so work was cool tonight....not the working part but the talks jared and i got into with this kid colt. i noticed colt is perdy homophobic, so i asked him about it. he admitted to it. he didnt really have any reasoning other than that he didnt like the way they act. he's never hung out with a gay person before. i asked him if he liked every single ( Read more... )

so i had a horrid day. well the day was okay. i just found out jeff isnt coming over. he was supposed to be here at 6 tomorrow till saturday. i dont want to go into the details. i feel worthless again. exactly what i didnt want to feel.

..

..

worthless.

to jacob:

you make me want to cry.
i know you prolly wont read this for a long time. maybe not at all. but i wanted to get this all out because you seem to avoid my phone calls. seeing you at the expo center was so surreal, so were the events that followed our 'reunion'. jacob, seriously. what the hell happened to you. you know what happened, i ( Read more... )

i got back from the east coast yesterday. i dont know what to think about it. i dont really regret it. i regret the situations surrounding it. jeff and me will never work out. it was hard to make conversations. we dont connect anymore. yeh, i still care about him and hope he cares about me. it depresses me that we are so far apart, we could be a ( Read more... )

so ummm. i had it planned out how to write everything jared said to me. but its really not important what he said. the thing is, he broke me. we werent dating. we werent really anything. but it still hurt to hear it. im leaving you in the generalization because i dont feel like reliving it.
he asked me a few hours after to not be mad at him. he ( Read more... )

i need something new, a boy preferably, to just show me a good time and make me smile again. its been really hard just to get up in the morning because i have nothing to look forward to. i go to work or i lay in bed until lindsay calls me. we drive around with no place to go, it sucks to be bored. im annoyed with the situation im stuck in. theres ( Read more... )

i need a place to escape to. i need someone to comfort me.

last night was fun, i had come friends, jalynn, mandy, and kelly stay over, we made a bunch of water balloons and tried to get the football players camping out in the football field. we ended up just gettin the cars because mandy and kelly we're paranoid they'd get into a bunch of trouble. meh. then we were off to starbucks, it was around midnite. ( Read more... )