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like i dont know if you thinks its easier for you when this is over, because you can cut me out instead of all of your stuff - because to me, you are everywhere. you are my bed, my jeans, my toothbrush, the fish fingers in the freezer we brought the other week, the car in the space outside, the broken guitar string on the fireplace, the mud stains ( Read more... )

i started a picture. the time flew. as i concentrated, i got lost in it, and i forgot you existed. at one point, during a rest, i remembered you, hated you briefly, had a waking nightmare of the end, had a heart surge, and then went back to it.

i want to make

i suffer from recurrent kidney problems. it hurts a lot. when it flares up, i get grumpy. the pain, the night sweats, the bullshit that goes along with it. sometimes it makes me feel fragile. sometimes it makes me feel down. it's rotten. i hate it ( Read more... )

sometimes, something reminds me of the weekend when it all went wrong ( Read more... )

i don't know why every time i hear an engine outside i have that bizarre hope it might be you.

that's just ridiculous.

also, work is for idiots. i am idiot. i hate it. and work.

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to love and to hate, the same person or thing, in the same breath, in the blink of my left eye, in one single heartbeat.

"people call us renegades"

clear it, before this evening. leave this self centered, hideous mindset you're swimming in. it's horrific. leave your bastard bravado there.

day 4, night 4, day 5


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night 2, day 3


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