i will never know the truth from you. i wish i could just go back and get done what i needed to. i didnt do it, and i feel bad. but i am working on forgiving myself and moving on. it wouldnt have worked. your mind was set somewhere else. how could i have thought that it would have worked? the memories that you left in the songs i used to listen to at night are fading
( ... )
i promised myself that i'd never love you again a long time ago, and i never thought i would have to hold myself to it. but now all i am is missing you, and missing those days, and thinking that i'll never have anything like it again. i can't stand myself when i'm like this, i cannot believe i am like this. last night we were talking and i started crying--i was crying over you and i cannot accept it. i haven't cried over you in so long. i thought that i was numb to you, that you could never hurt me again. but i was so sad last night that i could not sleep, & that one line kept playing in my head.
Charm. That's all you had. But that's all it took. The right words, the right ideas, the right wit. And then, you didn't even want it to be serious. A few times out, and you moved on. But only after preying on friends. I never should've introduced you to her. She dealt with more heartache from you that I did. Her way of dealing was putting you on another girl. And that didn't work out well. You used her, left her and then came crawling back while friend 1 and I watched from afar. A year this went on, because you had finally found a weakness. It took the guts of all three girls to call you weak before you got the idea. I'm glad you're gone. Out. Out of everyone's life that I know. It's so much easier to live day to day without you sliding your way around.
Dear you, Im talking to you on the phone right now. Just the sound of your voice makes me go crazy. You are truly the best thing to ever happen to me. You have no idea. I'm so scared to lose you ever. Please don't leave me. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. Even if one day you have to leave me, know that you will leave an everlasting impact in my life. You're the only person I've ever told this to, and I don't think I'll ever say it to someone else and mean it the way I do now: I love you. Love, me.
I thought that once rejection had happened it was final. But this time it isn't the case. The more I see you, the more I think "maybe...just maybe". But I'm afraid to talk to you. I can't even look at you. I see you everyday but still I never see you. More like you never see me. I don't know if what I'm feeling is new. Or I never stopped feeling for you. I wish I could just go back and let you know how I felt, the right way. I wish I could talk to you now without feeling I've ruined your life. I just want to say I'm sorry for being a stupid girl. <3
[I know this was a while ago...I wanted to do this, but kept putting it off. Add me? Haha]
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I'm glad you're gone. Out. Out of everyone's life that I know. It's so much easier to live day to day without you sliding your way around.
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Im talking to you on the phone right now. Just the sound of your voice makes me go crazy. You are truly the best thing to ever happen to me. You have no idea. I'm so scared to lose you ever. Please don't leave me. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. Even if one day you have to leave me, know that you will leave an everlasting impact in my life. You're the only person I've ever told this to, and I don't think I'll ever say it to someone else and mean it the way I do now: I love you.
Love, me.
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I thought that once rejection had happened it was final. But this time it isn't the case. The more I see you, the more I think "maybe...just maybe". But I'm afraid to talk to you. I can't even look at you. I see you everyday but still I never see you. More like you never see me. I don't know if what I'm feeling is new. Or I never stopped feeling for you. I wish I could just go back and let you know how I felt, the right way. I wish I could talk to you now without feeling I've ruined your life. I just want to say I'm sorry for being a stupid girl.
<3
[I know this was a while ago...I wanted to do this, but kept putting it off. Add me? Haha]
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