Soul Searching...

[tehanu_gin]

Jason and I were talking last night and he called me evil. Evil because of what I 'do' to people.

Well, that's a bit interesting, isn't it?

The conversation went on to him telling me I need faith. That I need something to believe in because I'm so miserable in my life. Apparently because I don't have anything to believe in, I'm evil.

Well, why the

Comments

[flyswatter]

Aw Judy, I know you are trying so hard to make it work with your husband and I really hope you can do it. It sounds like you both are trying so hard. But trying to change yourself into a Christian is going to be rough. It's kind of like trying to whip up faith in the toothfairy, when you weren't brought up to believe in the toothfairy and in fact think the whole thing's a crock. I don't think folks who are by-default atheists can just change. Just sayin'. But those big megachurches have awesome social functions and there are probably more closet atheists there than you or I know about.

[tehanu_gin]

yeah, I'm not going to go to 'be saved'. I'm going to go for the messages and the socializing. I've been listening to sermons online from one of the churches by us and so far it sounds entertaining. Jason says it's not about entertainment, it's about the message but I don't want to sit around listening to some really boring sermon for an hour.
It seems like no matter how hard I try though, I don't seem to be doing good enough. It's getting really frustrating and Jay is sure I'm about to hit rock bottom in my life. I don't know what to do.