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tonight i stuffed myself silly with delicious indian food. and then i saw amazing music in a barn that felt like it was in the middle of nowhere, but really was in durham, new hampshire (thriving metropolis that it is ( Read more... )

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it's three hours. three hours of people looking at you, but not looking at you. you can pretend this is enough attention to survive on, but it's not--it's false, there's no engagement, no recipricioty. he might touch your cheek (static electricity) to illustrate, they might break your face with laughter here or there, but that's it. look at me, ( Read more... )

ok, i have not seen the movie, nor do i plan on putting anymore money into mel gibson's pockets, so perhaps i shouldn't talk. someone just told me that in the movie Satan is depicted as a woman. UM. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. Why hasn't this been mentioned AT ALLL in the hoopla, *ahem*, HYPE, of this movie? I'm sorry but I think that is deplorable. ( Read more... )

so instead, pictures.


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ugh, i rock the mostest. especially lately. it's been footinmouth disease non stop ( Read more... )

-to pretend it doesn't matter to me would be a lie. it does, but mostly how you [oh, not YOU] were able to cut me out of your life so quickly and easily. and again, fuck me for trying to be someone's friend. who am i, right? nothing. obviously i meant so little i don't even get acknowledged or told anything. some friend ( Read more... )

a week ago today i was crying in my mother's doctor's office because i read an article in People magazine about a 2 year old who survived being abandoned for two weeks by living off of water from the toilet, ketchup, crackers, and whatever else was within her reach. they said that the labels of soup cans had been torn off because she was trying to ( Read more... )

you know. i'm certain some people have thought one way about me or another and how my life is lived thus far. maybe they're right in ways they don't know, maybe they're not.

but at least i have the goddam courage to confront myself and my demons every week, however lightly. i am fucking proud of that fact.people who have never had therapy or ( Read more... )