hardest year of my adult life, probably, something like 09 and 10, but i came out much funnier, at least. and probably smarter ( Read more... )

is this me giving up?

i told jesse that i am like one of those little polar bears balancing on an iceberg as it melts. i saw brian green today, we had indian and coffee and talked about the concept of vogue and he told me stuff about lamby and i told him stuff about leaving and i really love him and im so scared ill never see him again. im really scared ill never see ( Read more... )

i dreamed i was in charge of a supergenius child prodigy five year old boy as a coparent with this team of adults that used to quasi-parent me in a weird spacey-future world where we constantly ate at diners or ihop. right before i woke up, i was helping him eat pancakes and then i turned him upside down and all his curly brown hair flopped ( Read more... )

do:

figure out st johns situation
pack/edit/pack things yeah but now i have to do it again kind of
git tony and vancy to take them to flux didnt happen but alli saved me i love her
paint the loft mint or butter
figure out bike issue
furniture?

tweak resume and send it to a bunch of jobs around here and the OC
schedule and study for the written test at the ( Read more... )

oh also wrote two new poems in the last week or so, so maybe that is happening again

am in the process of moving to Flux 53. i had no idea how big of a deal that place/living there is until tank asked where "this warehouse [was]" and i said where, and he said, "are you living at flux?" and i was like "yeah, howd you know what its called?" and he got all excited because i guess he knows it and its kind of a big deal, and then when i ( Read more... )

okay, so so satisfied by not knowing what the hell a ton of the voice memos on my phone are at all. they are all funny as hell, mostly unidentifiable bands singing songs i dont know in hilarious ways.

also, back to dylan, its time. ive been thinking about isis and how she thought i was so reckless

more later

ive been kind of okay except for the past two or three days or so where i have gone back to feeling dead and rotten and like garbage about my life and its not lazily forlorn and down, its ridges of acute pain in peaks, where i crunch up around my soft front side like the opposite of laughing and squeeze my eyes shut and try to not hear all the bad ( Read more... )

goodbye, the russian.
i keep trying to type something else to go with it but nothing will come. goodbye.