I've written this post and deleted it over and over again. There're a lot of reasons why. Mostly I fear the breakdown in what I'm trying to convey versus what's actually heard.
First, I think that I'm fotunate that I know so many people from so many parts of the world, from so many cultures, identities, religions, people everywhere. Each of them ( Read more... )

So it's been a while since I've said anything about what's going on in my corner.

In my defense, I think that there's only so many ways I can try to explain crippling depression and paralyzing anxiety ( Read more... )

I'm always looking backward.

The "old me" wouldn't have hesitated.

The "old me" would just fuckin' jump into it with both feet with a grin and two middle fingers.

The "old me" wouldn't burst into tears for no fuckin' reason at all.

The "old me" wouldn't be morose or depressed.

The "old me" wouldn't look a the fucking gun and think, "well, it's a ( Read more... )

Today I cried my eyes out. No real reason, no real justification; I just sat down and cried ( Read more... )

The nightmare is repetitive.

I am innawoods. Camping, hiking, fishing, hunting. I am a mountain man. I have finally found peace.

I cannot stand this world I am forced to live in. Everyone screaming at each other for recognition, acknowledgement.

Politicians capitalizing on ignorance and fear, voting themselves longer terms, higher pay, more ( Read more... )

I need to talk to someone or I feel like I'm gonna explode.

If only it were that fucking easy.

Okay. This'll jump around a lot.

It doesn't make any fucking sense but it does. Just bear with me.

So last year, right now, I was in the hospital because my lungs decided to blargh. Like, a year ago today, I was unconcious and "intubated" and all that shit.

( Read more... )

At some point in time the message might have become broken or corrupted ( Read more... )

It seems that things have gotten worse here overnight so I guess I've got to try to figure something out.

So my mom found out that there's a part of the VA program that allows for auto repair.

Sent car to auto repair place to get it assessed

Car frame is broken in three places. Legitimately too dangerous to drive.

Car is paperweight. VA says car can ( Read more... )

I remember now. I have to remember this so that I can bring it up in my next session ( Read more... )

The past couple of weeks have been bad. How bad? Extremely fucking bad. Let's skip the recap. Just understand that extremely bad shit happened. That's all you get.

Is Shaun doing okay? Of course not. Things are extremely fucking bad and it never ever gets better.

Well, that was *going to be* my facebook post.

=======================

Yeah well, I ( Read more... )