my body wants to sleep but my brain doesn't.  i think i'm going to self-destruct sometime soon.  i'm not taking very good care of myself.  all i want is peace of mind.  and maybe no more knots in my stomach and maybe more cigarettes that i don't really need ( Read more... )

the truth hurts, but lies hurt even more.
three-way best friends don't work, there's always an imbalance.
i keep losing circulation in my feet.

i don't know what is relevant anymore.

all i do is survive.
i think that makes me selfish.

i miss a lot of people.

this has no clarity.

Why do we jump through hoops to please other people? 
Aren't we worth at least a few tricks ourselves?

I was in such a pissy mood today. I had to dog-sit all day because my parents were away. And normally it'd be fine to leave our puppy for the day since he's fully potty-trained now and has calmed down a lot. But no, not today. Because our dog has diarrhea.
And if I hadn't been so pissy, I'd be laughing at the situation and because saying your ( Read more... )

I can't decide if it would be easier/better/faster to stop or change.
But I guess it's never easy.  And who knows if it's actually better.  And isn't everything fast these days?
So, either would work.

With my luck, neither would though.

Is it scary how much we depend on other people?
Because it kind of really scares me.

my motto in life has always been "it's not good enough"
my life is defined by failures and disappointments
that's all i seem to remember
i don't like it and i've tried changing and i have made some changes
but i'm weak and vulnerable
and lately, all i seem to do is apply my motto to myself
"i'm not good enough"
well i don't want to be good, i just want to ( Read more... )

Everything is about starting again
you finish one thing and move on to the next
you finish one thing and have to fix it
you finish one thing and then change it
kind of like how i cut off over a foot of hair
just to grow it back again
kind of like how i didn't eat last week and lost six pounds
but i ate this weekend and gained back three
kind of like how i' ( Read more... )

things just aren't the same anymore
not necessarily better or worse, just different
and i'm getting used to it
but i don't know if i like it
i'm kind of just settling with it
because if i don't, i'll breakdown
something is missing and i don't know what it is
but all i can do is hope
that when it comes into my life
i'll know it

 "Right now, I'm wondering, have I done or said anything amiss?  You see, at this moment everything looks clear to me, but what happened just before?  That's what worries me.  It's like waking from a dream.  I just don't remember."
- H. M.