i just wanna go back to the beginning. the phone calls that lasted hrs. the shyness towards each other. the pointless phone calls. actually missing each other. cuddling that seemed to last forever. the butterflys. having a smile for no reason. just being genuinely happy. teaching me how to pull unneeded u turns. yelling out the window at random ppl ( Read more... )

this has been kinda hard to deal with. everytime i see couples together i get upset. i have to look away. and the holidays are makin it worse. i miss it all. i thought this would be the one. the one that would last. the one that i really liked and he felt the same way. but i guess i was wrong and i honestly dont think it will ever go back to the ( Read more... )

its over. i shouldve known that 3 weeks ago when things changed. thank you gut instinct. i hate my life so much. i hate how this always happens to me. i just hate it. and he tells me he wants to be with me but its just not a good time. yeah u couldve fucken told me 3 weeks ago. i am sick of the same old story. and i told him u cant expect me to ( Read more... )

i dont normally do this but i figured what the hell i have nothing better to do right now. so here's my xmas wish list...

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i wish i could be home in my own bed being bored. there at least i could see my dog or be annoyed by my mom. here i have nothing...no one. this is the first time i have cried since i got here. i held out for a while there. i hate the feeling of lonliness. bill is the only person i have down here..and i feel like he is pushin away from me. so i am ( Read more... )

i hate gut feelings. cause normally mine are right. something just doesnt seem right. the slightest change i notice. sometimes i just wish i didnt pay so much attention to detail. and i hate how well i can read people. i dont wanna get hurt and i dont wanna be strung along. if its not gonna work fucken tell me please. like u said honesty isnt ( Read more... )

i am seriously afraid of gettin hurt again. everything seems too good to be true. and i am gettin attached like woah. i am just hoping this only gets better. i dont think i have ever had so much fun with someone i have dated until now. never a dull moment. and u kinda never really know what to expect. everything about him is the total opposite of ( Read more... )

so..seriously. sat i came back to school. still no myspace. then bill came over. i showered and got ready. we then ventured to yonkers..where we proceeded to get lost. but its ok cause we like gettin lost. so some how we wind up on mclean. where we are supposed to be. weird. we go to rory dolans for dinner. good times. then we headed back to white ( Read more... )

i cant get on myspace at school which kinda sux. they blocked it for now bc the bandwith is slowing down blackboard. wtf. yeah so i guess i am addicted. i havent been on since sun before i left my house. jeez i just wanna post some new pics. but anyway...i have been chillen with bill a lot lately. and i really like him. things are really really ( Read more... )

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