even funny.  I feel like there is this hole in my heart.  I know nothing almost nothing about my dad, so thats another big reason I want to find my them.  I still get this why me kinda of stuff, like " ( Read more... )

TDK8012's LJ stalker is albedoblue!albedoblue is stalking you because your LiveJournal is just SO damned interesting. They are also deluded!

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I need a life, it seems like my life is at a stand still right now.  When I get some money coming in, I am going to get me a laptop and save up for a car.  An if I can pull it off, I have 2 words to say "ROAD TRIP".  I am going to hit a few different states, like New York, California, Florida and thats just for starters.  I might even try to talk ( Read more... )

I am trying to teach myself programing, so I am going to publish my way on my opensource computer blog, all that are interested let me know... JEC