≈ 023 [Action]

[thatsnotaknife]

[We have several lovely options for our audience today.

A. Hey, everyone knows Kwan, right? Hong Kong's pet tiger? Australia happens to be pet sitting this afternoon, and so he's out in the front yard, playing with Kwan

Comments

B

[onlybrother]

[ belarus watches from a distance, and to be blunt she doesn't really look awfully concerned for his safety.

she speaks a bit louder than usual because of their distance, but she's not really yelling... just talking loudly. ]

Is this something you do often?

Re: B

[thatsnotaknife]

[You mean people can talk quietly? Australia shouts back as he comes back up for air.]

I'm fine, love, no worries! He's just being a bit stroppy!

[onlybrother]

[ shrugs ]

I'm hardly worried.

[thatsnotaknife]

That's good- you let go of my fucking arm! [Punches the crocodile and they both go under the water for a moment. Then suddenly one of them swims away as fast as possible, further out into the lake. A second later, Australia comes up, gasping for air.] Coward.

A

[wybrows]

[ Sitting on the porch watching. She is used to this. ]

He's winning.

[thatsnotaknife]

For now! [Trying to get Kwan into a headlock. Kwan digs his claws into Australia's shoulders.]

[wybrows]

[ Does not care one bit. ]

What if the neighbours see ya? Don't embarrass me by losin' to him.

[thatsnotaknife]

I'm not gonna lose to a fucking mammal! He doesn't even have a pouch! [That's how you judge an animal's worth, you know. Australia is knocked to the ground by Kwan, but then he gets his legs free and kicks up, managing to push him off.] Alright, mate, you and me...

B.

[notmiddleearth]

[Watching, perched on Censor's back. Looks down at a watch she found, timing how long Pat keeps Oz under this time.

She is the best and most caring sister, really.]

[thatsnotaknife]

[If he's under for more than five minutes come save him.

They keep spinning around and around... Or Pat does and Australia is clinging to him, so he keeps going under and then coming back up.]

[notmiddleearth]

[...she'll think about it.

And seeing as he keeps coming up, she's staying put. She assumes you know how to take quick breaths bro]

[thatsnotaknife]

[Trying to wrestle Patrick into submission, punching his back! But the way he's gripping him means his arm gets a little close to Pat's teeth... Ow... Okay, bit of blood in the water but he's okay!]

A

[sub_umbra_sedi]

[coming outside for some fresh air

SCREAMS]

[thatsnotaknife]

[Kwan and Australia roll around together a little, but apparently are all fought out as Kwan flops down onto Australia's lap and Australia gives him a vigorous petting.]

G'day, Sebo!

[sub_umbra_sedi]

Why is there a tiger on our lawn?

[thatsnotaknife]

[Kwan lifts his head to growl quietly. Australia glares.]

He has a name, mate, don't be rude.

A.

[tomatatas]

[She is staying inside forever.

Or until you get that beast off her front lawn, this is not a zoo Australia

Wait he can't hear her thoughts. Better voice them. From the window. The second story one.]

This is not a zoo Australia!

[thatsnotaknife]

[Has the tiger in a headlock... Australia looks up at Romana oddly, as if he thinks she's crazy.] 'Course not. Do you see any enclosures?

[tomatatas]

[No way, he's the crazy one]

Well it's not... a wildlife park then!

[Stop correcting her youngin]

[thatsnotaknife]

It should be! That's a beaut idea!