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[the___stability]

Yeah, I'm scared. I'm fucking terrified. Why am I doing this? What happened in the last three days to make me crawl back to him and let him kiss my lips like it hadn't been so long. I want to do what is right but then I think about it and I don't care what is right or what is wrong I just want to do what feels good. I thought I felt good yesterday

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[1st_star_i_see]

this reminded me of the sorts of thoughts i had when i was trying to break away from dale. i know that the two situations have their distinct differences but i know that back then i was feeling much like you have described here and if theres one thing i can say about it all in hindsight, is that i dont regret anything about my relationship with him. i know i did everything willingly. i always knew deep down in my heart that i couldnt change him, but hope and optimism constantly won out in the moment if it meant a chance at being with him again... BUT the only thing i come close to regretting is how long i let that continue. i didnt want it to end but i broke it off him more times than i can count in attempts at seeming strong. i didnt want to be his fool, but even moreso i didnt want to be alone. he was my first experience in what i saw as love and i sacrificed my sanity, my freedom, and my other relationships with friends and chances for new love for just those few rare occassions that he would allow me to be in his arms. his arms

[_linh]

You know you are so strong.
I know it because you helped me realize the same thing about me.